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| Topic: Men: What do we need them for? | |
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Edited by
Unknow
on
Mon 01/18/16 11:24 AM
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So we all know that gender roles have evolved considerably. In years past, a man"s value in the home/relationship was rooted in his pedominant role as financial provider, physical protector, decision maker and child disciplinarian. With some of those roles having been usurped by women over time, I ask....
1. What INVALUABLE qualities / services APART FROM SEX and the procreation process, do men have to offer in a relationship /home? 2. In the absence of being the main financial provider, what service do you bring as a man to your home/relationship that makes you feel MOST proud or validated as a man? |
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I'll just stay in the corner and watch while others answer the inquiry.
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Edited by
Unknow
on
Mon 01/18/16 12:12 PM
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I'll just stay in the corner and watch while others answer the inquiry.
Aaaaawww... Why won't you answer David? I would love to hear your opinion on this 
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So we all know that gender roles have evolved considerably
If we all really knew that, there'd be no purpose to asking the title question. Men: What do we need them for?
At this point every human being as an individual is completely superfluous, in and of themselves. There are plenty of people, and we've pretty much technologied our way into requiring overspecialization. Do you know how to build a nuclear reactor? How about a flashlight? Do you know how to make an oven? Can you build a power grid from the nuclear plant, or windmill, or gas/coal generator to heat an oven to cook your food? Do you know the proper depth to plant a kernel of corn and the best time of year to do so for optimum crop yield? How do you cure a sick cow? Do you know what rabbit starvation is? Did you look any of this up via google? Do you know how to make google? No one human being possesses a fraction of the knowledge necessary to maintain the current lifestyle, technology, or civilization currently enjoyed by western societies. Other than that, this question is no different than asking "Black/white/asian/latino/indian/tall/fat/old people: What do we need them for?" or "Women: What do we need them for?" or "Kids: What do we need them for?" No individual, or individual group is really "necessary or needed" since you threw the caveat "APART FROM SEX and the procreation process" out there. What INVALUABLE qualities / services APART FROM SEX and the procreation process, do men have to offer in a relationship /home?
No one is invaluable. If anyone were invaluable, single parents wouldn't exist. Men are single parents. Women are single parents. Sometimes kids don't even really have parents, they're raised by the state child welfare system. Parent's don't offer "invaluable" qualities. Other than that you might want to look up the definition of "relationship." Implied in your question is an idea that there is a "relationship" and then people live up to it. "Relationship" is just a shortcut term to define how things are interacting. One magnet attracts another, there is a relationship. Water wears down a mountain, there is a relationship. I fart in a ziploc bag, there is a relationship between me and a plastic bag. "Relationship" is a reactive term, not a proactive ideal. When you have a preconceived idea of a relationship, how it "should" be, and how someone better have "invaluable skills" in order to start a relationship, you will eventually find no one ever possesses those skills. That's okay. People have a built in settling process. Loneliness, frustration, annoyance, anger, self abuse and sabotage. Cries for help to try and start a "relationship" (interaction) with someone, anyone, and once you start the interaction, then you have a "relationship." There are no "invaluable qualities." There are only qualities that individuals possess. And you either value those in the individual, or don't. There are no qualities that are absolutely positive nor absolutely negative. Everything, every quality, will have positive and negative consequences in their application. So. Men: What do we need them for?
1. Nothing more or less than we need anyone, group or individual, for. 2. Who's "we?" Are you referring to women? To society? To culture? To your city? Your nation? Globally? Are you referring to life in general? "Hey, earth, what do we need humans for?" what service do you bring as a man to your home/relationship that makes you feel MOST proud or validated as a man?
The definition of "service" (outside of mating) is doing something for another person, helping them, providing something for them. I don't bring services to a relationship. I communicate. As an individual, in the way I communicate, they may perceive it as "service" and value it, thereby communicating in reciprocal ways that I may perceive as "service," whereby we continue the relationship. But I do not set out to do "services" for someone in exchange for a relationship from them. What is "validating as a man" is identifying as a man, communicating with someone that identifies as a woman, and our communication validating a mutual desire to maintain the relationship. |
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The question is like asking are our eyes/hands/feet/teeth really needed? What do we need them for? Your input would be greatly appreciated! lol
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I'd say probably the sames things that men of previous generations needed women for.
I mean historically women didn't bring much 'value' to a relationship At least now women can bring value to the relationship(you know besides sex and procreation) |
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Hummm I can say that I really don't need one. I can pay my own bills mow my own yard. And things I can not do I can hire someone to do it..
But I sure enjoy having a man around and doing things with them.. Myself I enjoy the company of a man I ain't switching teams.. So yeah I will always enjoying having a man around.. My best friends have always been a men.. I prefer their friendships many times over a woman's. Even tho I have a few women that are dear friends.. I have more fun hanging out with guys... less Drama~~~ 
I work with all men and to be honest would not have it any other way... 
