CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE BEER DRINKER
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers I was with at
Labatt's and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer,
they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I
say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams
come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman

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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright

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"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to
heaven.
Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke

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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin

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"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry

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BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!
~ "Unknown"

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Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.

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To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!

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And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory
to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:
"Well ya' see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move
as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural
selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and
health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the
weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate
as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we
know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and
weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer
eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more
efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few
beers."

HELL YEAH!! good one, txgals

The Homer Simpson Beer Song

DO RE MI DRINK, by Homer J. Simpson.
DO...... the stuff... that buys me beer...
RAY..... the guy that sells me beer...
ME...... the guy... who drinks the beer
FAR..... a long way to get beer...
SO...... I'll have another beer...
LA...... I'll have another beer...
TEA..... no thanks, I'm drinking beer...
That will bring us back to...
(looks into an empty glass)
D'OH !!!!

hahahaha--good one, ghost!!

hahahahaaa!sweet...not...funny...is this a non funny?

13 tings that you might be slightly tipsy!
1. the parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar
2. you lose arguments with inatimate objects
3. you have to hold on to the grass to keep from falling of the earth
4. your job is interfering with your drinking
5. your doctor finds traces of blood in your alchohal system
6. the back of your head keeps gatting hit by the toilet seat
10. there are 24 beers in a case and 24 hours in a day is not a
coincidence to you
1112.. you can focus better with one eye closed
15478.,; your twin sons are named Barley and Hops
579/76516';./[ you begin aa meetings with "a.....a......."
9875414245]==-'';

to get drunk reason no. etc.

I like going to AA meetings and when it's my turn to introduce myself I
say. "My name is Animal and I have a drinking problem:
Ken starts drinking at 2 pm and has 3 drinks per hour. John doesn't
start drinking until 6:30 pm. How many drinks does John have to drink
per hour in order to catch up with Ken?"