She's wasn't sure.

There is still a missing link in your narrative and that is what happened to Maggie? Did you accept her proposal? I bet not... but the irony is you said you bought her some dresses to give her luck the next time she proposes to you?? as per their religious norms of some sort?? and you are expecting for a second time??

Here is the answer to your question then...Maggie loved you but you don't love her on the same level....She loved you because that is how and what she feels for you... When she said "It's got nothing to do with you" she meant that no matter what you do, she still will love you EVEN IF you cannot Love her as much as she loves you....and the reason why you cannot reciprocate is because You are still in love with Sarah and your whole being was still tied up to her in the depths of her grave and that is why you keep going back to their church every Friday coz your whole being is still attached to Sarah. I do not understand why she left you but based on your narrative that she seemed to have died abruptly, I presume she doesn't want you to get hurt or to miss her that much, as she was, at that time, already dying, and she kept it from you.

You were right, You were Naive, first for not knowing the signs that Sarah is dying and so you lost those crucial moments that she needed you most in her deathbed (I am very sorry to say that) and most importantly you weren't able to GRIEVE.....you didn't look deeper into yourself and you wasted other people's lives who loved you after Sarah. You shouldn't have let them come into your life in the first place but I congratulate you for having your "Little Sarah"; she is your most precious jewel now.

Now, you are doing charitable works for others to "Compensate" and give you some sort of "Relief or Consolement".....But before you could heal others, You must Heal Yourself First. You must learn to FORGIVE YOURSELF and ASK FORGIVENESS as well to those people you have done wrong or made unhappy in their lives whether they are still alive or not, and ask GOD to forgive you too. When all these Heavy Loads are released from your heart then you can move on now and heal others and share your story too so they too may learn something that Life is a Precious Gift, That We Appreciate the People that Walks Into Our Lives and That Each Day That We Live With Them, We Make It Count!!!

She is happy.

Whew. From zero information,to pages upon pages of it.

Unfortunately, we're still missing the critical information needed in order to answer the one question that is so important to the OP.

Here is the "mystery statement:"



The grammatical object of that sentence, is the word "IT." That critical item has NOT been explained. What exactly does "IT" refer to in the mystery question?

Without that, I can again, only guess. I have heard many many many instances of people, usually women, saying things that are similar to that. They include the classic

"It's not you, it's me." That one is most commonly said as a cover story, not an honest factual statement. The person saying it usually really means, "it IS you (that is the problem), but I don't want you to go away mad, so I'll pretend it's me."

The common phrases I've heard with LOVE as the object of the sentence, include "I love you, but that has nothing to do with you and I being compatible as mates." That would be my guess as the most likely meaning of the mystery question. Again, without knowing what "IT" refers to.


Here is a more obvious variation of this: I knew a woman a long time back now, who was charming, brilliant, talented, cute AND beautiful. I liked her a lot, and she liked me a lot. HOWEVER, she was in the process of completely recognizing that she was mostly a Lesbian, so no matter how much we liked or even loved each other, we wouldn't work as mates.

All it would take in the OP's situation, is for his and her lives to be incompatible in some fundamental way, and she could say the mystery phrase to try to explain that.

For myself, I have come to the point where I'm good with a simple "no," myself. I am completely convinced that someone either wants me as a mate or not. Explaining in detail WHY not, is useless, because no matter how thoroughly I understand every nuance of it all, the answer will STILL be no. I'm always going to be me, and she's always going to be her.

I really didn't read this topic.

I ask a few questions with some possible insight:

This woman was a flame many years ago and has recently reentered your life?

Are you interested in her as she is right now?

Is she interested in you as you are right now?

People change over time. Perhaps you might explore a relationship with her and see if there is something for both of you in each other?

What happened in all of our pasts has made us who we are right now. If who we are right now is someone we want to be or be with, then why not see if it is worth it.

Live in the now.

Sorry, You wanted to know what that means.

I have actually said those very words before.

I can tell you how I meant it, perhaps that will give some clarification...

I Love You
I do love her. I love her as a good friend and confidant. Its a different kind of love than the love needed to create a commitment to intimacy. I care about her deeply but do not want to be intimate with her because my love for her is not as strong as the love I am prepared to give someone special.

But it has nothing to do with you

My feelings are mine and you did absolutely nothing wrong. My feelings are just not strong in the ways I want them to be, no matter what you do.

Forgive me for intruding OP.

One thing I READ and don't understand in your first opening comment.
IT IS RIGHT BETWEEN YOUR OWN LINE/S & WORDS.

QUOTE: SHE SAID; I LOVE YOU BUT ITS GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. A FEW YEARS LATER SHE PROPOSED. THAT WAS OVER FIFTY YEARS AGO. SHE'S STILL SINGLE. PLEASE SOMEONE EXPLAIN.
UNQUOTE:

Now !!!.." SHE SAID; I LOVE YOU BUT ITS GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. "

That's not a puzzle for me but an answer..
SIMPLE, STRAIGHT and DIRECTED TO YOU.


So, you got your mystery or problem solved long ago.

Either she had her own personal or family problems
or she was lasting for someone else, or whatever.


QUOTE:
" A FEW YEARS LATER SHE PROPOSED. THAT WAS OVER FIFTY YEARS AGO. "
UNQUOTE:

AGAIN, after she made her mind up few years later, or fixed some of her problems, SHE PROPOSED...But unfortunately, it was too late.

SURE IT WAS..No one waits for someone else to make up his/her mind in few years time when LOVE WAS THE GAME WINNER between the two.
That tells you clearly, YOU SHOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT ANYMORE.

WHY STILL REMINISCING ABOUT IT after 50 years ??

Perhaps I READ IT WRONG ??

Yeah Funzy, I got the same impression but just recently I met a couple that were in their 70s and were getting married. While talking to them about it I found out they were in high school together and had a crush on each other but never did anything about it. They both looked very happy right now and I assumed this might be a similar thing. They did get married and as far as I know they are still very happy with their decision.

If the OP is still thinking about her, there was obviously something there. What could it hurt to see if she has had a change of heart?

************************************

I think I understand the high-school sweethearts walking apart each on his/her way, then, 30 or 40 years later getting together again.
It is very common these days in every country, cultures, religions or customs.

SURE, the story of the OP is or may seem a bit mysterious, interesting and
intrigued, that kind of, COULD BE SOLVED, UNDERSTOOD and/or CLARIFIED LONG TIME AGO.

Anyway, they say ..THERE IS A STORY FOR EVERYONE.

And I HAVE ONE TO TELL IT ALSO...( About similar problem/s, misunderstanding/s or mistake/s )

Perhaps this may help...

The past is the past and no matter how much we want we can never change it.
If we live in the present and not worry of the future our happiness can be measured in a lifetime.

All the immutable past made us who we are today and we are not the same as we were then,
Live in today and use the past to make every moment special.

Reason for edit: Enterd a line break for effect

*****************************************

SURE...That's ME IN THE NOW & TODAY ...
Have done it for long time now.

Past is history, I HAVE NO REGRETS...
Nice history, but still history.

It's too much, leocreare. You're almost 90 and a lot I don't understand. Sorry, I don't follow it.