So ladies tell us guys....
What do you really want from us! for Valentine's Day...
Is it really all about the chocolate , the flowers the sticky sweet card. From Hallmark..the romantic fancy dinner.....??..
And where do us men fit into Valentine's Day?.
Where is our box of chocolates?
Where is our Hallmark card or bouquet of flowers...hmmmm?..
Why does Valentine's Day always
Seem.. to revolve around what us men are going to do for you women...hmmm...
. Sure sure you're going to go get some new lingerie for that evening right...hmmmm.. predictable..lol.wink

Anything loaded with big fat diamonds!!!

For me it's about spending time with each other.
If you want to be together the only thing that will strengthen your relationship is time doing things together.
It's not a one day thing its everyday

Money in this sense is nothing.
Chocolates make you fat
Flowers die
Undergarments can cause great distress
A meal can be just as romantic (or naughty) at home when you both cook.

A card can reveal what that other person is feeling but they can't find the words themselves to say.

Ok I sound cheap but to me it's the person himself not what's in his wallet.

How so? just curious

Hmmm I wish I have a good men to exchange some of the things you mention, I love roses but a nice candle light dinner doesn't sound bad idea

Ok I am thinking.
It can get tangled and cause injury or it can cause a guy to get so over heated he explodes and baby pops out 9 months later.

I was thinking of a way to explain it in a way that is appropriate for the net.

I guess it depends on the women you pick but the special person in my life is always treated in a way that makes them feel very special on Valentines. It is rarely cliché stuff but yea some sexy surprises if the relationship warranted it.

When I was married even more so. The kids knew that was Dad and Mom's special day and they were probably going to a sleep over or having a sitter in for the weekend since we would have "plans" some place grown up.

I don't know too many guys that are all that into chocolates and flowers but there are definitely ways to make them feel like they are the center of the universe. Definitely knock myself out to do the whole girly romance thing at the end of the evening but each year I tried to make it as much of a fun surprise as I got.

One year I rented a vintage corvette and packed a picnic for a drive down the coast because "we" were having such nice weather and my then interest was a car buff. I have bought sports tickets and gym/spa days for guys I date.

What would wow me is always going to be more about the time and personal effort rather than being all that flashy. I do not like cut flowers and chocolates but a guy who cooks or has something special set up for us away from the crowd that is really nice. I am sentimental and if he does make and effort to do something we have enjoyed in earlier dates or wears something I have mention I like that makes me feel special. Guy I am dating currently just had Home Depot deliver a dozen small bags of garden dirt (I am a avid gardener) and he is going to be a very happy camper this weekend. lol

I definitely don't go for it being all about what a guy is suppose to do but more mutual gestures.

Valentine's day is not just about flowers, chocolates, cards or a dinner....all the material things given are irrelevant, it's the thought that counts remembering the special day of the love you have shared with each other, showing your appreciation for the presence of that particular person in your life filling your heart with love and joy. Showing simple acts of affection is enough to make someone feel loved and special.......hmmmnnnn......a hug, kiss and your presence (physically, mentally or spiritually), being together in the celebration of your love is all that matters. And it's not just this particular day that you celebrate and show your love but it should be everyday, a lifetime celebration of a beautiful gift of love.

Well said, Its been a long time...but its all coming back to me now

Yes.. all very good points... ..
But yes! you spend the whole year making your partner ,your lover feel special... you let them know you love them daily... now here comes Valentine's Day... and I guess a large part of the anxiety comes from the media... the way they play up the importance. . Of Valentine's Day.. like somehow if we don't do something extra special on that day... we are somehow not worthy..lol.. we don't care enough... like if you come home and don't find a giant bouquet of roses on the table we have let you down..some how.. now I can understand how if some couples don't share their feelings throughout the year.. Valentine's Day can be a good opportunity for them to do this share their feelings....
But my God !!for those of us that do share our feelings with our partner daily... Valentine's Day just seems like a slap in the face to me...lol.. now I have to go out ..go out of my way.. to prove to you! to show you! that I do care and love you... stand in the doorway when you get home! holding out a bouquet of roses and a sticky sweet card.. that I went during lunch time to get...the flowers... I went to the flower shop. But when I realized how much roses were going to cost..omg.. $60 are you crazy...no.no.. so now I had to run all the way to Costco to get a $19.99 special bouquet of flowers they are very nice....though.. not to mention waiting in the very long line up to pay for the flowers.. then to Hallmark to find the sticky sweet card...wtf.. $8.90 for a card...no.no.. quick!! where is the nearest dollar store...lol.meanwhile in the kitchen my fancy romantic dinner.. that I am preparing for us is burning.... I made a bubble bath for the two of us candle lit.. but I didn't have time after work to pick up candles or bubble ..bath..lol.. ok! I had time I was at the dollar store ...but I completely forgot.. I was still razzled about how much hallmark was going to charge me for A sticky sweet card... and the fact that my lunch hour is disappearing and I have not even eaten yet..lol
So now I'm using birthday candles .. to set the ambiance.. and I've used dish soap as a replacement for bubble bath... orange scented dish soap..lol.. all of this just so I can say on this day Valentine's Day ..I love you..wink

