Fear of rejection....overcoming it.

Truly, what's the worst thing that can happen, by asking someone out?

They will say no.

Go stand in front of the mirror and say no, 100 times, everyday for a week, ask a friend to answer no to every question you ask, for a day.


Have no investment, and no delusional expectations....ask and wait for an answer.

Then learn from it. People have choices, surprisingly enough, and no means: "no thankyou, I am screwed up from my last relationship"

"no thankyou you live 2.5 km outside my dating zone"

"no thankyou, you have green , brown, blue, black, red, blonde, or no hair.."

" no thankyou you are wearing the same cologne that my scariest teacher in fourth grade wore"

Do you hear what I am saying?

You are you, some will like you, some won't, some will love you, some won't.

Forget about trying to please everyone, and learn to please you, in a healthy way.

Shyness, can be caused by negative inner monologue, and irrational fears. Get counselling.

You seem very well mannered, nice looking, (don't get me wrong here lol) But you seem to have it together, confidence bro...give it time, she'll be along soon. There is nothing wrong with being a little shy, a lot of women like that. I submit that being shy (while it may suggest insecurity) also means you are apprehensive of failure, Isn't everyone? It only means you care, and that you have heart. It means what others think of you is important to you. I would say thats a good quality in a person.

I am who I am, take it or leave it!

There, I said it!!!!!

Heahlloo Cher,

Thanks for the kind remarks. I don't think you have anything to be shy about. Let your sonny side shine and the rest will follow.

(;-)}

Not everybody is going to like you. Certain people are only attracted to certain traits; you may or may not land in the positive area every time you ask someone out. Just think of it this way: you cant please everyone, you can only be yourself and do your best. So prepare yourself for being rejected eventually but realize it happens to everyone and its not a big deal.

Yes bear i try to be happy most of the time. But your a sweetie.

I find myself able to say pretty much anything online. It's like a security of people not being able to see you or something. If I really really like someone, I get all flush, and quiet, and just wanna crawl under a rock and hide. The only way I can get over it is to not die and not hide, and eventually I get comfortable around the person. Takes me a while though.

I met a nice guy on here, and talking on IM, I was fine. He called me tonight and I totally clammed up! Maybe someday when the perfect person comes along, I wont be that way! Who knows!

Cher,
Awww.....Shucks....................
Blush........Blush........Blush........Blush........Blush.......


Andrea,

Pretend your talking to a friend, just don't talk about personal stuff. Plus, ask them about things like what they do for a living, how long they've been here, do they like stuff you like, sports, movies, tv programs, do they have kids, play an instrument, been stung by red ants. You can write down a list of things you like in a person and nonchalantly ask them.

YOU GO GIRL. LIKE I SAID TO CHER, LET THE SUN SHINE THRU!!!


BEAR

Well what you do is when you ask a woman out, after you say, "would you be interested in a date?" you quickly plug your ears and don't listen for the no. This way you will never hear that horrible word ever again.

Sincerely man,

Easy does it. They say no, and I listen so I can get use to it and that it gets easier to hear. There's a saying in the sales business, "Every no get you closer to a yes", cause odds are someone is going say yes, sometime. I also take my time to reach the asking point, and sometimes I don't ask until they show some interest, cause I fear rejection, too! I just practice it till it get easier. Plus, don't forget she might be doin' you a favor.

Wongo from the Island of Wongo

confidence....even though it's not always there if you pretend to be confident eventually you will begin to feel that way. Tell yourself that you're good looking to boost your confidence and you'l blieve it

Hay Samantha,

Do ya think it'll work for me?

Anarchy

If you want to be more confident you hace to tell yourself to be confident...don't be cocky to people, it's unattractive, but just be confident, believe in yourself and your abilities.

I say you go with the old stand by move and use duct tape and rope.

Good answer! Good Answer!

I like the idea brought up about shyness being a fear issue. I myself am not really shy, although I call it that. It stems somewhat from fear of rejection. I have always feared rejection. I think it has alot to do with what people go through in their lives. I havent ever came out face to face and asked someone for a date. I guess since I am such a loving and caring person, I hurt quicker than most. When you go through relationships or marriages in which I have where you put forth 100% and someone runs over you and leaves you high and dry, you always seem to fear a repeat even when you still want someone in your life. Alot of men, including myself feel like most of the women these days want bad boys. We see it too regularly every day. They will dump a guy that is good to them and worship a guy who runs them down and treats them bad. I myself cant mistreat a lady and therefore fear I will sooner or later be rejected anyway by being the good person that I am. Some women mistake kindness for weakness. Some people have such strong feelings that even a simple no can hurt. I have had some very nice and attractive women in my past that were interested in me, but due to my fears, I would not pursue anything. I'm like alot of you, I can get on here and chat up a conversation and then it makes it easier. I hope we all can overcome it one day or I hope that somehow someway we will find that life mate and wont have to worry about it anymore.

Titan,

I know one in my family that is like that, and she is constantly being mistreated by her "boy" (for lack of a better term). Real men don't mistreat anyone or anything. Why? Because they are secure in themselves and don't have to belittle, mistreat, dominate someone else, male or female. That's what men call a man's man. You sir, have nothing to fear but fear itself, because that fear keeps you from achieveing your goal, whatever it is. Don't get me wrong, I am not absolutely fearless, but I try to ask myself what it is I am afraid of and then determine if my fear has merit... I get it wrong sometimes, I have regret, but there is seldom reward without risk. Think about it.

Bearrrrrrrrrr.

It's not getting over the fear of rejection, it's about being happy with who you are. When I started to do that the fear just goes away.

and so does the 'need' to be with someone!!


enjoy yourself ! you will attract!!

what's the worst thing that can happen other than getting a no for an answer?
there are millions of women all over the place.
you ain't gonna die.