Why is it they have the ability to rip out my heart.

((((((((((Cap))))))))))))

It gets better! I promise. How old is she again?

its their job till they get older. boys do it too.

Its part of our job to suffer, and watch and be there when they realize that we do know what we are talking about.......some day they realize that were not just trying to control them

{{{{{{Captain}}}}}}

Never having raised a daughter, I wouldn't know what to say to that. Sons...believe me...are not that much better I'm sure. She will grow up and realize how much you wanted to tell her, show her

yup, gets better...

But what's great is that our hearts are THERE to rip out... they can 'cuz we love them, and deep down, they love us too...

She's luck she has someone who cares so much... She'll love you for this in the long-run.

I hope everyone is right, but it sure don't feel like it right now. She told me that I never really loved her mom.

maybe... she is angry and dosnt meant it! im going to assume you got divorced and she lives with her mother and she was upset that this whole thing happend.... shes angry and ill bet mommy is throwing in some of her own stories to give your daughter the wrong idea over the break up.. like the saying there are 3 sides to every story person 1 persin 2 and the truth....

My wife of over 15 years passed away from breast cancer on May 2, 2006. Things are still hard on some days.

My daughter drew many of her own conclusions about our divorce but at the ripe old age of 23 finally realized the true situation. Hang in there, it will get better.

Went through some tough times when my husband passed away 4 yrs ago with my youngest son. It was his stepdad and I didn't realize he would take it so hard. We both made some mistakes and believe it hurts, but everyone is right it should get better. It will take time, make sure she has really accepted her death, took my son almost 2 1/2 yrs to realize his stepdad wasn't coming home again. The mind is a wonderful thing and can be your worst enemy at times, sometimes it lets us put things out of our minds, but when the reality sets in it can be devastating. Make sure you are there if she needs you even if she seems to be pushing you out.

it's possible she could be angry at her mom for not being there during her teenage years & lashing out at you because it is a guilty, confusing anger. has she been able to really open up to someone since mom passed? the teen yrs are tuff enough as it is

I was adopted as a toddler. When I was a teen I used to say things to my parents that were SO hurtful. (You're not my real parents.etc.) It does get better. My parents are now my very best friends. I think sometimes kids vent to their parents because they know those are the people who will love them no matter what they say to them. I wish you the best with your teen. Just keep loving her and don't let her hurtful words push you away. She needs you now more than ever.

cap...


This is coming from a teenager, she is just not only upset by the split up you 2 but mostly the loss of her mother... My mother and father split up when i was 7 years old and i am 19 now i blamed EVERYTHING on my dad but then i truly seen that they did if for the kids more or less. Yes i know it sounds messed up but when you can't even say high to eacher anymore something is wrong...Now i haven't lost my mother or father ( Thank god ) but i did lose my brother when i was 15 years old, at the time i blamed his death on everyone i could but then yet again i seen that it wasn't right of me to do that...

Just hang in there man, it will all get better over time, Time is the answer to all question in life...

*Nickolas

i apologize for your loss... however... im assuming your daughter is devastaed as abyone would be... she is taking it out on you... thats all it is....

I just know that her words hurt more than she knows.

Cap, I didn't read this before I sent you an e-mail. I think the one thing you need to try to get through to your daughter is that the heart has an ever-expanding capacity for love. Just because you love Eileen, it doesn't take anything away from her mom. I'm not sure when a person realizes this but let her know that you have always loved her mom and will always love her mom but that doesn't mean you can't love anyone else, ever.

She may also be a little jealous or threatened, she's had you to herself for a while now. She may think that because you have Eileen, you won't love and take care of her anymore and she still needs that, whether she wants to admit it or not. Just know, yes, she really hit you where it hurts but she probably didn't realize that. If she knew, she'd be devastated.

I don't know if you know of a counsellor or have maybe a family minister, but it might not hurt to talk about this with a professional. They may be able to help a lot.

This will get better, time, communication and love will get you through.

I agree with Suz Captain............she is just feeling threatened that things are going to change, plus she more than likely has fears that once you and Eileen marry that everything in the house will be changed.....You are all going to face new challenges, and hurdles to work out. All you can is reassure her that you love her, and that you loved their mom. Things will improve as time goes on..........its hard on them because they think wow I am no longer the center of attention.......and teens are very self centered...........it will get better

((((((((CAPTAIN,EILEEN, AND DAUGHTERS)))))))) you can work together to become a family

I sure hope so.

My love......

I only got home from work and read this thread.....You know I will do anything I can to help you both thru this....From day one, I wanted your daughter to realize that I am not here to replace her mother. Nothing I do will ever make that happen, but I would like to be someone special in her life as well. We spoke of part of this when I was visiting, how children have a habit of either down-playing their parents relationship, or over-romanticizing it. I know you loved your wife just from how you speak of her and of how often. And your older daughter knows too, it will come in time for "E" to see it too.


I love you!