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Hi, I'm 29 female 2. I agree with what you wrote, we can talk if you want.
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At this point every human being as an individual is completely superfluous, in and of themselves. Your higher thinking level skills are commendable and appreciated! I never really intended for this topic to be processed on a molecular and clinical level.Perhaps my wording wasn't the best The objective of this topic was to discover people's perception of a man's value/importance in his relationship/ family in light of the fact, that women have assumed some of the roles that men might have taken pride in previously. I will still try to address some of your points since you have taken the time to raise them.
"At this point every human being as an individual is completely superfluous, in and of themselves." Response: If we were superfluous to the extent that you claim , the classifieds in your local newspapers would not be filled with new advertisements for job openings every week. " Parent's don't offer "invaluable" qualities. No individual, or individual group is really "necessary or needed" Response: Parents are an individual group. I challenge every parent in the world, whether single or married to abandon your child right now and leave them in the care of grandparents or the state. In one month, I will revisit the credibility of your statement above. 
"Relationship" is just a shortcut term to define how things are interacting. "Relationship" is a reactive term, not a proactive ideal." RESPONSE: Every interaction that is MUTUALLY CHOSEN has a PERCEIVED GOAL and PERCEIVED IDEAS as to how those goals can be accomplished by both parties . The reason why chat sites ask people to specify and publish what type of interaction individuals are looking for is because all of those interactions have perceived roles which will impact on the nature of interaction. I never raised the issue if whether people SHOULD have perceptions or not. All I did was imply that society has perceptions of roles. "The definition of "service" (outside of mating) is doing something for another person, I don't bring services to a relationship. I communicate. " Can you please introduce me to the lady who you communicated to for an ENTIRE relationship without actually DOING one thing for her during your courtship? And did she also communicate with you for your entire relationship without doing on thing for you? how did that work out for the both of you? "What is "validating as a man" is identifying as a man, communicating with someone that identifies as a woman, " That brings us back to the issue of perceived roles. What in your opinion "identifies" you as a man ? What in your perception is the defining quality/ actions outside of your physical attributes that IDENTIFIES YOU as a man. And the objective of my question by extension was to get people to consider what the perceived identity/role of a man contributes to his relationship /family |
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Edited by
TMommy
on
Mon 01/18/16 03:01 PM
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women...not all but most
are taught at a very young age to be sociable to be liked, be polite and to keep the peace, be well mannered and smile and we are encouraged to be caring, compassionate and understanding these are not bad qualities and can make us excellent nurturers when a friend has had a bad day or just broke up with her boyfriend we excel at being sympathetic and we can bring our friend pizza or chocolate or a bottle of wine and sit and commiserate with her for hours we can be that shoulder to cry on men..bless their beautiful hearts and souls do not understand the need for six different kinds of black pumps or boots or why this skirt does not go with that blouse or what a bad hair day is and why we get mad if we get a run in our stockings or we think someone at the office has made a rude comment about how that sweater we wore makes us look frumpy they are direct, they are often times excellent for giving advice they are problem solvers and often have no problem whatsoever with conflict and standing your ground and standing up for yourself if someone is trying to take advantage of you they are quick to tell you if they think there is something going on with your automobile and who to take it to to get it fixed they have no problem if not everyone in the room likes them and will voice their opinions and let the chips fall where they may they can be irate and down right angry with someone on their phone and at the same time pause long enough to open the door for you and let you go in the store first you can be in a restaurant sitting across from a man deep into conversation with him..both of you in earnest discussion over what you heard on the news that morning and why you like that candidate but he does not and both of you are holding your own and not giving an inch and the next second ...when the guy at the next table gets up to use the men's room after drinking one too many martinis and bumps into your table and spills your glass of wine your man is standing up immediately and lecturing him on not being able to control his booze and he needs to be aware that there is a lady present a man can stand back and watch you and grin can admire your spirit, your outspokenness and your strength and will never want to diminish you or control you in any way but the minute the concert let's out and you are now in the midst of a crowd or rowdy and loud people, his arm will automatically come around you to encircle you and keep you safe by his side grew up with two brothers, was married to a man for 20 years, have two sons men are wonderful creatures in many ways 
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Edited by
SparklingCrystal 💖💎
on
Mon 01/18/16 03:06 PM
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Why they're needed? Well, to put out the rolly bins of course!
What a silly question! 
Oh and to fix your fence when it's blown over in a storm. *I could so use a bloke now that that happened!* And last but not least: How can you say "APART FROM SEX"?  
If he doesn't function properly in that area, any of the other advantages can be discarded, as sex is NO1 priority 
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Life itself is what makes me a man or male.
