She's just not that into me.... lol

Hi

Yes it takes more than one person to have a healthy relationship wherein both are happy with the other. otherwise its just one sided preference...

Very true

If the feeling isn't mutual, nothing there. Move on

My DREAM girl will be REALLY into me and vice-versa.

There's always a but...Not the kind I'd like either.

or try harder...

then you woke up?


I wonder if she fully attained "dream girl" status before or after you truly (on some level) figured out she wasn't that into you.

I am one of many who learned the very painful way, that "trying harder" when someone just doesn't care for you, makes everything much much worse.

My suggestion: when you find yourself entranced by someone who doesn't feel the same way you do, go ahead and enjoy your "in love" sensations by yourself. Let the other person be. After all, if you really do care about them, then moving on gracefully is the best thing you can do for them.

seems like everyone is telling her to just give up... if finding our "dream person" is easy, then there wouldn't be any dating sites to talk about giving up so easy...

Oh, no, not at all. NEVER give up. I haven't, even though my chances are ever shrinking (age, you know), all I'm saying is, don't waste your and the other person's time in pursuit, if they say no.

We are who and what we are. If you want to be a baseball player, then yes, you can exercise, get help from other players, study and so on, and become the best player your DNA allows you to be.

But what we're talking about here, finding a "dream mate," is a different kind of a pursuit. To be a dream mate for someone, your entire being has to be a match. If you are not a match, there are no exercises, no books to read, no classes to take, no guidance to follow, that will transform you into the someone else you have to be to become the dream mate for a particular person.

It's kind of inherent to the whole "dream mate" deal.

she's nuts. plenty more where she came from, and she probably spared you a lot of drama and grief later down the road.

Is that her in the 2nd photo?

There's nothing wrong with unrequited love, so long as you behave appropriately. One of my best friends is a woman I fell in love with a few months after meeting her. I asked her out, but she confessed that she was interested in my friend, so I introduced them and smiled as they fell in love. They got married and had a child together, he died 13 years later.

Over the years, she's moved on to other partners. There were a couple times we kissed, when both of us were single and a little drunk, but I never got the wrong idea about that innocent affection and that only made her appreciate me more. We've known each other for over 20 years now and are still very close. I never did get over my crush on her, but I also never allowed it to interfere with our friendship.

I have several female friends that I feel similarly about. I also have some female (and male) friends who feel a one-way attraction towards me. It can be wonderful because love is love, regardless of sex or romantic interest.

Well aren't you lucky!

I always say it is more important to understand what a relationship is before you make it into anything.

So what would be the most worthwhile thing to change

You
Her
Your dream
Your target

Totally agree. But should consider if it is worth to open your heart to the one you feel right and never regret.

Single

always happen, but sometimes you hav to let it go...