I am so so weary of finding a descent man who doesn't care that I am over 50 ( looking down the barrel of 60), am a large woman and have a moderate disability. I do use a wheelchair outside my home due so a number of back injuries. Inside my home I wander around just fine and take very good care of myself. It seems that each man who finally stops to chat with me will run like a chicken with it's tail on fire when I inform them of my other "strikes". They never wait long enough to find out that I am a terrific gal !
What is wrong with these guys ???

To each their own MissJudy, To each their own.

There is nothing wrong with you or them, there just isn't a connection.

When you find the man that accepts you this question will be moot.

I wish you the wisdom to accept the one that is right.

Judy, I'm trying not to be blunt, but realistic. The men you've met who run are more looking for convenience--they don't want to deal with even a folding wheelchair. They want a dating relationship, and may be afraid of being expected to become a caregiver, even though you describe yourself as independent inside the house. They want a terrific gal but without the strikes you describe.

Whether they're moral or considerate is another issue. But be like Rocky--don't give up! Wish you the best of luck!

I wish you the wisdom to recognize that your situation is much more difficult than an average person so you will require great patience before you may find your gentleman. Many folks have too many personal preferences that exclude you. Find a variety of interests and consider making some personal changes that may help you become healthier and socially desirable too . Regards

If change is your goal then do change but if it is not and you are happy with who you are then you should not feel you need to change to find someone right for you.
You only need one that thinks you are everything and you feel the same for them.
While you may not be most people's ideal match there is probably more than you think. Everyone is different.
Be who you want to be because nobody but you can be you.

(I heartily agree with sybariticguy.)

oh ya

uh huh

let us all presume to know this person's health and medical history

and then have a bunch of men tell her to change in order to attract a man


nicely done no really..

shall she just pitch the wheel chair while she is at or is she allowed to keep that?


online dating is like shopping for a car online

most of us have some scratches or dings

some might even have a few nuts and bolts loose under the hood

but most ( not all) most want shiny and sparkly


it is a swipe right world right now

instant gratification

want casual encounter with some pretty form and face


at least that has been what I have concluded from the ....rather large

amount of messages I have received from this dating site and a few others




I would encourage you to not put all your eggs in one basket
to branch out and get involved into your local community
something that interests you like a book club, church group, I dunno..
french cooking classes or painting and there you will meet like minded people who will get to know you as a person and see beyond your disabilities and into who you really are

OP, this is probably the best advice you'll get... always good to literally mingle(tm) in real life to really get to know people - and them know you.

MissJudy, so sorry to hear this but you are not alone. My friend says he doesn't understand why men don't want to be with me. He calls me a self made woman, I cycle and work out, paid off my house, and do community work. The only downside of me is my age and that seems to be a factor. All, I can say is that I hope there is at least one guy out there that is smart enough to appreciate you.

Yes.
So put a small blurb in your profile about what you want
someone to know. Then enjoin the forums, where you can
get to meet people, and chat them, as an equal to all.

If you blame men for neglecting you for your issues
it comes off as sour grapes, poor me.

Better to charm them into blindness :-)

Excellent Opinion!!!

Having a need for a wheelchair usually but not always is a bigger deal than a pair of reading glasses for potential dates to deal with.

And as unfair as it sometimes feels those are the cards you are playing with. My experience is you have a good cry over it, throw a shoe at the wall, whatever it takes to get over the loss of a few folks that are not going to get past it and move on.

You don't lie or hide your differences but focus your energy on being the best at what you are good at and by golly when you least expect some one is going to waltz/walk/or roll into your life and turn things around.

I will be honest enough to tell you it is highly unlikely that it is going to be through the computer and or at least will not be in the comfort of your own home maybe even neighborhood. You will have to show people that you are as willing to fit into their life as much as you probably wish they would just cookie cutter into yours.

I get what a big challenge that is but there are a lot of fun things and places,and groups that you can get in
Look up your Independent Living Center, AARP, Parks And Recreation Senior Centers, Library (literary club), Senior Gleaners food bank, Habitat Admin offices, to name only a few and I Guarantee you will be around peers that will barely notice you use a chair.
,
Best of Luck