Why do people get offended after hearing the truth when they are the one who asked for it in the first place? Now I wonder if people tell lies just because they sound better....

Depends on if you sound like a cold ***** telling the "truth" Tons of people dont know how to tell it like it is with class..

Eh....lie to me....tell me how great I am to my face.....and then, when behind my back, talk about how much a piece o crap I was because I didn't put the toilet seat down.

I ask myself this also at times...but like Jack said in ,(A Few Good Men).
"YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!"
Such is the way it is with most. Oh well. Don't ask for the truth if you can't handle the brutal truth.

Why do people whine when they're offended because, they offended someone else by asking for and then getting the truth.

It's a complicated world innit.

:)

Perhaps that is where the phrase "be careful what you wish for" came from...
Honesty is always the best policy... In business/professional life as well as personal

Depends on how the truth is delivered...

The "truth" is always best policy...

Here is the difference in getting the same truth...


Babe, you look like a bag lady that hasn't changed her clothes in 2 weeks..Really look like Shyt.



Or

Babe, I know you like that outfit but it doesn't look the best on you... It hides your beautiful curves...


I believe in honesty I just don't believe in honesty being a weapon or an excuse to be rude or mean.

The world does not need hear what we think always and in everything a glass can be half full or empty it sad seemingly it hard to focus on the good . Some things have no real purpose than to hurt and are better left unsaid as there are positives to be found

I think if you are cruel to be funny or popular or just kick someone around because they are vulnerable enough to need and endorsement and ask for an opinion that is wrong.

But at some point if you put yourself out there and ask the "world" for and opinion you may not like the things you hear. Not everyone candy coats it is more compliments than truth. Sometimes the feed back can be pretty tough to hear. Especially when how we perceive ourselves is different from the person we are listen to.

If you take every remark as gospel; or especially pontificates on line, as expert advice then you probably want to rethink your sources. Especially if it is tearing down what you know to be true for you.

And how much information you give when you ask some one to judge you is significant. When you ask for their judgement; if it is superficial, or even inaccurate, it should not be surprising when the result is harsh, or unfair, or inappropriate.

I totally agree with you sitka.

Too many people use honesty in an abrasive way , then proceed to literally add insult to injury by condemning the person for taking offense at their brutal remark

Ironically the people who dish out .the harshest criticisms , are often the people who get the most offended when that blunt honesty is projected towards THEM.

I also truly believe that most people are incapable of handling blunt honesty even when they ask for it , as the OP rightly said .

Thank you Peggy...
I also agree most people can't handle "blunt" honesty and that is one of the reasons I refrain from giving it with no filters.. The other main reason is my "blunt" honesty may not be theirs. After all no one can really know what the other is thinking or their motives behind what they choose to do. So therefore I will never see all the angles etc... I will always try to be honest and tactful if at all possible.


As with my previous answer... if I had answered with the later and was still pushed I might eventually say...
Well because you look like crap...but hey if that was the look you were striving for go for it by all means.

Yeah.

Sometimes when the tact is not getting the results needed, we are forced to be blunt, I prefer to use it as a last resort when all else has failed :)

The only time relationships are complicated is when you know what's going to happen but you don't want it to.

What's "complicated" are the efforts of manipulation and rationalizing to try and get what you want without any consequence.


1. Because they didn't want the truth, they were simply giving you the opportunity to show them you know what they "really" want, and for you to give it to them.

2. Because there is no truth. There are facts, and narratives that weave facts together. People believe the narrative they weave with facts is "truth," because emotionally they feel it is "truth," because it feels "right," and "right" feels "good," and in the christian based utilitarian empire if something feels "good" then it must be "true."
If "true" makes you feel "good" then anything you don't want to be "true," no matter how "true" it actually is from an objective standpoint, people are simply trained to respond negatively to it, to feel "wrong" and "bad."
When people feel "wrong" and "bad" they lash out or run away.

3. What is said and what is heard can be several different things.
You may want to emphasize the point you're trying to make, the pedantic meaning of the words, they may only be hearing the indirect communication of tone and body language.
If you highlight your words with expressions that emphasize your intent, it makes the words worse.
If you try to communicate nothing via body language, tone, or expression, it makes things worse because people get their cues on how to react and what things mean by reading body language.

4. They had crap parents, or they're highly attractive, or they're rich, or society failed them, they've never heard "no" or anything that wasn't just "let's see how we can accommodate you, and lead you in a way you're comfortable with," and when you don't learn how to handle "no," you simply never learn that a temper tantrum isn't helpful.

Pick one of those reasons.
Or more.
There are TONS.


Of course they do.
They sound better and they get people what they want.
They tell lies so they don't have any emotional blowback which then causes them to go to internet forums and ask rhetorical questions as a means of venting their own inability at emotional self control.


There's the problem, though.
"Rude" or "mean" are extremely subjective.
People are raised differently.
What one considers "rude" another may not even notice as anything but normal behavior.

Not to mention, most of the time "rude" or "mean" is the only way to get a point across, to get someone to listen.
Would you prefer teachers to stop class, and spend 10 minutes talking to Timmy about all the reasons he should stop disrupting class, maybe take him on a field trip to really show him all the wonders of education, or just yell "Timmy! Shut up, pay attention, or I'm calling your parents!"

There are people out there raised by abusive parents.
They can't even recognize that they've done anything wrong until you start hitting them.
That's the cue that tells them to start thinking.

Sometimes people don't know anything is wrong until they start feeling consequences.
"Rude" and "mean" are means of communicating consequences, and potential consequences, for not starting to think.


And then they could easily say "so...you were lying!" and then break up with you because you were a liar.

Then they'd come onto the forums and start a thread asking "why are women all liars! Why don't they really say what they think?! Why all the games?!?!?!"

the truth is the truth... it's your problem if you can't take it...

Yeah ... So if you'd walk into a motor club and tell them they're a bunch of drugs- and weapons dealing low life criminals and thieves ... and they don't seem to handle that well, even thought it might be the truth, it's their problem?

lol.. and just why would i want to do that?

This I would like to see :-)
We're right behind you Moe, no, don't look..

* Blow-back sucks .But-but-but it is the "truth"

Death wish perhaps?