hey everyone,
I have 3 boys ages 16,15 and 5 and never did I have this issue with my two older boys-
Jake is 5 and in kindergarten and seems pretty well adjusted except that he poops his pants still- he does not do this for anyone but his father and I and Grandma that did his daycare- not in school ever and just with us- if he knows he is going to get a new toy or a treat he does well for say like 3 days and then does it again.
I am at the point where I am thinking we need professional help on this- but I will see if anyone here has ever had this issue also-
His Father and I divorced when he was just over 1 but we get along well and share custody of him-
He really has no excuse for it- his Dad was spanking him for it but i have stopped this as it did not seem to do anything but escalate the issue-

Please help....

Does he get a lot of attention for doing it? My friend's kid pooped his pants because it was sure to make her talk to her ex-husband(his dad) and then they both gave him a lot of attention for it. I would try making a huge deal out of him every time he doesn't and just ignore the times he does. If you just clean it up without a huge fuss he may just stop.

I agree. I think it's attention seeking. Just try and give him more attention for the "good things". Good luck!

speak to him as though he can understand an adult concept and in words he can understand. Then wait for the answer. The child may need to think on it. The answer may be in the change of behaviour without words. In which case, problem solved.

I've always talked to my children as if they understand straight talk and adult concepts. If they have questions, they're usuallyy voiced at some point, but the topics always show through behaviour that they understand. Sometimes emotions need to be validated, and then tenderly acknowledged.

He probally doesn't poop his pants at school because of peer pressure.Who wants to be known as a poopoo pants?
My son did the same thing until he was almost five and finally I got mad and made him clean the mess.I have been poop free ever since .Good luck.sounds like a laziness issue not a mental one.

Does he get rewards for doing a good job? Go to the store and let him pick out the stickers that he likes. Tape a large piece of paper onto the door. Everytime he does a "good job",
he gets to put a sticker on the paper. Just an idea.

1. One proactive thing to do is monitor when he should go and request that he use the bathroom every hour.

2. Proactively thank him before he even uses the bathroom. "Johnny, thanks for using the bathroom today." It leaves him with a sense of accomplishment that hasn't even happened yet...... but then when he does use the bathroom he'll automatically relate to what you proactively said.

The key is proactive and the work you do may take up to 6 months for him to get through the issue but likely you'll see results in a couple of weeks.

John, Former Behaviorist if you still have issues after these two suggestions. Good Luck.

I thank you all for your advice - I read all these to his father and we are going to really try a new approach..

Thanks ---

In the over all rehlm of things, I don't think its a big deal. My son did it too. It could be the divorce or an attention thing. When he is good just praise him greatly and remember he will not be doing it at 15. Remember they are way smarter and more sensitive than we think. Good luck, love goes a long way!

thanks - I am trying soooo hard to be a good patient mommy here but tonight I was like why why why.. he cries when you even ask if he did it and runs.. however, he really wants me to change him not dad- this makes me worry that daddy has been ruthless about this-

I am glad I posted this- it's been tough and I wasn't sure I wanted to go there with strangers but I am getting good advice here and great support...

you COULD do what I did with my kids and it worked like a DREAM i'm not kidding you. Problem is...you'd have to live in Ohio. Here's what I did. I drained our toilet and painted a University of Michigan "M" on the bottom of it. Both my son and daughter started immediately going because i would remind them that the more they went in the toilet, the more the "M" would start disappearing.

I guess there is ONE good use for the state.

I havde an adult friend that still poops in his pants ...

My girls never did this but a good friend of mine had the same issue and she made him rinse out his undies and clean up the mess (of course disinfect well afterwards) It seemed to come to a pretty quick stop after that.....

does he have any symptoms of lower back issues

loss of control is a symptom

that yer supposed to go to e r for

if diagnosed with back issues

just somethin to watch for

good luck hope ya figure it out

Ahhh, Scream, I feel for you. My girlfriend's stepson had the problem.

FIRST! Get to the pediatrician. It could be something physical. You need to rule out.

Then go from there.

Hugs, M

Just remember that sometimes kids can't put into words what's bothering them. Your ex and you can get along great but that doesn't mean your child's not affected by the split. There's a great children's book called Everybody Poops. My son thought it was great. His problem ended soon after we got that book. Good luck.

still reading these and last night he did it again and I did not make a huge fuss just cleaned it up and that was that-

I am gonna look into the book also-

we have been to the doc and it's not physical but thanks... I was worried about that also-

unless they did a mri of his back they are guessing

you can not see clearly the back damage without one

i hope it is not a physical problem and he out grows it

maybe try giving him more positive attention

by playing more and helping with developing a hobby

but hey what do i know

Is your son ADHD?? Sometimes kids that are hyperactive don't want to take time out to go to the bathroom. I really think you need to talk to your family doctor about this, he will tell you what to do.
Good luck