I figured that since I was leaving I would post all the stuff I wrote while I was here on JSH so here it goes


The seed

A seed has fallen from it's mother
set free but lost to wander
no guidance
no course set
there it lay
blown out of control by wind
pelted by rain
it lays in sorrow
it lies in loneliness

A seed now lays in earth
all brothers and sisters missing
no companionship
no guidance
there it hides
at the mercy of the world
it does nothing
it lays in fear
it has given up hope

A seed now hit by the sun
taken in as it were it's own
cradled and nurtured
it is given a place to be
a new chance of survival
a new place to grow
still pelted by rain
no longer in sorrow
no longer in fear

A seed has now sprouted roots
it now finds a purpose
meant to guide
meant to companion
meant to nurture new life
no longer at mercy
no longer searching
no longer lost
A seed is no longer alone

Back and Forth

Stranded like a penguin to flight
Dreading the day but relaxed in the night

Hammering jello nails into concreit
No lies were told but still feel deceipt

Parachuting from 10,000 feet with a siv
This is no way for anyone to have to live

Chopping down trees with a golf club
I guess some people weren't meant to obtain love

Living through life but never really alive
Its true what they say from the moment you are born you begin to die

Searching for answers to questions not asked
Sometimes wishing could continue on unmasked

Like trying to row up river using a lollypop
Maybe one day soon I can get back on top

I'll climb one more mountain and if I slide down the other side
You will know that this is the day that my heart truly died

Lanturn


A laturn introduces itself
Hiding shadows and showing a wondeful light
A light of inspiration
A light of friendship
A light that exiles the dark
Though the light will travel on
It will still be able to be gazed upon through memory
It shall return before the shadows strengthen
A lifting light
Harmonies sing from within its very core
Dark passes and fades into into the depths once again
Revitalized
Petty insecurities are now lost intentionally
Still walking with the mist but closer to the light than before
Free spirited once again

Casted


Light shimmers quietly
Across the dark
Never ending journeys
Halted by self esteem and confusion
Well being cast away
Paddles drift away
Vessel springs leaks
But still ight travels on
Cradled by unstoppable soldiers
Weary from travel
Chasing moonbeams
Confusion takes hold
Misinterpreted thought run rampid
Soul beaten and tattered for lost hopes
Fire burns not from within

Clearer

Perplexing adventures, untold and around each corner
Impatience only causes new obstacles to trip over

It easy to get lost in long hallways filled with endless doors
But by obtaining the keys and then this life becomes yours

There are as many different feelings known to us and as many grains of sand
Remembering that birds do fly high but stll have to land

People may kid around, make fun, or even choose laughter
It's most likely because you possess something that they have always sought after

So even if you must simply look in the mirror
I hope this helps you see you are all wonderful people a little more clearer

Cloak of shyness


Today I shed
My cloak of shyness
No longer will it control me
No longer will I hide

Today I shed my worries
My cloak of shyness
Time to be the real me
Time to show this messed up world what I got

No longer held down
By my cloak of shyness
By what someone might think
No longer unable to talk without a drink

Let the cloak burn in the fire
This cloak of shyness
I never asked for it anyway
Time to release all that is me

I say goodbye to you my shyness
My cloak of shyness
It's time to start living
Its time to unleash myslef as a whole

Continue


Slumber haulted by the sound of cold rain tapping against the window
Darkness gone as eyes vocus once again
Morning can be a beautiful thing
Peaceful gusts of wind bring life and movement to all it reveals itself to
Puddles gather rain
The strongest of flowers dance in the nippy November wind
New beginnings available as long as footsteps of old not retraced
Slowly rising
Still dazed from self
Continuing on with a smile that the rain has brought
Although still possessing pain
Nature has no obstacles
Endure this life I must
Trying to be reborn
Trying to let the haunting of the past fade
Desires to see the future
Still clouded by mist
Dusting self off from a self aimed slaughter
Moving on to the next day that await in my path

Eyes Open


Eyes open reluctantly
A new day has dawned
Thoughts from the past still racing on
Going through cycles
With lost motivations
Still a colydascope of images racing
Pick self up and continue through unwanted rituals
Daily routine eminent
Realism at its worst
One continuation of the next
Criticizing oneself easier to do these days
Rituals pass
Wonderful peace of night approaches
Relaxation
Slumber soon to come
Dreams take over showing the way to a happiness forgotten
Eyes oen reluctantly.........

