Aaaaawwww.

The OP deactivated.

He seemed like a very sweet guy.

Hopefully when he gets some distance from the incident with his friend, he will figure out a happy medium to his approach.

None of us are experts after all . We are all still trying to figure this love thingy out.

He most certainly appeared to be. He told me that he wasn't going to find what he was looking for in the forums and elsewhere here. I totally understood that. He wanted mature dialog and he felt ppl were passing judgment based on their own past emotional pain and issues.

He will be fine I believe. If anything, he knows what not to do and with who in the future.

Hey Destiny

There will always be a fine line between sharing one's passionate opinion and being judgmental.

Most of the comnents I read here were not insulting towards him, in my opinion.

They were just probably not what he wanted or needed to hear.

He is hurting and his wounds are still raw. Thats totally understandable.

And if you are in that state , social media is not always the best place for you to find solace . You are going to be faced with the good, the bad and the ugly here.

Very sweet guy. Hope he finds what he is looking for .

anytime I do mean anytime you decide to post a thread on a public forum
you cannot control the direction it will go

if you are looking for validation but receive criticism instead
that is the chance you take

Well, wait a minute, lets not get ahead of ourselves here.


yeah, a lot of us, certainly including me, have things we've been through which have left emotional scars, or led to our being wary of fully opening up to others in certain ways.

But your description of this particular situation is a bit different from the usual, and I think that needs to be examined a bit.

This is someone who you say that you HAVEN'T SEEN FOR YEARS.

Yet you treated her through out this very long "first meet in years," as though you were a long standing married couple who were having a vacation day together.

Most "first meets" of old friends do NOT include picnics in the wilds, followed by home cooked meals, bathing them, and then sleeping together with or without sex. All that would constitute over-the-top, potentially frightening behavior. At least disconcerting, since the behavior does NOT match the idea of "old online friends getting together after years elsewhere."

In short, I think that she has a lot more to ponder than whether or not you are "more of a gentleman than she's dealt with before."

I'd love to have a relationship with a woman where we acted exactly like that, on occasion, too.

However, if a long time friend went in ONE meet, directly from "hey how have things been for you for the last few years we've been apart," to "let me feed you in the middle of nowhere, run you ragged on a hike, take you home and feed you again, then BATHE you and bed you down while I nuzzle with you," I can tell you I would be VERY nervous.

I have a friend that I have known for several years. We met online and had a date at first. It became more of a friendship than anything else over time.

About a month ago we agreed to meet again for the first time in years. And explore the possibility of moving beyond friendship. So I picked her up and we spent the day together. I wanted to make it special for her so I packed a picnic. Drove to some mountain trails. Spent the day outdoors. Later, I cooked her a steak dinner. After that I ran her a hot bath because she said she loved bubble baths. We then slept together (no sex) because I really wanted to get to know her again. When she left in the morning I gave her a tap on the mouth and she was off. I did not hear from her for days.

As a matter of fact, she stood me up the following weekend. When we did finally talk, she admitted to me that I was a perfect gentleman. The picnic. The dinner. The bath. She had the greatest time. Nobody ever treated her with that kind of respect. Nobody had ever done that for her before...and she could not handle it.

For all the talk I hear on this forum from women, wanting "A real man"...."No games"..."No drama", etc. It is my guess that most women today could not handle a situation like this as well. Keep in mind, this was not our first meeting. We were friends for almost eight years. The friendship was well established.

After explaining herself, she wanted to see me again but I declined. Not because I faulted her for having issues, we all do. But for not calling me sooner and talking to me. Being open and honest with a little urgency. Like real friends who care do.

I would not expect or want my guy friends to do more...especially if i already put them in the friend zone...it would worry me as to, what his actual intentions are. Unless you come right off the bat and tell me what you want, then itd be a diff story.

Dont stop being her friend.