Hello Everyone,

I notice that we all are saying " we want a real relationship" if so, what are really doing to make that happen? I tried everything and so far, nothing.. maybe I can get some pointers... I know I do want to have something real and I know women here are looking for the same..

So, why is it this is not happening?

I've been doing the online dating thing for over 10 years on different sites. I've seen a lot come and go. I have found that the great majority of people on dating sites are full of sh%$. Most of them don't mean what they say on their profiles. A good majority of them are not true to their profiles. They are not really who they say they are. They are only who and what they think they are.

There are too many that just want to play. They are not really serious. Which means you will find plenty of time wasters. I have found that online dating is really not what it's advertised to be. You will find that online dating attracts every kind of nut job, the weird,the sex crazy. You name it. For every one decent person, there is a thousand nuts of every kind to deal with.

I could keep going. I've seen a lot.

In every dating sites it's really tricky because too many fishes in the sea but of course if you know what you really want then you'll end up getting what you want. No matter how many female approaches you here... Still you'll choose who you think you deserve and deserves you as well...

I think we all have and yet in my experience I have found way more "good ppl", men and women... I have never been really looking and I have never put on any of my profile's looking for anything more than friendship...Because in my mind that is where it starts friendship.

And I Have had "wonderful experiences with online dating..

I would have to say that most people I have met are pretty much what they projected on profile and emails, phone, text, skype, viber, etc...



OP... I did take a peek at your profile, and well.. I don't mean this mean but I kind of got the message that you were in a hurry for the physical... Instead of all the other steps that I think most of us that do want the "real Longterm" relationship wants first.
No offense meant honest just IMHO...

I think it is not happening for you because you are probably trying a little bit too hard! trust me, we do notice

This is an international dating site, people on here are from all four corners of the world, and I would say that in the main they are looking for someone close to where they live. I would suggest you contact people in or very close to your hometown, if you are not already doing so, because this should improve your chances of receiving a reply since not everyone wants a long distance relationship. Good luck in your search.

Same reason it doesn't happen in real life, just because too people are looking for a relationship doesn't automatically mean they are a match for each other.

I think that may be the biggest flaw in people's especially men's attitudes when it comes to online dating "hey babe, if you're on here. ..it means your desperate. ..so you're in luck here I AM to rescue you!"

They don't take time to even actually evaluate if they're a good match.....they ASSume that they a 'catch' and ANY woman on the site would be lucky to get with them...

Dating, relationships, and yes even finding the right girl all takes ACTIVE effort....I see people on sites for years..and never one date...my buddy said he was tired of not getting any dates...so I askes him how many he askes out...his answer ZERO....

efforr in, reward out...it takes more than filling in a profile and sending one or two emails....

and sometimes it takes being realistic. ..if you're 60, fat, bald, and poor you're chances dating Jennifer Aniston are pretty low....doesn't matter how sweet you, or how loyal you are, chances are slim to none.....life isn't fair. ..

if you truly value sweet and loyal that much, then don't be hypocritical and only look for '10s' that have those qualities.....

ahhh the internetz...opened up a whole new world of getting turned down or ignored online


geez whatever happened to joining groups with others in your own age group

like church events, bowling leagues or those groups that get on a bus together and travel to local events..

ya know ..so you can strike up conversation and maybe spark an interest
with someone in your own age bracket ..


probably still exist but they are not on dating sites

Everyone has put in good answers, but I still want to add a small note. I see the phrase/rhetorical question "what are [they] really doing to make that happen?" in there.

I caught on that, because whenever I've heard that in the past, what the person meant, was that they expected people to try to change who they were, and what they wanted, even discard their standards or tear up everything they learned about themselves, in order to give someone a shot.

The thing is, as others have said in other ways, the more serious a person is about building a real and long lasting relationship, the LESS likely they are going to be to make exceptions and try for big changes in themselves, in order to go with whoever is available at the moment.

I myself know that I am a complicated person, and wont easily find a good match, just because statistics aren't in my favor. So I patiently keep going, making friends (including others who have posted above, thankfully) as I go.

Back when we were just young adults starting out, it seemed as though the world was PACKED with good potential mates, because there were dozens of physically attractive unmarried people all around us. But it's also true that what most of us learned during that time, was that most of those very attractive people were a bad match for us, or us for them, so the quantity was actually an illusion.

i dont really thing many people are here for anything serious, from the forum, there seems to be many genuine nice guys but i think they are here to pass time , have fun in the forumns .To me the women seem more serious but no guys are interested in anything serious.Just my personal opinion , no offence.

i meant "think "lol

Easy come easy go. My days of running around after women are well and truly over.

I'm not ruling it out mind you but I refuse to think about it so much.

Blaaaa, blaaa, blaaa. We have been blessed with a dancer. Woohoo!

Both

well, if you don't put the effort in, how would you know? it's not going to happen without trying

The dancer, although her profile is quite of a thousand words, has a point. If someone, is actively searching for someone all day, your head will fill up with garbage at some point. You need to first be yourself, then search for someone, if that is what you want out of this. Set boundaries, in how much time you spend doing so, the last thing you want to feel while doing this, is desperation, and also frustration. Is it still my two cents, if they are eurocents?

Edited to bash those typo's, my keyboard wears quick.

serious but for some reason , i seem to attrack all the scammers. too many emails from scammers.

hello op ... I very often go through and search for men in that category ... and really what I found today was something we both did not have in common ... + live far away from each other... or I saw something I did not like about them but only becouse we would not connect in that way ... I have found it to be hard to find the right person for myself ... and I do not want to get cought up with a relationship and fight and argue all the time ... feel I am to old for that now ... and would like to be with someone... I believe we could be very happy with each other... don't give up ... and don't settle ...

you maybe right, but I've tried those also and not much luck with that. but thanks

because throughout life we only know two things life and death but the moral to this story before I get off track is every human being on this planet wants what they cannot have. just stop and look into your past where you had a rocky relationship were you the one chasing or was she chasing you but it was either one of those two scenarios. and if for some reason in the near future you find yourself to where you have forgotten that Eminem said it the best on the song Superman he told her he said don't mean to m