Human


Daydreaming on soft fluffy clouds. Never any worries about falling. Though thoughts of never dreaming racing through the mind of a wonderer. Storms pass by underneath. They tickle fantasies of dreams that have occurred before. Lying in wait for the next phase. For surely it will bring forth the sun. The storm passes. Still floating, but having knowledge that even a storm has an end. The future has now begun. Waiting for the next ray of sunlight to shift the very structure of this place. The sun appears. Clouds now vanishing. Falling to earth and awaken from the dreams. For I am human and this is all I can be.

Left Behind


Fallen companions and lost family and friends
Stripped from our lives before there time was to end
Love ever growing for loved ones past on
We miss you all greatly and out hearts scream out in song
The first days past and it seemed like life was nothing without you
Still hanging on to wonderful , loving memories of all the things we used to do
With now only thoughts and picuters to recollect from
Your love still feels our hearts loudly like the beat from a drum
We will miss you always our patrons of life
Though you have left us in this world your spirit grants us light

ONce ate a Shadow


I once ate a shadow
for the wouldn't leave me alone
I once ate a shadow
for no light was in my home
i once ate a shadow
yet it struggled to go down
i once ate a shadow
when no one was around
i once ate a shadow
and it shortly took over
i once ate a shadow
had to keep looking over my shoulder
i once ate a shadow
and depression set in
i once ate a shadow
and my life was about to begin
i once ate a shadow
and it took me for a ride
i once ate a shadow
i once almost died

Once kissed a light


i once kissed a light
that refused to let me give up hope
i once kissed a light
for in the shadows I moped
i once kissed a light
and it kissed me right back
i once kissed a light
that wouldn't hold me back
i once kissed a light
and it lit my new path
i once kissed a light
that stole the shadows rath
i once kissed a light
and happiness had begun
i once kissed a light
i was finally having fun
i once kissed a light
that pushed the shadows
i once kissed a light
and I hope it will stay

Ramble 1


searching for answers
for a test I am not taking
dreaming true nightmares
although I am not sleeping

jumping over obstacles
but my feet stay planted
I still stay calm
but may have overreacted

i write a few words
though I don't know what I am doing
my brain isn't working
but ideas are still brewing

I am drowning in something
but I am not swimmng
maybe I should go
and start from the beginning

this doesn't make sense
but it's clear to me
I would like to start running
but there is nowhere to flee

I have nothing to write
but I have a lot to say
I was going to leave
but decided to stay

Ramble 2


Barefoot
I wonder through the windy ghost like whirls of sand
Led to waves
That carry love from souls a far
No longer alone for my spiritual brothers and sisters now among me
Music to my ears as seagulls carry forgotten thoughts and secrets
Peaceful clouds hide the sun but can not contain it's wisdom
Breaking through it captures me
Guided by the soft power of mother nature
Free
At ease
Controlled not by petty difference
This is where I shall stay

A Collection of Rambles

"Wander No More"

It can show itself to you without warning. Blind to a true feeling that, soon would reveal itself to you. Wondering, waiting, still you cannot see its intentions. Playful at first, as it grows. The flirt filled nature will soon set in and you will find yourself helpless to prevent it's ever growing power. This is real. As real as night or day. As real as the sky, as real as the stars above. Crashing on your very soul like a mighty wave from the ocean of eternity. Feeding its strength with every waking moment, you now grasp it. It grows addictive. Flirt filled thoughts grow into desire. Passion consumes you. No longer can you can live without it. You have become one with it. No longer alone, no longer does your heart have emptiness. Two wondering spirits have now joined a single path, a path of happiness, a path of loyalty, a path of love.

