Hey all,

Just writing to ask for some advice/tips/suggestions/additions/modifications from the community for updating and improving my profile. I'm not getting any action and I am considering a rework of my profile and the information in it. I know the text is badly lacking, but I'm not sure where I need to start or what I should put in or what is safe to put in my profile, description, headline, etc.

So, if you would, please take a look at my profile and write in your suggestions, beyond of course my photograph (I can't really do anything about it at the moment...bear with me), of what I can do to improve my profile data. BE NICE! Don't be mean or impolite and thank you in advance. I would especially like some feedback from the 20-something/30-something ladies out there. Your input will be greatly appreciated.

Oh come on, now... There must be SOMEBODY that has seen this and would be willing to give me some help here, right? In fifteen days, 40 or so have viewed this, but NO replies?! And you people wonder why I get so mad when I am ignored?!! What's the point of writing messages or posting in the forums if I'm just going to be ignored?!

On your profile, you start a little negative. Maybe you can talk about what kind of man you are and the kind of girl you are looking for. Get a girl to see what she is missing by not getting to know you.

Hi SCB27769.

I agree with Cantinidaho.

You want to focus on all the positive things you bring to the table as a human being , not on any negative aspects of your life.

It might be better to leave the profession part of your profile out rather than to state none. You can explain your situation to the person, as you get better acquainted with them.

You can state the things that are good about you eg If you are a great listener, if you are patient, if you are non-judgmental etc. But if you don't want to come across as bragging about your virtues, then you could at least list what is important to you in life so people get a sense of who you are at your core.

Do you value family for example or your friendships, great food , enjoying nature, time with your pets , laughing at stupid jokes etc

Some of the regulars at the forum have really interesting profiles. You dont have to word yours exactly like theirs but it might give you an idea of some of the details you can include.

Good luck to you!

I agree with what CatInIdaho, Peggy and Blondie have said above.

good luck too.

Thank you Blondey. I know my current photograph sucks. And I'm well aware of the female's tendency to judge first on looks, everything else second, third, fourth, etc.. That's why I put "...beyond my photograph, of course" in my initial post. I know that has to change. Unfortunately, I don't have a proper camera and it's kind of cumbersome to figure out a good way to mount my phone so that I can take a good clean photo of myself with it. The "selfie cam" (front-facing camera) is crappy, to say the least. I mean, I don't know how else to put it...the resolution of my particular phone's front camera is only VGA quality at something like 640x480 px., so it's really not good. The main camera is far and away better, but I'd need someone else to hold my phone and take it for me. And then there's the issue of not having a suitable environment to do the photo shoot. My room's a horrible mess and you people do NOT need to see my room, it is HIDEOUS. I will, however, keep your suggestion in mind when I am able to take a more decent photograph.

Hey, thanks for the tips, Peggy. I've wondered if stating my "career" was really a good idea or even necessary to the end purposes of this site. So, yeah, I can definitely change that yesterday.

As for what positive things I bring to the table...I'm not totally certain if I actually have all that much to offer. I'm pretty, let's just say, "average", if I'm even that. I'm not much of an adventurer. And I don't count myself as being heroic in any sense. I've got a lot of life issues, a LOT of 'em, most of which I don't really want to talk about for various reasons. And, obviously, I don't want to come off as a perverted old fool to anyone, young or old. Maybe that's where I'm falling short. I'll see if I can think of something to better "capture my essence". I'm really not apt to sing my own praises, that is, I don't really like talking about myself too much. So virtues might be muted a bit for sanity's sake. To be honest, I haven't given this aspect of my profile enough thought. So I'll keep all of your tips in mind.

Just an comment, if I may. I think you're pretty and I've seen you around here often in the forums. I wish you luck in your pursuits whatever they may be.

Hey, Cat. Thanks for your input. Perhaps you are right about how I start off my profile. I don't know if I have all that much to offer. I'm super "average" and kind of awkward at talking about myself. I don't really like doing that too much because doing so tends to make me feel a little self-conscious or like I'm overselling something that isn't as great as all that. I don't really know what women want and I'm timid or headstrong depending on my mood. I admit that I haven't give enough thought to that and I'll definitely keep your suggestions in mind.

Well instead of saying you aren't the one that has luck with girls.. That kind of sounds like you have no confidence.
I have seen some of your posts and you are smart and quick, there is a depth to you that I don't see in your profile.

You know you need more pictures... So not going to beat a dead horse.

What I would say if your profile is your chance to really advertise who you are and what you are looking for.

Think of how you would describe yourself to a total stranger and go from there.

Best of luck and hope to see you out here posting more.

Hmm...I don't have much confidence. Indeed, I've never really had any confidence about much of anything. That's been an issue all my life, the lack of confidence and self-esteem. It's funny that you mention my forum persona as being "quick" and "smart". I try my very best to not be just completely stupid. I do experience life in quite similar fashion as everyone else, albeit colored slightly by some of my own personal issues. I am apt to think of myself as being "useless" and "incapable". As for there being a lack of depth in my profile, I guess I'm more of a "prove it to the world directly" type than an "advertise, advertise, advertise - never mind if there's any proof!" type. I just don't like talking about myself. I'd often prefer to show my true colors in the "field" over saying how good I am and run the risk of not delivering later. Thank you, SitkaRains, for your input here. You're very observant even if I am a bit obvious and unambiguous. I'll have to re-think the concept of "depth" in my profile. Describing myself to a finicky and oft judgmental world is going to be a challenge. Hopefully, not too challenging.

I so respectfully disagree here you aren't describing yourself to the whole world.. You are describing yourself to that one special person the rest can go fly a kite....

Sometimes we have to fake it til we make it in confidence.. Heck I do it each and every day... Then one day you will find you do have areas that you soar and fly...

Thanks Jan. So far their suggestions have all been what I'm looking for, or at least close enough to it. It's become pretty evident that I have many things to change. I'm glad to see that I haven't been totally ignored. I just hope I can do this without too much difficulty. Describing myself is not my strong suit as I've never really had to do it. Not even for a job interview, which is telling.

Good luck to you, too. I see you a lot in the forums, too, and I hope that some of my help and comments have proved useful to your own needs. Stay cool.