I've been with a woman for 9 years (on and off) and we have 2 daughters. She's just left me (again) by phone. We're both from IN/IL area and moved here to CO so I could work. She left me to move back to IN about 1 1/2 years ago but a few months later (after a few boyfriends I have to add :) called me and said she wanted to get back together and ever since then we planned on moving her back out here this December (i've flew her up to visit a few times over the year but when she left me I had to rent a smaller house and get into a lease, it wasn't big enough for all of us so I decided to wait it out till my lease was up). I haven't even dated since she left me the first time and don't think I can take her back again if she's to call. It was so hard to do it the first time. This actually isn't the first time she's strung me around like this but that's the past. I think I'd just like to hear what people have to say about it. Any similar experiences? We do have 2 kids and I love them dearly but It's not worth being in a relationship like that I don't think.

You should never stay in a miserable relationship because of your kids. You will just wind up resenting your kids further on down the line. Let her go and focus on taking care of you and on being a good dad. By not letting her treat you like crap you are setting a better example for your children than you would if you stayed in a miserable relationship. ...Anyway, that is just my opinion. Hope I helped.

yur letting her walk all over you,,

It doesn't sound like a good envirement for the children. Never stay together for the kids. I guess the main question is..are you IN love with her? Why do you keep breaking up? It doesn't sound like a stable relationship at all.
I would think that you would want a relationship that would be stable and you knew was going to last longer then a few months at a time. The only good thing is the children...but do you want your kids to see what its like to be in a chaotic relationship?
I would say move on...build a relationship that is going to last, sounds like you have a lot of problems. Maybe you both just need a new beginning?

every body is different ..who has the kids ..my old lady left me after attempting suicide left the kids with me and then came back after 3 months and took the daughter and left the son..i wouldnt take my ex back just because of the way she went about it ..if you take yours back how do you know she will stay and not do it again ..but i cant say for you i dont know enough to.

I found out my husband had an affair. It was just before Thanksgiving, so we agreed he wouldn't move out until after the new year. Then during that time, we talked alot about what went wrong...and I begged him to stay with me and work things out. All last year I thought we were working on saving our marriage, only to find out he had yet another gf on the side. No more taking back. We have two kids, but they would not be better off with unhappy parents all the time.
My situation wasn't exactly the same, but principles still apply.
Best of luck

Bro be a good dad first. Secondly had an ex girlfriend threatened to leave our relationship to go back to her ex husband every six months. Then after a few weeks, she acted as if nothing ever happened, we would make plans, and then here we go again. I tortured myself for 2 years. I think I stuck around because her son needed a constant parent figure, But the last time she diapered for 32 hours did not even call about her son went out with the girls she said but ended up staying at her ex husbands house did not call me until 6:55 am and said she was on her way home to go ahead and leave her ten year old there. Told her I took him to work with me did not want to leave him home alone but was coming home at 6:30 she told me to take him to school and she would be on her way home. She got home at 7:30 pm. I was torn up bad. She claims she was to drunk to drive home and slept on the couch however, she spent the whole day with her ex husband. I could not take it and moved over 800 miles away. She still tries to cal me even though her and her Ex are living together again. I could never take her back I just miss and feel sorry for the boy

Thanks for the replies so far. It's hard when kids are involed. I just hate to think of me no being around when they're as young as they are. You're right "unsure" about me wanting a stable relationship lol .. It seems as if i've never had a real one. My sister says i'm "whipped" and I could see how someone could say that but she really is a good person and I see that and keep going back.

Dude,
Once they leave and start sleeping around, they are spoiled goods and they will always go for the thrill ride. Sounds to me she gets bored after a while with her new sex partners and ryan will always be her Savoir

Run, Forest Gump, Run

lol oh man i hate to see it like that but there's alot of truth in that statement

A GOOD person wouldn't disrupt your life and the kids' lives like that and wouldn't cheat. Past behavior is the best indicator of future behavior. Sounds like an unhealthy pattern. Sorry. She may be looking at you as a safety net, and is highly likely to have a repeat performance.

I understand you wanting to work it out for your children, but kids are alot more easily adapted than we seem to think. Your children want you to be happy, and if that means not being with their pill of a mother, I'm sure they'd just want you to be happy.

If a person leaves once they will leave again in most instances......

I wouldnt take them back after so many bfs etc....and then she wants back when she has had enough......

Good responses!!

My questions are...do you still love her? Does she still love you? Is she worth going back to? Can you fix this problem?

If you answer no to any of these questions, you should let her go.

Good luck to you!

just get hte booty call and leave it alone

dont even get the booty.. who knows where she's been...

leave her be... its not serious for her.. she just can't take care of herself.. she wants others to do it for her.

Yah I think you guys are right she's always wanted to come back when she's maybe thinking she isn't getting anywhere and leaving me when times get a little tough.

your her welcome mat...she wipes her feet all over you and you keep letting her

Sorry you're having a rough time. I've learned through experience that no one should ever live 1/2 a life. Maybe it's time for you to move on. Sounds like she only comes back to you when she's out of "options". It must be really hard on your kids. I know you love and miss your children but maybe it's time for you to think about having some happiness too. Good luck.

Staying with someone for the kids though noble is not good for the children as the adults are teaching the children how to love when they grow up. Also is it worth it to feel pulled by someone whenever they get ready but discard you when they are not feeling it.......Good Luck