alternately, date a metro girly man

discuss brands

and watch your sense of femininity fade and bleed on a dance floor, on grey sateen ck sheets

if you're out on fine dining

with ppl calling you ma'am and attendants pulling yer chair for you

i don't really call it the kitchen

but whatever works for you

may as well have girls night

go dutch

and have more to relate about

ak0 - I'm not really sure where you're going... He hasn't acted at all like I have to pay, and he's definitely not girly in the least. Obviously, he can afford it, but I'm an independant woman who can, too. I think he's secure enough that I won't be insulting his manhood if I pick up one bill. If I offer and he wants to pay anyway, then no harm done.

Troublemaker7
I am sure he won't mind you picking up the tab, and I know where you are coming from too
We did grow up in different worlds compared to those who believe in that the man should always pay thing.
I know you just want to feel like you are doing your part too
and there is nothing wrong with that
Dam us independent women

just some personal thoughts about it. im pretty firm on where i stand on this topic. this question just continues to float around and i've pondered it myself from time to time.

independent women remain independent. i'm not targeting you there, tm7.

for the women who are going to get married, have a couple kiddies, scale back their careers to have a quality life and actually be a parent and caretaker for their families.. how should those dates look if she would opt for a man who would provide a quality of life

but the main point being, independent women remain independent.

date however one pleases

this is a new age the first 10 dates are on the man. after that treat him every 4th time. that will be ok to his ego not a power thing just a care for you thing.

new age of ?

BS

nature still the same, family still the same, needs still the same

let's just hope they're all spayed and neutered. that would be new age.

So... what I'm hearing is:

I should just send my check book, credit cards and wallet.

I've been in a relationship like that. Before long I was paying 80% of her rent, most of her car payment, all of the food, and health care, and I had a place of my own! Let alone picking up the bill at the theater and restaurant. She slept in til 2 or 3 in the afternoon, laid around for the remainder of the day, then was ready to go out and spend money at about 7p.m.... and still *****ed about money when I came home from work. In the final analyses...she must have gone to the same school of thought you did? Apparently I was not a good enough provider, and sent me packing... until she got in more financial trouble, that is.. and begged me to come back. I declined.

Thanks, but no thanks.

That sort of thinking has nothing to do with times a changing, old fashioned or new age. That is just taking advantage of a persons kindness.

My idea of relationships, marriage... is it is a partnership. Household duty's are shared, raising the kids is shared, even the means of income in many households is shared. It sounds like you are thinking of the 50's.

Or a Sugardaddy!! yikes!!

Just because you have a picture of Marlyn up you shouldn't think like her..

I could care less about what a man makes its more important what I make so I can raise My son and hold my head high doing what I know is right.

my ex is there to do his part with our son but I don't want to be Dependant on him to get through life. and thats the bottom line

no Bs about it in this day and age there is no reason a woman should expect a man to do it all

i think marilyn earned her own income but lets leave image outta this

i would say ppl need to pick and choose what kind of lifestyle and relationship they'd like

i'd also say men who are taking care of things don't just hand over anything. if you're married, you're married and i guess it would be wise to choose a person with similar financial goals and views on money.

as far as family structure, if ya got your bases covered and one of ya remembers to pick the kid up every day and is available, i guess that works.

again, independent women remain independent

in the 50s, i would imagine paying some lady's rent would mean she was your mistress or you had some questionable issue that prevented you from marrying and running a household of your own.

or just a sucker

?

Now make nice everyone or to the naughty corner with all of you!

Troublemaker was starting a good topic!

First off, Jistme, I'm willing to have you pay 80% of my bills if you want to. And remember, I have access to buddy passes!

Back on topic...Trouble, offer, then insist to pay. Or as mentioned invite him out and let him know the evening is on your. Or do as the wise Gypsy offered, invite him over for a lovely home cooked meal.

I guess I am too modern at times. I offer to pay, leave a tip, etc. Especially if I made the plans and did the inviting, the evening is on me. (That did not sound right.) The man I am currently seeing appreciates that I pick up the check or at least offer to and has told me so.

Let us know what happens! Hugs, M

further, as society continues to tout the single parents who do the right thing, i just wonder

what that will contribute to the collective subconscious of future generations

the fact that a parent has picked a bad mother/father for their child gives some the idea its an opportunity to make him/herself out to be some sort of hero

It's definitely a different time now, women can pay. Just tell him since he paid last time it's your turn now. I don't get offended when that happens to me.

I have always been a fan of people paying for what they order, but hey everyone has they're own system and I Can pay for her, or see for me, as long as we come to an agreement.

the reason there are questions about who pays and the apparent pettiness that arises out of this topic is that noone seems to want to delve deeper into what relationships mean

are you just going to fck, sit in the park together and smile, will you be roomies putting a ten in for a pizza on some hand-me-down coffee table or will you be having a family

when there are no definitions, there are no roles, and noone really has an answer that means anything

so it's easy to say, ok we'll split it when in reality it just doesn't turn out that way

men get weaker and weaker and women become superheroes, even supermoms

and somewhere the wheels keep churning in pharmaceutical and fashion houses across the nations

Sorry, akO! That did sound rude!

I think it should just come natural to share things.
Carry your own wght.

& yes Invite him out & pay & cooking. That all just falls into place if that's the way you were raised.

I'm not sure I understand, ak0. Who's definition of what? Of what defines a family? Of what defines a relationship? I would think the parties involved decide--not society.

Honestly not trying to incite drama, just interested in your opinion.

M