Obscurelight



"Hiding From The Light"

I stand in dark places to shield myself from reality. Although the light can be seen from a far I choose to not acknowledge its very existence, for behind the light, surely, pain dwells. The only familiar place comes from within myself. Here is where I hide amongst the shadows which have grown to be my friends. The shadows, they, will never harm me, they will never cause me to feel pain. For I can rely on them to never change their feelings for me because I am they. Mutual losses of them, they, I, are shared, and can only feel fixed from within. Sadness is brought by the light, for it runs them from me. Running behind the safety of an stood firm tree or a passing by cloud. This is where I dwell. My cave is my home, for no light can penetrate through it's walls, the light stands in wait, trying to find a way in, but cannot. For, I , once strong of heart , will not let the light enter, in fear, I sit, in fear of the light, fear of what dwells behind it. One day the sky will become gray and I will leave the sanctity of my home, but as long as the light waits for me, I shall remain.

Obscurelight


"The Battle Within"

The battle within rages through my life. A war never won nor lost. Insecurities and self pity are my captains. The battle within causes me loneliness and sorrow. The battle within also makes me stronger. To prevail I must stay within the boundaries of my own sanity which retreat as if they don't remember who I am. I push on. Worries of past memories and judgments. Worries of past mistakes. The battle within breaches my thoughts, my mind, but it reminds me that I am, indeed, still alive. For the day the battle was won, my life will have ended, and truly never would I have lived at all. So now i tell you, all who read these words, remember yourself as you wish to be, do not let negative thoughts over run you. Do not let them win. Follow your heart and be yourself, for it shall be the only thing that you find that they cannot strip from you. It will, in fact set you free.

Obscurelight


"A Candle"

I am but a candle whose light burns in a still room. Though slowly my time grows shorter with every passing day. My slight imperfections once thought, even if only through me, melt away in the same fashion as the rest of my loneliness. I become extinguished only to lay dormant until being lit once again
to complete what is necessary to finish my path, a path of inspiration, a path of friendship, a path of light. For darkness may surround me but never will it
consume and even when not lit I know my presence will never be forgotten. For I am a candle and my heart is the light.

Obscurelight


"The Ostrich"

Unthinkable past and unforscene futures. No longer like an ostrich. The stars can be seen once more but are no longer filled with the passion they were once consumed by. Yet still, they shine brightly. Still, they shine as though in wait for the ostrich to return its crown to the horizon and to gaze once more. To guide perhaps or remind, remind the creature that no matter how long it's hidden itself from reality, someone, something, still lives. The stars, the teachers, look down at the ostrich as though teaching a lesson for these teachers have continued on in their rightful place for an eternity and will continue for another. The ostrich now understands.

Obscurelight


" Leaves of Change"

An autumn breeze now blows gently through the leaves of brown, but lifeless they are not. Now freed from their home they scatter quickly in the wind. Free to explore, though helplessly caught in the air of a new found adventure. Shall they be guided to experience the world as never before. The tree lay in sorrow, for its children have left. Happiness still remains. For its foundation shall start a new family once the rains return. The cycle of life continues. The wind of change blows. Blown around as the leaves we are, for we are but travelers, travelers of this life.

Obscurelight

"Lifted Fog"

The fog slowly tumbles throughout the land of shadows. It consumes virtually everything in its path except a glimpse of light. For the light, powerful, still breaks through no matter how hard the fog tries to dilute it. Silhouettes of memories past are dawned once again by the light which could only be conjured by the rivalry of the to states through their very existence. Though lost on your way the fog shall lift and reveal your true location, your true intentions. Lost no more shall you be in shadows. The light reminds you, the light cradles you, the light guides you to your final destination of happiness.

Obscurelight

"The Storm"

The silence, broken by the first drops of rain. Now falling faster with every passing moment they are caught by the last glimpse of sun, and now cover the sky as a prism like blanket. The suns place soon taken by flashes and bolts revealing, once again, the beauty of clouds in the now darkened sky. Crackles of thunder grow ever so closer from the west. The rain runs off me as if I were a lonely tree standing in the wind and childhood memories now race through my mind. Mother nature, now at her best, releases her song. I am not alone. She pulls me into her blanket, comforts me, and speaks to me from the sky. Her light shows me the way to my once lost thoughts. I live on.