The trick here is to see how long and comfortable you can live in a lifetime. "Life is what and how it is lived out" Happy or Normal or Sad? That's Life! What makes me a man? ... Ask Life  lol
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Edited by
Unknow
on
Mon 01/18/16 03:14 PM
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The question is like asking are our eyes/hands/feet/teeth really needed? What do we need them for? Your input would be greatly appreciated! lol
Actually in my school, they taught us all the parts of the body , what their functions were individually and what would happen if those body parts were not functioning which i interpreted as the significance /importance of the body part in question . But thats ok if your school had a different approach
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Edited by
Unknow
on
Mon 01/18/16 04:17 PM
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Life itself is what makes me a man or male. The trick here is to see how long and comfortable you can live in a lifetime. "Life is what and how it is lived out" Happy or Normal or Sad? That's Life! What makes me a man? ... Ask Life lol
I asked life:- 'what do men define as their identity and significance in a relationship now that women have usurped some of their traditional roles?' Life responded:- "Go ask a man !" Thank you hapoygoelucky ! Your insights were invaluable
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I'd say probably the sames things that men of previous generations needed women for. What did men of previous generations need women for? And if the answer is sex and procreation , are you implying that those are the only 2 functions that today's man is good for? |
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Hummm I can say that I really don't need one. I can pay my own bills mow my own yard. And things I can not do I can hire someone to do it.. But I sure enjoy having a man around and doing things with them.. Myself I enjoy the company of a man I ain't switching teams.. So yeah I will always enjoying having a man around.. My best friends have always been a men.. I prefer their friendships many times over a woman's. Even tho I have a few women that are dear friends.. I have more fun hanging out with guys... less Drama~~~
I work with all men and to be honest would not have it any other way...
My best friend in the world is a man so I totally relate TxsGal1333. Even outside of sex and procreation , I think a male's contribution is sooooo invaluable. I love men!!!What I have noticed so far is that none of the male responses so far have indicated that these men think they are good for anything but sex and procreation. That actually disturbs me because I understand the uniqueness of their contribution. I think I want us to affirm the men in this thread today. So you just identified the invaluable quality you think men bring to the table is "less drama" Are there any other qualities or contributions that you think men offer that are equally invaluable?
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Edited by
Unknow
on
Mon 01/18/16 04:54 PM
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I agree with what you wrote, we can talk if you want. Hi, Lovelytolovely .What invaluable contribution do you think a man contributes apart from sex and procreation?
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Why they're needed? Well, to put out the rolly bins of course! What a silly question!
Oh and to fix your fence when it's blown over in a storm. *I could so use a bloke now that that happened!* And last but not least: How can you say "APART FROM SEX"?
If he doesn't function properly in that area, any of the other advantages can be discarded, as sex is NO1 priority
Stop it crystalfairy! You are being naughty! lolol
Seriously... I really do think that men offer something invaluable to relationship/family even though we perform many of their traditional roles. I was hoping that the men in the thread would boast about what they bring to a relationship but maybe the tone of my question made them defensive or they genuinely can't think of any contribution they make outside of procreation and sex which actually makes me sad  So crystal... Can we try this again?  What are the invaluable contributions that men make to their relationship/family?
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they are direct, they are often times excellent for giving advice they are problem solvers and often have no problem whatsoever with conflict and standing your ground and standing up for yourself if someone is trying to take advantage of you they are quick to tell you if they think there is something going on with your automobile and who to take it to to get it fixed they have no problem if not everyone in the room likes them and will voice their opinions and let the chips fall where they may they can be irate and down right angry with someone on their phone and at the same time pause long enough to open the door for you and let you go in the store first Tmommy. I loooooooooooooooooooooooooove your response IT TOTALLY RESONATES with me. I actually wish the guys who responded so far would have been able/willing to list all their unique qualities they bring to a relationship/family like you did ,instead of trying to be cute lol
1.they are direct, they are often times excellent for giving advice 2.they are problem solvers and often have no problem whatsoever with conflict 3.standing up for us women if people are trying to hurt us/innate protectiveness towards women they love 3.they are quick to tell you if they think there is something going on with your automobile and who to take it to to get it fixed 4. they have no problem if not everyone in the room likes them and show us by example not to be dominated by people's opinion of us 5. and will voice their opinions and let the chips fall where they may unlike many of us women who are wired to obsess over an issue for a decade! lol The other qualities you described? uummm... Not too sure if its the norm but its enviable that it has been your reality. Let's hear it for the boyzzzzz! AMAZING CONTRIBUTION TMOMMY! 
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Materially, I bring to a relationship the basic stuff cars, house , cash flow etc...means not a great deal to me. But I also offer loyalty, faithfulness, honesty and above all ...companionship. Hopefully, that will be valued more than anything else. If that is not enough, I will still feel and believe I am the man...just not yours....all I am saying..
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