One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Are any of them YOUR mummy?

Surrounded by mommies...I've has this dream many times...actually it is a fantasy of mine.

Pull out my mummy disaster kit stored under my pillow, drink the quart of special vodka in there, wait an hour, then as I start peeing I use the lighter taped to the bottle to turn myself into a human flamethrower!

Fwwwwwwoooooossssshhhh!

Mummy problem....solved.

I know, I know, I can hear you saying "that's stupid! You'd just burn down your house!"

But if a bunch of mummies can get into my house without me knowing about it and stand around looking at me then it's obviously not a safe house.

So better to take the insurance money and get a new one.


Otherwise, I'd probably just leave the house, maybe call the police or friends or a museum or something.

I mean in order for me to have turned on the light I would have had to get out of bed, walk over to the door to flip on the switch.
Which would mean I'm already past all the mummies and nothing happened.
I wouldn't go turn on the light, and then go back to the bed to have all the mummies standing around me.

Hmmmm, maybe the mummies are cougars

Mmmm...like where your minds at.

If I woke and saw that I'd call a shrink.

Then I will ask, who will be first...

In a clear loud voice I would say "I don't know who let you in but if you're going to stay here you need to be quite, I've got to work in the morning!" Turn off the light and go back to sleep.

I would tell myself to change brand of wine and go back to sleep

I'd tell the mummies that they can save 30% on car insurance by switching to Geico.

Well first of all, what idiot turns on a light
when they hear a noise??

Instead, you silently reach for your persuader, .22 or Uzi,
and spray the area.

Does the mummies know how to date?

the Mummie never scared me. I figures I could speed walk away from that one

Now the Wolfman... that's a different story