The best way to know if u can trust someone is to trust them first

I suggest you proceed cautiously and see if what the other person says consistently is true and they do as they say. After many examples you can begin to trust but not completely as trust needs to be earned and is earned by consistent behavior that is done in actions over time so that what they say matches what they are doing. Hope this helps. Advising people to start off completely trusting is not wise as more time and experience are needed before truat is demonstrated . How many times have you heard of a woman dating a man who claimed to be single and then after being intimate with her then was determined to be married? This is true for employment, education, children, all sorts of lying by omission behaviors....

always go by your first thought

FIRST YOU HAVE BE A MIND READER,,,,TRUST YOUR GUT,,,,,,EVERYONE HAS HIDDEN

AGENDAS THAT ARE EVEN HIDDEN FROM OURSELVES......PAY ATTENTION TO THERE BODY

LANGUAGE AND THERE VALUE SYSTEM, LIKE FOR EXAMPLE DO THEY VALUE HONESTY...??? IS

KEEPING ONE'S WORD IMPORTANT TO THEM..???....THESE THINGS TELL WHO THAT PERSON

IS AND WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THEM.......COURTSHIPS WERE IMPORTANT TIMES TO LEARN

ABOUT THEM BEFORE WE GET IN OVER OUR HEADS......GIRLS COMMIT WAY TO SOON NOW A

DAYS AND END UP SINGLE PARENTS ITS NOT GOOD FOR THE GIRL OR THE CHILD.....

they give you access to their phone

I'd never ask anyone for access to their phone, maybe that's just me but I'm sure there would be others who'd feel the same.

First chapter of
"Scamming for Dummies"

..I feel the same way.. I'd never ask to see someone else's phone.. are look at their laptop..
Or go through their purse...

But women always want to look through my stuff.. I don't know why they don't trust me!?..lol.. okay and of course I don't have a purse..lol..
But..yes.. I don't need proof if I don't trust you I just don't trust..you.. I've been around long enough to trust my instincts..

Learn to trust yourself.
Then learn to effectively communicate with a partner.
Which takes time and consistent interaction.
Trust takes care of itself.
Voila.


That's delusional at best and generally leads to a lot of problems.
If you absolutely trust everyone at first, then you're just setting yourself up to be preyed upon.

At best by saying "best way is to trust them first!" you're saying "I'm going to stick my head in the sand and hope no one takes advantage of me. And if they do, then it's entirely and completely and absolutely their fault! Win win for me! I get to feel good that I am a trusting person, and I get to feel the victim/righteous and better than people when I'm proven wrong."

And then you either:
- go back to sticking your head in the sand and get completely surprised and confused when that doesn't work.

- start telling yourself you're trusting them first, but subconsciously and subversively you start playing games that "test" them, without realizing you're actually doing it.

- start to get so traumatized that you just start avoiding people, and looking for any reason not to trust them, or looking for easy methods to be guaranteed you can trust them, and next you know you're using online dating sites for 10 years starting forum threads like "where are all the good ones?!" and your profile morphs itself into something about your cats being your babies.

sand just tastes so bad

This is actually quite correct.

It isn't complete, though. There are two stages to building trust between people.

The first stage, is self knowledge. You have to learn what your own most basic sense of personal security is based on. You have to know where your personal boundaries are. This is necessary in order to be able to recognize when you ARE trusting someone with your personal information or well being.

Where the OP is most correct, is that if you withhold all trust, you will NEVER find out what anyone can be trusted with. Only if you know where your boundaries and limits are, and then you take a leap of faith with those parts of your life that you can afford to risk, can you find out.

honesty is such a lonely word

Trust has to be earned. It should not be given to every stranger.

I trust everyone implicitly. I trust them to be hateful, self centered, and greedy. That way when someone is not one or all of those things it's like a breath of fresh air.