This topic is a spinoff of the thread on second chances.

Are there offenses committed in a relationship or in society that you will NEVER forgive irregardless of the person or circumstance?

3- F's

Forgiveness & Forgetting & being a Fool all different things.

Even the predators still can't solving such kind of mess isn't it? XD I don't think those rabbit chaser knew it....

Cruelty towards kids or elderly people. I dont think I could tolerate people like that under any circumstances

in both relationship and society , any stupidity committed by ignorant and justified on social or religious bases ,ie:sexism , sectarian violence , violence against animals .... etc

sure are op ... not figured out yet how to forgive ...
becouse sometimes my subconscious won't let me ... but I know it is better for me if I do ... becouse its only hurting myself ...

I don't believe in not forgiving ...
Doing so, is only holding on to negative feelings and resistance which only works against you.

Too many unforgiving, bitter people on this planet as it is. Love is the only way...

One of the most beautiful things I've ever seen, and therefore have never forgotten, was an elderly couple who's daughter had been murdered. They got in touch with the murderer, because they wanted to see him, talk to him, understand him. And they truly forgave him. All three were in tears... the murderer had so much regret about what he'd done...
And sure it doesn't bring the girl back, but neither would holding on to bitterness and hatred...
At least the parents now found peace with what had happened and could remember their daughter in love, not tainted by hate.
And I think that girl was smiling down from heaven upon all three.

I am forgiving of most things. People tell me I am too forgiving in fact, but I just cant tolerate offenses against the defenseless. I don't think about it throughout the day but when I see it in the news , I get really angry. Just being honest..

ya....best keep your d*ck zipped

unless I am the one doing the unzipping

be nice to your mama

and your kids

Forgiving is a fascinating thing to me. I've studied it for a long time now.

I don't think most people really know what it is. At least, not the forgiveness that I've ever seen or experienced.

It's not a simple matter of SAYING "I forgive you." Lots of people do that, but then torture the person they supposedly "forgave" forever afterward.

In this case especially, I know that it's not up to me to decide what I can or can't forgive. I know that I'll eventually reach a point where I'm not violently angry at the person anymore, but that's not forgiving.

Real forgiving, requires that I learn something that results in my essentially agreeing with them for what they did. Understanding it that thoroughly. And that's not something I can CHOOSE to do either.

In relationships, I've learned, for example, that I never forgive cheating. Some kinds of lying, yes, because I've been through plenty of situations where I loved the other person, and lied to them for reasons which made sense at the time. But I have been through 62 years of life, and never even came close to finding a reason to cheat, which was compatible with loving the person being cheated on.

Physically hurting people is potentially forgivable. It depends on who, and under what circumstances. Again, I don't decide such things, I have to deal with each circumstance, and find out if it's within my undertsanding or not.

Burning my toast. I can forgive lying, cheating, stealing....but to burn my toast is unforgiveable.

Burn my toast, lying cheating and stealing? That's why I gave wife #1 her walking papers. I don't cheat, you don't cheat....

touching my tools

Peggy forgive me a bit if I slant this to far.
I will always forgive someone for anything.
In saying that, I won't tolerate or be around someone for a few things.


If they are abusive Nah I am going to find new pastures to play in


If they cheat on me, then I am not the person for them and time to find a new playground to play in.

I have found through all my years that I forgive someone not for them but for myself.

My EX husband was an abusive ***.. I forgave which took a long time and I did it not for him but for me. I realized when I did he had no power over me period. I go years without thinking of him.

Now when I think of him it is with sadness of someone that I thought I knew and realized I didn't. I actually pity him no anger involved.

So nah I don't hold grudges, I don't hold onto anger sometimes I wish I get stay angry longer dang it.

TMommy has already touched on that one.
Sorry !,I misunderstood.I was never that attached to my hammer and chisels.

this , exactly

there is nothing that is unforgivable for me, though some may take a bit longer than others

and forgiveness is not forgetfulness

I had a friend who was a liar, she told many lies, I forgave her for lying, but that doesn't mean I didn't learn not to believe her when she spoke,,,

.. leaving big gobs of toothpaste in the sink... unforgivable..lol

Breast reduction....NOooooo.....unforgivable
I love the way you look

I admire you both greatly for the stance that you have taken.

In general, I am a big believer in forgiveness and second chances ,and am generous in giving them both because I am always aware that I am flawed myself .

I also believe in forgiveness COMBINED WITH WISDOM , with regard to working with and around a person's shortcomings so as to take yourselves out of harm"s way, as you did with your dishonest friend MsHarmony and sitka did with her ex.

This thread has caused me to question why I am so forgiving of so many offenses but not forgiving of cruelty to children.

In searching myself, I think I have a very pre- conceived notion of a recurring child abuser. I think somewhere in my heart I believe that a recurring child abuser , if given the chance will persist with the behaviour unless physically stopped.

I have no kids of my own but I think about if these victims were my kids , how I would feel if my kid was raped or injured by one of these predators, and the idea of them doing it repeatedly to my kid .And my visceral response to that thought is resentment.

That being said, I wouldnt want them deprived of basics like food , clothing and shelter , but I do not wish the best for them in life as I do for people who have committed other offenses, and I have no desire to interact with them. I am freaked out by the idea of being in the presence of what I perceive to be EVIL.

I am in no way boasting about my perceptions or reactions. I am just honest about them. Maybe I may meet one child abuser in the future who challenges my thinking and inspires me to change. I am open to that posibility at least. Time will tell :)