What I'm referring to is..
Does your partner have the right to check your phone messages?..
Does your partner have the right to know where you are every minute of the day..?
When you are on the phone is it okay for your partner to stand there listening to what you have to say?..

Now if you give them cause to be suspicious of you.. do they still have the right to invade your privacy..
Are does the right to your own privacy mean just that !no matter the circumstances..?...
Totally not about me!! Just a question..lol

Oh yeah and I'm not talking about privacy when you're in the bathroom..
That's just a given. Lol

Ops double click

Sure she can check my phone messages, texts.....and when Jake from State Farm calls she can talk dirty to him (cause she sounds so hideous it's sexy).

shouldn't have a reason to

hopefully you have mutual trust


now if one is checking up on the other
usually out of suspicion

Well, if you are moving in with someone, your trust level needs to be at least a 7. Checking your phone is a requisite. That's how you take it from a 7 to a 10. Should be mutual though. If she/he checks constantly, could be and indicator of trust issues or a guilty consience. That's what moving in is all about. Expanding the levels of trust. Como vives jusgas. How you live is how you judge.

Personally I have nothing to hide so I would toss him my cell phone and give him all the passwords he wanted.
As long as he ponied up his also..

But I would have to wonder what was going on. Since
I don't give a reason for him to suspect me.



I think would start looking at him a bit closer...

..yes.. and this is what I have a problem with.. I would not offer up my phone even if they wanted to give me their phone... my phone is my own private phone... I have nothing to hide but personally.. it's like reading someone's diary... you just don't do it..
You can sit beside me and I will show you what I'm doing at any particular moment... but if you go onto my phone without my knowledge.. well that's just creepy and wrong... and reeks of mistrust....

My experience with that has led me to conclude that if it reaches the point where someone is peering through my computer or checking my cell phone messages, it's time to call it quits.

It's not even a question of right-to-privacy for me.

This is how I see it: when someone decides that they should comb through your life in any way shape or form, in order to "correct" or check up on things, it can ONLY mean that they already don't think of you as an equal grown up human being.

They might think of you as an employee, or as a pet, or as a child, or as some sort of non-human possession, but for sure, they DON'T think of you as a fellow equal human being, who they love.

Since I want my mate to actually love me, both for, and in spite of, everything I am, I keep no secrets. But if they even THINK they have to spy, it means that it's over already.

I think it's also true, that if someone declares that they have to HAVE a right to privacy from me (other than things relating to personal sensitivity, like embarrassing bathroom stuff), that I would probably feel fenced off from them, and not be able to carry on any relationship much past that of a medium depth friend.

This is because the idea of having a right, means that they think of our relationship being under the guidance and rules of some outside authority, and not up to us. I have no interest in being a member of a very small club, which is what that kind of thinking means.

When I was with someone in the past, I HAD no passwords on my computer or my phone. Because I am an open book, if someone is officially my mate. But I would be bothered, if I found that they were secretly checking up on me. If they want to look, and they ask, I'll hand them my phone, like Rains said. But if they go behind my back, or sneak peaks in the middle of the night, I'll be VERY upset.

I agree I am not doing it. I have to be trusted and well that is vital and if I am not then I cant do it.

expect? or get?

this might actually be a touchy subject with me..


more I think about it
the more I realize that I am kinda strict on this policy

in fact, if someone felt the need to question
my motives or my actions

I would fling him to the curb

or walk

I am divided on this issue.

In a normal relationship where both parties have earned each others trust over time, a certain amount of privacy should be respected by both parties.

However if a person cheats on their mate, and the injured party gives the person another chance, then I personally think that the perpetrator should be willing to relinquish their rights to privacy until they earn the victiom's trust back. If they are not willing to do that, then its maybe better that the couple ends the relationnship for both of their sanity. Privacy after infidelity, would naturally be seen as a threat by any victim, and will only provoke demons of suspicion.

That being said, if the victim's trust level does not improve after 6 mths to a year of transparency, then one of the parties has to have the wisdom to end the relationship in my opinion

Yeah that's where I have a bit of a dilemma.... if you don't trust me !and want to see my phone.. sure I will show you my phone.... but on the other hand I don't want the person rifling through my phone or computer without myself being present... perhaps they do this while you're asleep.. or early in the morning before you wake up...
.. there are things on my computer or phone that have nothing to do with the other person.. conversations that are private between me and someone else.... for me it's not a matter of trust it's just a matter of respecting the other person's personal property

is Jake exist in real life..


anyway I give my man a privacy he can have, never ask never sneak around to check his phone,fb,emails and I stay away if his on the phone, that's why he never give me a reason to stalk.

.. I like the way you think..lol..

Humm , check my phone ~~~ ohhhh hell nooo and I would not check his unless he gave me a reason to do so.. got to have trust sounds a bit controlling..I don't check phones nor billfolds unless they give me a reason to do so. To me the only reason for me is if they are cheating.. Then bet your sweet azz I will check both..

I can see if your living with them to tell them where you are going out of respect. But to drill me about everything I'm doing or going naw. Again some control issues. If your going to be late getting home and you live with them let them know. If you live separate then heck no.....

If I'm on the phone heck I don't care who listens, nothing to hide.

As far as if your partner was cheating do you have the right to snoop. All I can say I believe in given full trust till it is broke. The cheating is where I say it's balls to the wall and I will do what I have to in order to find out the truth. But~~~ I assure you that when a partner is cheating there are signs. You have that gut feeling first...

haha if he give me a reason I can be the best FBI/ stalker he could have
after I did my job I could ditch him in a heartbeat :biggri

..hmmm.. but in my mind does one wrong.. ..ie )the other person giving you cause to suspect them..
Make it right for the other person to evade the other person's privacy..?..

It's like reading someone else's mail..