I met my ex when he was real young and I already had three young kids,
I was getting out of a mess and this man gave me time to get on my feet again and I made it clear I wasn't looking for a new father for them,
It did drive him nuts but I took the responsibility of being the bad guy, the disciplinarian, I felt they were my Responsibility
they treated him with respect, and loved him as their step dad which many step families don't have that and He never got the YOUR NOT MY DAD speech from any of them. they are grown now and live their own lives now
he does have his regrets on some ways, I handled it with my kids but he understands that I wasn't going to make him feel burdened like that
Now like I told my Ex if and when I get with someone else it will be my job to be the bad guy when it comes to our son and I will handle it that way in this situation.

I hear ya on that fresh

Deana that was really exceptional of you. My wife didn't do quite as well, I had to take on some of the disciplinary role but I managed. When she passed away the kids choose to stay with me so I guess I did something right in there.

uhhhhhhh 5 kids.........5 diff fathers......ummmmmmm stay away!!!!

if you like the kid(s), it's a no brainer

the whole "I'm not your Dad" thing doesn't bother me...I'm not trying to be a dad at the moment.

The girl seemed genuine, and didn't keep the kids a secret.

But, I am hearing what a lot of you are saying...and it's probably better that I don't get involved.

Wow, that is tough on all grounds. I can't imagine having that many kids. Then again, I only have one on purpose.

Have dated people with kids and without kids. Since I have a little boy, it is easier to date people with kids since they tend to understand it better. Scheduling can be difficult since you don't want to bring the little ones around until you are sure of something being there (even if it just a good friendship).

Go with your heart, but listen to your head.

Hugs, M

I agree with you zero...RED FLAGS!...if she said she didn't know then there is your answer....I would say you just past the finish line. There are others.

dude, two words: HAUL ASS

Yeah, there are a lot of red flags there. I mean, I'm a single mother (I'm only 21) of two kids, but they've got the same father, who I was with for 4 years, so it's a little different.

I would definately use protection always, because 1) you KNOW she's fertile and 2) if she's been with that many guys unprotectedly, she could have a disease. You can never be too careful.

Listen to my heart, but use my head was a good one.

So, that in MIND, I'm just going to forget about it...

i have four kids...by three different men. from fifteen down to four...the youngest two have the same father. my youngest was a complete surprise from a man who was supposed to be fixed.

of course, i don't date. as in...ever. if i did, it'd be at least six months before i would allow someone to even MEET my kids...and a HUGE step before he could be considered "involved" in their lives.

"THAT many guys"? five? is five really that many? i mean...last time i checked, they still did STD testing when you went in for prenatal care...she might be the cleanest person you DO know.

just the fact that you would consider five kids...is kind of cool. why not just take it a day at a time? why have to have a plan?

damn i love a hose bag, 5 kids, 5 different fathers, in how many years???? she dont care! in how many years! that explains a lot. if i need to do a std test .I sure as hell do not want to date your sorry azz. get real!!

Hop on your bike and ride far far away!!!

5 kids with 5 different fathers at that age would raise some eyebrows with me.

I think its kind of rude to call that lady a "hose bag" ..no one here really knows what her life has been like. Who are we to judge anyone?
I think you are going to have to listen to your head and your heart on this one. I don't think you should judge her on this one BECAUSE she was honest with you about everything.
Good luck

I just jumped into thie thread.....but here's a question for you guys......whats so bad about dating a woman who has a child?

well this is my opinion from an old lady. u never know what kind of hell this woman has been through with 5 kids. she might need a man that is willing to take them on, and chances are those kids are looking for some love from one man that will stay with them,& love all of them for the good, and bad they have had to endure.
maybe this man has it in his heart to take on this task of l oving a woman with children which very few men will do these day.
so there. you asked, and i replied.

25 yrs old?

(5 kids....
5 different fathers?)
Those FIVE words have been posted several times now....

Run, leave skid marks, before she does, and there's a sixth.

wow kids I have 2 and thats a handful but I dont think this should be a question as whether you date her or, I mean your dating not getting married. More important is getting to know her and if it turns out to be love everything will fall into place