Not to generalize .. but I'm seriously narked after yet again wasting my time on a bloke that has no social skills. Question after question after question after question. Drive's me up the bloody wall.

Why do men do that? Can anyone explain? Can't you have a normal conversation, which means you EXCHANGE?
Do you not get how bloody rude it is to treat a woman as if she's on a job interview at your disposal?
WHY do you do this? If you are generally interested in a woman, you wouldn't behave like a robot and fire question after question after question, very personal ones even, without telling anything about yourself.

I don't think every man is thick as two planks, so can someone explain why? I REALLY want to know.

*and sorry if I sound PO, that's because right now I am PO, not with you though, so please don't take it personal *

If they lack the social skills in offline life to meet, chat up and then develop a friendship or relationship.....

They certainly wont be any better at it online...

The ones that try do the 222 question Grill I cut off at about 3 or 4 questions; especially if they are the same dumbarse questions that if they actually read your profile they would know.

A conversation is about mutual interests not and interrogation. I don't care if it is rocket science level discussions but would be nice to talk to someone who can actually visit and be pleasant. I don't need a parent to answer to. Not even my parents grilled me.

Yeah, agree. Question remains: Why do they do it?

The art of conversation has been lost
There should be a give and take , moving from one topic to another so both learn about the other ..
But then there is the reverse where all they talk about is themselves
I haven't had the 50 questions, just the 'tell me more about yourself'
How about answering the questions with a question??

usually fall into one of two categories
1 let's play 20 questions kind of guy
2. Never shuts up about himself kind of guy


which by the way I have no patience for either one


"The art of conversation has been lost "

have tried more than once to explain this concept to a man messaging online

I think I might ask too many questions at first, online. I'm just trying to figure out if it's a scammer. They always ask for my email or cell. When I decline that ends it.

Anyone who has ever put widow has been shady. And if the username has a first and last name in it, shady too. I end up blocking those 100% of the time.

But yeah, too many questions is annoying, especially personal ones. That stuff can come later. I just look for a good and natural conversation or I pretty much am not interested. I am not into rushing things so if I feel pressured, I bail.

Problems in conversation swing both ways.

I read about a woman journalist who met Winston Churchill. When she left she felt HE was the most interesting person in the world.

Some time later she met Benjamin Disraeli. When she left she felt SHE was the most interesting person in the world.

If you are constantly meeting people who are dull and uninteresting, maybe you ought to take a good look at your own conversational skills.

Lots of reasons.

- there's little attraction with the profile or person, but not really any repulsion to make them go away, so they fish for something, anything, they can click with and feel some semblance of connection.
So a barrage of questions to try and get a better idea of potential compatibility.

- They're scared of being ghosted. They got a response so are trying to force the woman to "invest" her time by getting her to do something.
Lot of people don't know when to get out. They think in for a penny, in for a pound, and just keep going until the urge to bail is strong enough.

- They want her to see him as "interested," caring about "who she is," and wanting to "get to know her."
Can't really get to know someone online without asking questions.
Some people abuse the idea.

- They tried the online conversation route and found there are a ton of women that just use the internet for attention, to use men for conversation. One night talk stands.
So what he does is ask questions. Tries to minimize conversation to avoid being used for conversation and attention.

- They're in a bad mood. They are serious about online dating. But that particular day they "really" just wanted to go online and troll profiles. But there's an email. He can ignore it, and wait hours, days, weeks, to answer it, when he feels like it, but more than likely that will just kill the opportunity.
So he has to answer. But he doesn't really want to talk, to chat, or deal with things.
So he asks questions, to get her to talk.

- She's not being forward with information or she has no idea how to help maintain a conversation. Her profile may be cliche or vague or just not all that informative with relevant information. So he has to drag everything out of her.

- He's talking to a bunch of women at the same time. Or just has a lot of lines in the water. Or is chasing after someone else he would prefer. So questions are what he thinks are the bare minimum upkeep to keep the bird in the hand continuing to respond.

- He spends 99% of his life either at work, asleep, in the bathroom, eating, or driving around to each of the preceding. He knows his life is boring as crap. He asks questions to try and jog his own mind into remembering what it was like to do other things, to avoid talking about his health as represented by bowel movements, the weather, how much he loves sleeping, how he hates his boss, types of cars he's looking at.