Obscurelight


This was for a friend...

"Request Mist"

Still dazed from the passing of yesterdays trials, she wanders into the quietness of a new morning. As though being welcomed a slight mist brushes her face ever so gently as to wake her for a new day dawned. With motherhood soon to be waiting she gazes into the life of moisture laying gently upon the grass. A blessing of a new day was upon her.

Obscurelight

"The Lake"

The lake shimmers silently where the moonlight meets shadow. The fish kiss gently the underlying surface of reflective fire as smoke dances to the stars. The smell of charred wood and freshly fallen mist fills the air. The nocturnal creatures alert now to my presence gaze into my soul as if they remember we from lives past on. A peaceful serenity known not by day light shines upon the lake as songs of crickets and frog chirp into the night. With a calm breeze now into my face I lay quietly and listen as it sways the trees in its gentle power. Now enlightened, I may begin my slumber until daybreak.

Obscurelight

Secret


There are times I write and fell unnoticed
Happy thoughts or out of pain
And still I write on just to release thoughts and felling
Now I used to not be able to share this with others
Kept on wondering how everyone came up with such kind words for total strangers
Yelling never really solved anything
Out bound thoughts couldn't be contained any longer though
Unfortunately I found that out the hard way
Mentally I still wonder if I am getting my point across half the time or not
You all have changed that feeling luckily
For now I must try to write and free the corl from my mind
Really I don't see how that will happen quickly though
I Am willing to try this even if rejected
Eventually I will get my brain under control
Now and then I must admit it still gets away from timt to time
Deep thought dwell within us all and they should be shared
So continue posting my friends

Split


Driven off to fend for ones self
After all of the times everything was put on a shelf
Trying every possible scenerio
Still having doors slammed by paid hires that say no
Lost to ramble on deaf ears
Forced to find answers to all the fears
Walking around with one half missing
Brain still speaks with my heart remenissing
Of wonderful memories and heartfelt notions
If I don't silence them soon there will be an explosion
Brain going in one direction heart in another
Why can't they just agree and choose one or the other
Until that I day I stay where I sit
It's both happy and sad I really must admit
For the time being I will think about it all
And stare at the same place that looks like a fish on the wall

Tossed

Placed in a small box to be placed off in a corner
Forgotten
Like an old toy that brought so much happiness until Christmas returned
Left behind once more
Put on the corner like cut flowers that have dried and withered
True intentions forgotten
No tuning back now
Searching for new beginnings only to be lost
Trapped within self
No entrances or exits
So much to give but noone to receive
Wasted talents lay dormant
Light fades in the disatnce
Why
Why
Why
How can this be
Heart growing cold as time shows its true power
Doomed a life of solitude
Happiness hides like a twisted game of fate
Relentless
Where to begin now
Hopes and dreams slip between shaky fingers
A vail of lonliness remains

Trapped

Standing in the dark recesses of my minds dungeons
Wandering in circles
Steping on familiar footsteps
Waiting for a break
A sign
An image
Bars blocking exits
Haunting voices consume
One door opens
Yet another one slams
No way out
Compass shatters in my still sweaty palms
Maps written in a language not known to me
I press on
Never looking into the dark
Treading a narrow line of of sanity
Spying through keyholes of reality
Still hanging on to this broken key
Still hanging on to wat could have been
Still standing among in the mist
Able to advise others
But never advise myself
Going foreward in reverse
Can not escape what is to pass
Gazing through windows with a longing to climb out
But can not
Feet growing roots
Exiled from myself

Ramble 3


tramatizesed
gravity pulls inner workings water down to cotton coverings
wounds reopened from short traveled soldiers
gears unwillingly turn
ghosts haunt what should have been
now climbing from black to black
shooting stars peered on elswhere
and a new flower grows alone though light hides in hybernation
searching
soul wanders once again