It's not love, or even lust, that causes people problems in their lives.

It's what they choose to do about it that makes the messes.

Although I have been terribly unlucky in certain ways, leading to my current circumstances, I was also very fortunate in a few others. One of those, was that I recognized a long while back, that I can feel intense love, deep lust, extreme affection, and nearly palpable attraction to people, WITHOUT having to act on it in any way at all.

The only difference between having a crush on a movie star, and having a crush on a neighbor, is the neighbor is physically accessible. Most people recognize that a crush on a famous person is just something to enjoy while it lasts, as a sort of self-drugging experience, but a terrible lot of people don't recognize that that's just as true when the crush is on someone nearby.

So people end up having affairs, destroying marriages, or just marrying someone who is rather obviously bad for them or just incompatible, and are mystified as to why True Love "failed them" as it did.

Bottom line, it's not your carelessness with you heart which does you in, it's your mind deciding that thoughtlessness is to be admired, as being "magically romantic."

Religion and politics shows the exact same symptoms, by the way.

Boy am I ever! I am always careless with my heart ..I leave it lying around everywhere..lol..

People move for various reasons ; sometimes buying a home because living with family or in dorms, barracks, apartments is unbearable and often grab the first thing they qualify for. Or for some sappy reason pick the house from the curb because the looking is nerve wracking or because it is a sentimental or status decision. Vanity or desperation to just have housing gets many into trouble because they buy more than they can afford or where they can not stay long enough to have any equity.

I think this depends on the age and situation of the car owner. Maybe sex. Younger male drivers tend to be careless with cars they figure is insured and they are still moving up in their career financial status so they can catch up or just demand the car back from a female without a fight. Younger inexperienced people will loan a car but burned one time they tend to wise up fast unless they are just terminally stupid.

For myself I may give my heart very quickly but my major life decisions are not made by my heart and my brain has major over ride feature. I don't see that often in most people. When they are "in love" their brain seems to turn to mush.

In far too many cases it is the little brain that is in control. I have seen it time an again a good looking person who has NOTHING else going for them and they have some idiot head over heels in love (lust) regardless.

nope...I got layers...baby

and walls...big thick tall ones

Careless with my heart........YES...once upon a time. The younger ME..
Full of hopes and dreams.

The older ME...... Not any more. Just do not want to start all over again.

It is like building a wall around me and forgetting where I put the key.

I am more cautious. I do not fall in love easily. Neither do I fall out easily.

You raised some ideas that incite a hailstorm of thoughts and questions Igor

So many people talk about love as this OVERWHELMING dizzying feeling that shuts down our thinking facilities.

In fact some people even argue that , if your desire and ability to reason still exixts in the pink thick haze that we perceive as love, then it can't be love we are experiencing

Is it possible for love and reason to coexist? I have heard many people answer no.

Do we always need to act on the love we feel if reason dictates that it is not in our best interest or their best interest? Some argue that you are compromising your personal truth if you dont "follow your heart"

Should we consciously take time to get to know a person better before we let all our guards down just in case the person is not deserving of our heart , Some would argue that love is being in the moment , and being completely open to whatever comes.

Is it worthwhile being careless with your heart for all the valuable lessons that you gain in the learning curve as Romeo alluded to earlier.

Few people put reason, self control , caution or time delay in the same sentence as love. And yet they are fundamental principles in their own right.

What place do those principles hold in love/matters of the heart?

I am not that careless with my heart...in fact, I have been accused of being a totally heartless b*****d, but I am getting sloppy with my mind....in fact, in what I don't mind to...So if you don't mind, I gonna skip this thread now.....

Hate to tell ya D-one, but a sloppy mind is often a by-product of a wavering heart . You heard it hear first...

The people you describe are self-indulgent or irresponsible. It's fun to pretend that you can't hold back, because that way, you can enjoy yourself thoroughly, and refuse any and all blame for what would be the logical consequences.

I've known lots of greedy people, who pretended that they HAD to do whatever they did, and lots of manipulative people, who used the childhood wish for fairy tale love, to urge others to decide to "let themselves go," promising them that if they only do, they will find that "true love" in reality.

But in every case, there has been a real conscious decision on the part of the person who "falls," to do so.




There is no contradiction between reason and self control, and love. In fact, I would suggest rather firmly, that anyone who FAILS to retain reason and self control, after CLAIMING to love someone, is either lying about the love, or lying about the loss of control. The only way that anyone can REMAIN in a committed love relationship, is if they DO insist on being in control of themselves at all times.

Thus a commitment to self-indulgence about emotions and lusts, is entirely INcompatible with commitment to the concept of love.

As for the "caution or time delay" you mention, those are also not at all contradictions to real love, they are fundamental elements of it. But note, that they have to be MINDFUL elements of how you love. You can't just be waiting, OR leaping, because you have some magic belief that you don't even understand, that doing so will "make love happen."

if only that was true.....the heart is good for keeping the blood circulating in the alcoholic stream....but the mind....sloppy or not, is where the action is . A lady, and I use the term loosely, once said to me ....blow my mind and I am yours.....being young and foolish I just thought it was a weird way to ask for sex...lol...

I just want a boyfriend! Is that too much to ask???

Sorry if I caused you to misunderstand me. All I meant was we can give our hearts too freely and possibly be hurt. But we can give true friendships that can last forever

True believer....rush love with reckless abandonded