It sounds like it had not been meant to be intentionally insulting. Maybe he was trying to impress you . Perhaps you could explain to him that the comment was not appropriate, and watch for his reaction. That would give you a better idea of where things stand. Have fun and all the best.

You were right first time, it is insulting, and my guess is the guy is young because you are, so maybe you can let it go. However, if he says something else to you that you find insulting, I should hope you make it very clear to him that you feel insulted, and if there is no apology, move on, you deserve better.

Welcome to Mingle2 and good luck in your search.

A homeless what? Yeah he sounds like a jerk.

Maybe he was going to treat you to something nice from the a la carte menu in the local soup kitchen

Not something I'd ever say, even when I was a young jerk, but may be worth asking him for an explanation.

Does sound like the hallmarks of a control freak mind you.

I tried to dress like a homeless guy....many many years ago......just could not afford it. Those ripped jeans alone cost $39.99 and they were not even Levis....and I was not about to pay for a brand new pair of jeans just so that I could rip em in strategic places to achieve "the look"....nowadays the homeless look is available in good brand name stores too...and I still cannot afford it...

Just looked at your pics,
You don't look like a homeless person....

Hmmmmmm
Wonder what gave him the idea you dressed like a homeless person?

Still, even if I dressed like a homeless person myself,
I would not like anyone else telling me how to dress....

Haha I did tell him that. Lol but he was like, "okay." Haha

Well, he doesn't effin know me. Men usually think I was always looking for sex just because of the way I looked. Little that they know that was the very last thing on my mind, if at all. I was too busy staying alive, too busy working for my next meal to think of normal things that girls my age think about. I work 7 days a week wearing a f*cking suit, what makes him think I'm not decent.

I thought about that. Because he told me to dress classy but then when I asked him where we gonna go, he said just at the mall. Haha

Yeah, I agree! Funny thing is, he's the one that's always wearing sleeveless and shorts and rip jeans in his photos all the time.

He's turning 29, I didnt met him here though

If I was in ur shoes id dress like a homeless on purpose. I'd even wear not matching shoes. F him.

You are still going to be frustrated by my answer but I hope you will read it thoughtfully. Maybe it is still your presentation. What you describe here is a different person than you describe in your profile and changes or at least bends my advice.

The perception of you still comes across as very rough and desperate. But if the world is as close to constant concern for survival as you say, which is a reality for many, maybe that vibe comes through WAY more than you realize.

That really paints a target on your back from step one. Fair ? NO WAY !!! But sad as it is; it is the reality that many young women have to live with every day. It is a very narrow line to walk to self protect, self nourish, and still be unguarded enough to be comfortable to be around. It seems like you want to be around this guy. Hopefully for a good reason. You did not curse him out at the moment so I suspect you know there is a grain of friendship in his comment.

If you mistake being yourself by being tough and as your posts show you consistently do, talk with very aggressive, nasty unprofessional sexualized street language, when you are clearly capable of being more in control and articulate, then you are sabotaging yourself to sound like homeless trash even if you have kept your self in your own place and managed so you are not homeless.

It is not uncommon for teens new twenties to do that. Using what is MISTAKENLY called adult language is not adult at all. Hopefully this is a teenage hang over speech pattern you will drop like a hot rock. Something that is a "bad habit" can make life harder for you. Men use f-bomb language and are less likely to address that they don't like it in women but they will sometimes give you the general hint to "upgrade" by comments about your clothes or play grab ***.

And as young and cute as you are I don't care what you wear it is going to have a sexual component and you just have to DEAL WITH IT. But too casual and sloppy, or revealing, or the I just crawled out of bed hairstyle is gong to project a certain level of permission to visualize you in those contexts and you are already hanging off a cliff in any interaction with men especially in your early twenties to say well truthfully about 80. Stinks I know but don't we judge men and their success by their costumes and other symbols of success? Would you think this guy who gave you a really left handed invitation, I would have politely refused with out blinking and eye, was so hot if he looked homeless too? Or if you have become desensitized would you have walked into a dark alley with him if he was? My guess is you liked the power and control he had to be able to issue a boundary you have to live up too; to get near him.

Even women get the vibe you are a "homeless" you know they are going to treat you as a second class citizen. Instead of being treated like the future executive and reflecting positively on your companions as such they want to leave you at a table by the bathroom. Sucks but society has a pecking order and you chose where you land in it. How you talk, walk, the manners you use, and yes the clothes you wear position you in that pecking order.

But yea I am responding to the facts you give me. This person may or may not be insulting you still. If he sees you as this person who only fits the "suit" mold for work then reverts to sloppy or too casual in off duty situations maybe he is not saying it with any tact or elegance but saying "be your better self" we are going someplace I/you want to fit in and there is a dress code to be with me there. That's called having boundaries and even guys are allowed to have them. Just as nicer establishments are.

Sounds like he is suggesting taking you someplace nice. That is a little vague. If he is just pushing you off with and elitist attitude I think I would ignore him like the plague. The whole French Canadian snob routine as an excuse to be cruel doesn't fly any better than the vagabond persona. I would not "dignify his insult" by immediately submitting to his comment but I would not totally discount the information you can clean from his harsh remark. Sounds more and more like a snide remark and he has no intent of treating you like a better peer. Blow him off like yesterdays dust. BUT; BE better and better will find you.

Is he all that and a bag of chips? Who knows. But he is putting a value on himself and MAYBE hoping you will have something similar. Clearly he thinks it is possible or he would not have given you the possible qualified invitation.

I will warn you that when people tell you to do something rude and socially stupid like show up in some foolish get up they are letting you fight their battles of rejection at your expense and not your friend. Then you are being used yet again. You can bet they did not ever do such a ill conceived move and if they did then they were even more rejected.

One thing to verbally mentally play out such a scenario in sympathy or solidarity as a jest but it is a very another thing to actually have anyone show up and do it. More often than not it is and exercise in futility since rarely would it change a thing. You would be barred at the door. Modern culture has not moved much more than an inch on the haves dictating the dress code to the have not's.

And believe me I do have empathy for you. I came up in the world by the seat of my pants just like is sounds like you are. And no I did not like some of the stupid cultural games I had to play either. I had a hard time letting go of my 20-Something rebellions. Luckily a few still chiseled some of them away with reason and honesty and I saw that a few rules have reasons and you can get a LOT further not spitting into the wind and putting some of that momentum behind you to push you forward.

I am NOT suggesting selling out. Snobs are snobs ad bullies are bullies weather their pants have holes in them or they have high society labels they still pull them on one leg at a time. If it helps you reconcile visualize in your mind they look just a goofy as anyone else in their sloppy clothes which even the powerful have behind closed doors and just adapt and survive. EVEN hopefully; THRIVE.

Again Good luck. If I didn't think you had the right stuff inside I would not waste my time in counsel woman to woman.

We've already talked about it. And we're okay now. Lol

Hm, woah Understood!! Thanks Mrs.PacificStar48

Think the guy sounds like a moron avoid why would you say that to anyone really.