What is more realistic? Go straight up and tell her you like her and be my girl or go under courting stage.....

The two are not mutually exclusive. I've been known to tell a woman I like her and want to get to know her better and then show her by courting her.

There are some who just jump right into it coz of the spark and chemistry thing but there are also some who wants to get to know each other first ... i just wonder whats more real and gonna last long... i have tried the courting thing but the instant one just makes me wonder...

Either one can work. It depends on the two people. It's my feeling that the initial spark and passion are necessary, but you should still take the time to get to know each other. There is more to relationships than simply sparks and passion.

tell and then show..

Short and to the point perfectly said...

us guys are to quick on most things normal for the guys the get to the point,

most we think we know its the thinking that gets us in trouble..there is a lot

to be said about taking your time and taking your cues from the ladies...

I would be up front and tell her I like her, but I wouldn't tell her to be my girl. I would let time dictate if that happens.

Well if I don't see a ring, I find a way to work something like "So how does your boy friend feel about (fill in the blank)?" into the conversation. I have yet to find someone attractive that doesn't have a ring or a boy friend already but if I do i would hope I'd tell them I I find them attractive.

Thanks for the replies ... i guess it just overwhelmed me... and im not used to it ... i mean the ... first time chat, meet or talk and would hear the word i like you and i want you .. thank you all...

I've been in both situations. Well sort of.

Courted a gal for a while and everything progressed slow and steady. The relationship lasted for years. But ended abruptly.

Another woman I met for dinner and well she just grabbed me by .
.
.
.
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My pants pockets and we were off to the races. That relationship lasted months. But the friendship has lasted years.

Really? Still friends after break up?......

Yup some times some people are better friends than lovers.

Isn't there always a 'courting' phase? Even if a guy would tell you right away he likes you, you will still go through a wooing phase.
I like to see him show me he indeed likes me, is willing to make an effort for me, just like men like to conquer a woman, which boils down to having to make an effort to 'get' her.
Isn't that a healthy part of getting to know each other, 'testing' to see if you match or not, and at the same time allowing feelings to grow on which a relationship can be built?

I think this has more to do with how you regard "courting" to be. Maybe some feel that's where you do not touch, kiss, and cuddle. But courting can -and in my opinion should- still continue even after you've had sex.
If you want to keep the relationship healthy and happy, neither should really stop courting, flirting etc.

I assume you mean the 'guy turning up with flowers, taking girl to endless dates' kind of courting. The type before intimacy, before kissing even maybe.
For me, if that'd go on for too long, I'd lose interest altogether. Would feel too platonic to me.
I'm too passionate for a long-winded platonic courting thing. Would bore the heck out of me and I'd start looking for greener pastures.

I don't think there's a default. I guess that if the match is good, it will work out by itself, based on the chemistry between two people.

In a way, asking for a date is something you would have to do before courting in my opinion. That would be your way to see if dating/courting should continue.

straight to the point. thats how i got mine. knew what i wanted and told her.

Thanks so much.. i guess im not ready yet for another relationship...

i think most guys like to start off in a fast-paced sprint
until the *commitment flag is hoisted.......and then
they inexplicably turn into marathon runners...

being honest might be a good start but for some of us women being subtle and just plain sweet would just about cut it too.