On Valentines, he will be cleaning the bathroom.
So, I get everything I want :-)

Yea you are right it is expensive if you do not plan ahead. Hmmmm bubble bath sounds good. But yea I would rather not just be once a year grand gesture but the surprise I am not expecting.

And really guys if it is early in the relationship don't make some over the top promise because then we think you are desperate or that you give every current Miss Right Now flowers and or you bought the chocolates at Costco for several.

Tradition.


Depends.
Some people buy all that stuff so they don't have to communicate.
Other people buy all that stuff as a representation of their feelings, more tangible than words, to help them communicate.

So

Most likely unambiguous communication of the level of relationship bonding.
Which is generally facilitated by ritualistically presenting physical objects of value.


Intentions never matter as much as results.
Results with tangible benefits will always matter more than vague ideas.


Simple acts of affection aren't special.
The only people that are going to feel loved and "special" from simple acts of affection are those that never receive any acts of affection.


Then that detracts from the rest of their life, or it just becomes meaningless.
You tell me what makes you feel more special.
The first time someone you're dating says "I love you?"
Or when your mom is saying goodbye on the phone "Okay, love you, bye."

I would be perfectly happy with that, too.

I agree with you that Valentine's day is a tradition but then it does not focus only to what men are going to do to women...it's a celebration of love being shared to all the people who means so much to us and the people who have touched our hearts and life in a meaningful way, could be family, friends or special someone.

Yes it depends on every individual preferences on how they communicate or express their thoughts and feelings of love. And most of the time material things are used as a representation of feelings. But some people don't care about that stuffs rather with the intentions or the thoughts and sincerity in the act of giving.

Purity of intentions will always satisfy a heart that longs for true and sincere love and affection. And remember that the most beautiful and satisfying thing that fills one's heart with happiness is intangible called love

Showing affection doesn't need to be grand or expensive or extraordinary, simple acts of a heartfelt and sincere giving of love means the whole world to some people who doesn't value material things, for those who can't afford what will they give but only a simple thoughts of love with a special meaning because it comes from the heart. Poor people don't have money to buy things, but they can afford to give simple acts of affection

Valentine's day is only a celebration of remembering the love shared but the act of giving love is a lifetime celebration which you constantly show to a special person in your life. That's special love.

A date saying " I love you" and a mom saying "okay, love you , bye" could both make you feel special depending on how the intentions are being expressed, is it heartfelt or not. The love itself is a special thing and as a receiver of one's affection, that makes you more special

ADVANCE HAPPY VALENTINE'S EVERYONE!!!

Amen, sista :-)

I agree with you! But is kind of hard when you don't have the nice friend/partner/spouse etc to enjoy it.

At this moment at don't really care about having anything just someone nice to share my free time. Happy Valentine's Day!

WOW ..if cleaning the bathroom is the highlight of your romance that doesn't say much about the relationship...just saying

Well the expression of love which means most to me is quality time which for ME , is time to connect with my mate in a non- sexual , yet intimate way. I personally would be quite happy if my guy took me for a long scenic drive while we talked and joked. Or spend some time on the beach together (.I live on an island so its feasible. ) or even us giving each other long massages and soaking in a warm bubble bath together. The rose petals, candles and romantic music definitely makes the occasion a hundred times more special, but I dont demand it. I have never given a boyfriend a present for valentines because I never expect or demand valentine gifts for myself. I don"t need the flowers or the chocolates.I just want my partner and I to enjoy each other's company in a relaxed, uninterrupted and intimate way . After that non sexual intimacy , the primal and deafening passion that follows is just a natural consequence of all that yummy foreplay

a love letter made with your own little hands
a dinner cooked with love
a nice glass of wine
good conversation
a back rub
a body rub
loving til the morning light or til ya pass out and snore...