This was my response in email to someone who was describing himself to me. Now, understand, I like this man, he's funny and makes me laugh. Did I sound to harsh here?


"-grin-

Ok, you're gonna find I'm different...cuz now that you've said all that to "attract" me...tell me what's wrong with you? I don't care why you're single....but you are not perfect. We all have many, many flaws. I would never compare myself to God. I have many flaws in the eye of man. Yet the most beautiful creations on earth are that much more beautiful because of the flaws..not in spite of them.

=)

I like to make people think. I tend to frustrate people because they respond the "best" way to a quary, yet it isn't close to what I'm asking or wanting. I want unvarnished, unpolished. For under the gloss and glamour lies the true soul.

(Wow, I just made that up and I like it.) "

Not knowing the situation...I would say....YES.

I never discuss "flaws" in emails. He can't hear the tone of your voice, you could be screaming at him....or just joking with him...how would he know???




Just my opinion....that's all it is.

That's all I was asking...opinions. Thanks Puffins!

Harsh? No. Realistic? Yes.

But we know that people want to put their "good side" on stage for all the world to see. It's normal. What you've done is to say, "Hey, I get the good side, and that's fine, but what about the rest?" -- while, at the same time, acknowledging your own imperfections.

If someone wrote that to me, I would be thinking, "She's blunt, but honest, and realistic. I have to respect that."

That still doesn't mean I'm going to tell her about the incident with the bulldozer and the 32 goats. But maybe someday....

I agree with puffins.

Harsh!

I don't know about you but I hate endless emailing. If I really sense a connection, (which is not often) I want to get to the phone as soon as possible to talk. I've experienced too many times, having wonderful email relationships that go on for a while, and then the minute I talked to the person on the phone I'd think, "what happened to that great guy who emailed me?"

So much gets lost communicating by email only. Plus, I really like to hear what the person's voice sounds like. Let's face it, if they have a terrible sounding voice, or one that sounds terrible to me, am I going to want to be in a relationship with them? What if the guy is a "high-talker" like on Seinfeld?!

I am blunt and straightforward. Is that a fault? To some, yes. To others, no. It's who I've learned to become. I like me...and I honestly appreciate your responses and opinions.

If someone wrote me an email like that...I would respond like this...If I told you all of my flaws, I would have to kill you!
I know that you probably want to get to know this person, good and bad, but I really think that kind of stuff should be done over the phone or in person. Thats just my opinion though!!

i agree with this post. i feel that if i didnt have add i would be boring but at the same time people tend to think you slow and cant focus. but there are many talented people who have ADD

i would rather have a woman with flaws than someone who is perfect

the other thing is, why ask for the flaws now? Believe me, you'll discover 'em soon enough!

Also, what one person sees as a flaw, another might see as a great quality. So ... it's all relative, really

I wasn't specifically asking him for flaws. And I realized when I posted this that only one piece of the puzzle was being laid before everyone. But I also know that my bluntness can cause problems for some people. He actually responded well and wasn't offended by the response. =)

I think perhaps the wording was harsh ... the intent was realistic. The goal of getting to know someone is to communicate but it is important to stop and think about how we do so. There are those who write and expect the reader to "read between the lines," there are those who are able to bluntly state what they are feeling which can be taken for honesty but can also be misintrepretted thus branding the writer.

Depending on how long you have been communicating back and forth and the situation would also help determine whether or not ur response could be considered harsh.

You guys are awesome. I love that you give your honest opinions. It really makes me feel comfortable knowing that I can ask something and will get honesty in return.