i was in a nine year realationship with someone who had everythimg in common but she left me how to cope with the pain any advice

yes.move on.forget about her . the pain that she caused you WILL kill ANY and ALL relationships that you wind up with.

She left you? Why worry about her then?? Why care at all??

Move on and find someone who will treat you right.

even better get drunk a lot so much that you cant even open your eyes now....every dring you take think of her and when your drunk have some one take your pic....see that pic the next day and think what you've become for a girl....

easier said then done

Well I was in a 10yr relationship with someone, been broken up a year an well were still good friends.

First of all...I'm sorry that happened to you. You must have been devastated. I would give yourself time to heal from that, before trying to move forward. You will go through many emotions along the way...feel everyone of them. That will help you in your next relationship...I'm sure of it.

try not to rehash or replay the tapes of could of would of should of...you didn't do anything wrong....

let your friends know your hurting and get the word out that you are ready to go out again...
wishing you better days better times

That's insane to worry about someone who left you. All that is gonna happen from thinking about her is depression and that's not worth anything.

Just take time. Finally you will get so mad that you will want to hide everything that reminds you of her. But it all in a box tape it up and hide it somewhere. Try and go out or keep your mind busy any way you can. I broke up with my BF 3 months ago. I am finally starting to become the old me. Or should I say the true me. And you will too. Just dont rush yourself. It will get better. I promise.

dude there are many other wonderfull things in this world....to be enjoyed....why are you crying over one girl i can understand that she was every thing to you....but then why are you forgetting your parents that gave up all those wonderfull years so that you could become in your life.....concerntrate on your carear...work harder..study if you can....and get away from chicks dude..........

You need time to work through your feelings before pursuing another relationship. Some people recommend getting right back out there, and maybe that works for some....but until you are able to come to terms with any unresolved feelings, you will carry it into your next relationship. To say to move on and forget is easy to say and hard to do. It will take time. Keep yourself busy and limit the amount of time you dwell on the loss. Do things for yourself you might not have done before. Good luck.

I know where you are comming from just be strong, it aint easy to get over this helps me


Earth teach me quiet ~ as the grasses are still with new light.
Earth teach me suffering ~ as old stones suffer with memory.
Earth teach me humility ~ as blossoms are humble with beginning.
Earth teach me caring ~ as mothers nurture their young.
Earth teach me courage ~ as the tree that stands alone.
Earth teach me limitation ~ as the ant that crawls on the ground.
Earth teach me freedom ~ as the eagle that soars in the sky.
Earth teach me acceptance ~ as the leaves that die each fall.
Earth teach me renewal ~ as the seed that rises in the spring.
Earth teach me to forget myself ~ as melted snow forgets its life.
Earth teach me to remember kindness ~ as dry fields weep with rain.

WOW sorry this happened, 10 years is a long time. I think the first thing you need to do is really get over losing her. Its going to take time...took me a very long time to get over my divorce, but it does happen.
Just don't drag someone new into it when you are still in love with the past relationship. Its not fair to hurt anyone else...thats the main thing to remember. Don't drag someone else into your mess until its all cleaned up!!
Take time because time does heal all

i got married to my first boyfriend and first love. when he left me i was crushed. i took a year and a half off of dating and not having to see him anywhere really helped. OUT OF SIGHT ...OUT OF MIND. it will take some time. in this case lots of time. just cry it out..talk it out to everyone u meet. after a while of telling the story, u see the wrong tht was done to u and u soon figure out that it was not ur fault.
poeple change. ur young,u can find love again. just take some time for u..u .u .....YOU. it may sound a little selfish, but it;s not. u need to take care of u first and then u can love soemone else again.
don't rebound!!

nicholasnip

9 years, that may as well have been a marriage. its quite some time. and yes, i can imagine it hurts quite a bit.

from here, you have to be a bit selfish for a time. they say after a divorce the next year is made up of trying to find your place and yourself. its during that time you want to focus on you and the aspects of you. fix yourself so to speak in areas you might need some work on. or even apply that to your head.

Spend the time, doing things you always wanted to do that you never could have before. Myself i chose to travel for that entire year after divorce, new experiences, and them things that "you get to do alone" are quality time for yourself to yourself.

yes the other person will be in your mind for a long time to come. and you will fel pain with each memory you have. sometimes you might be forced, or feel like you are, to remember things you didnt like about the person just to make the pain subside. no matter what road you take, think of it as an adventure, immerse yourself in a hobbie, or even start one that you couldnt before. Single and unattached can be fun and have its rewards.

All in all, there is one thing i can tell you, after a time, the hurt will go away, or at least go to sleep. you will eventually become comfortable with yourself, if you have to, think of the healing process as "all in your head" fix your head and your good to go.

no matter what, focus on being the best you that you can be. If you know of something that your significant other didnt like about you, fix that aspect. so that the next signifcant other in your life, doesnt have to not like the same thing.

you wont hurt forever, and someday you will wake up and all that will be gone, and then and only then, can the new life of you, begin.

think positive. you may love 100 times in your life, if thats the case, then i would think each time will hurt a little more than the last.

the pain does subside. just be you. and move on.

you have too. for your own sanity.


wish i could offer something positive here for you. but seriously this is one of them thing each of us must do and get through on our own, however we can.

Take care

well said invisible

thanks for all the advice others have said that she left so she didnt deserve me to throw away nine years was her mistake so i must keep reminding myself of that and try to heal the hole in my heart thanks evryone

Distract yourself, go get a new hobby, you will still think about her but the busier you keep yourself the more time passes and time is the only real cure for a broken heart.

work thru the feelings come to terms with it ,then go get drunk and get laid, lol.