- He's not asking a lot of questions or treating it like an interview.
She's just insecure and feels personal questions are a request for her to justify her life to him rather than spark plug firings meant to ignite the engine of a conversation. So the more he asks, the more she withdraws, which force him to ask more questions to try and draw her closer, and it actually pushes her away.


If you are generally interested in a woman you want to drink her all in and you don't really think about yourself at all, only what she's going to do, and you just react to how she's making you feel.

If a guy is actually coming across as a robot, like he seems to shut down, act kinda stilted and rigid then either:
1. He's not all that interested and just participating until you go away.
2. He's extremely interested and is possibly insecure about showing too much of his feelings which may have driven off many women before, or comes across as too needy or weak.

Sometimes it's little different than someone in severe pain trying to distract themselves from it by talking to someone.
Their body is all tense, but they just throw out the easiest thing that comes to mind, to kill time until they can start feeling normal, the initial overwhelming feelings subside to normalcy.

If a guy hasn't dated for a while or is extremely lonely, a woman's attention is going to have a more profound effect on what's going on internally with him and he may simply be out of practice on how to go with it safely so he tries to control it absolutely, clamp down on it to maintain a semblance of control.

Men are hormonal and emotional too.


I wonder if you see that this is little different than saying "I'm seriously narked after yet again wasting my time on a girl that doesn't put out."

It should be give and take. IF, I am interested I answer the question and then I ask "What about you?" If he doesn't give the information about him, he probably didn't read the email correctly... or, he didn't want to give out any information about him.. the same information he asked me and I answered. Well then... I stop being interested.

Yeah, often that works, if they're asking questions because they don't know what else to say or do.
This one tonight was rather tenacious and kept at it if I didn't answer a question. Doesn't make me feel to good. Today it made me feel
Hahaha

Yes, you're completely right! Wasn't at my best today, too tired after last night to do that. And sometimes I just get fed up with it not being smooth and easy, always this 20 question chit. But doesn't change the fact you are right.
Thank you

Interesting feed back as usual.

I think if many would allow themselves to be more real some of the people who appear to be scammers because they ask the same script of questions might get a chance.

I don't want to listen to a laundry list of belly aching but hey I would be interested in what someone's day is like. Even a rather ordinary one.

I don't read a lot of females profiles but I write mine specifically to make it accomplish two things; share some break the ice conversation topics, and save guys from wasting their time if they have different qualifiers.

Alright.....Hi! My name is Goofball. I like long walks on the beach, holding hands while shopping, and doing the wild thang at the beach. Now that we have that all out of the way, are you ready to get naked with me?

I like conversation.

Nah. He's not shy. Once you see him you'll be like...."My....what a nice big ball you are"! And I actually prefer loose fittin jeans so my "boys" can move around. Gotta ventilate yo! And I named it Goof simply because his aim can go in all kinds of goofy directions.

Mmm. yes, my first thought too, was that peppering someone with questions is a common substitute for the recommended basics of invovlved and progressive conversation.

People often ask a lot of questions because it provides the illusion of actual interest, as well as taking a lot of time to do, thus giving the additional illusion of real involvement.

If you've ever read any of the stuff that males are pushed to read when they look for advice on how to do better with women, it's packed with recommendations to do exactly this kind of stuff. But since most of us who are trying to GET advice, don't understand it when it comes, it's no surprise that many hear or read "engage her interest through conversation; ask questions which demonstrate your sincere interest, and follow them up to show you are listening.." and take that to mean "ask about endless annoying trivia, and keep pounding away until she gives in."

You are an oddity. 99% of the women that come to the other website that I am on, get upset if a man doesn't ask questions about the woman that they have shown interest in. The way they look at it, if a man doesn't ask questions about her, then he isn't interested in her as a person.

But now, on the other side of that nickel, men ask questions about the woman trying to get a conversation started. But a lot of women never ask questions of the man. So it seems sorta one sided. The guy shows his interest, but it isn't returned by the woman. Not saying this is how it is with you. Just saying.

He probably had a check-list.

Guys asking rapid fire questions are looking for the boundaries, set by the women, as to how far they are willing to go in a relationship and how soon the "sex" gets thrown in there. 2, 3 , 5 or 6 dates later or much much later...will determine how many more questions and the kind a questions that are yet to be thrown out there ..just saying...But a guy with social skills and who is a smooth talker, can get where he wants to go without to many questions....because he leads and blends questions into a natural flowing conversation....that makes for a mutual comfortable relationship.....