Hmmm...The Cinderella Complex. An interesting view of how some women live their lives. Funny, i'm not sure what to make of that or where I fit in, but definitely count me in for one to participiate. I love psychology and everything to do with it. It's part of my major and just for fun i'm always trying to psycho-analyze people and life (including myself).

Me? Cinderella complex? Let's see...
I grew up in a hell on earth. Mother was a crack whore, never home, and I was left there to care for my younger brother and I. I was cinderella waiting for my "prince on a white horse". But, my prince wasn't the man I hoped to marry. My prince was my dad. I knew he'd come eventually, I just didn't know when. For 14 years, I put up with the physical, verbal, and emotional abuse of my mother and took on the responsibility of being the only "real" parent of the household. It got so bad, I was parenting my own parents.

During that time, I learned that I couldn't trust or rely on anyone but myself, because I had been let down by the people that were supposed to take care of me. That's where my independence came from. Ironically, my prince on a white horse came to my rescue (my dad) and even though I was very thankful, nothing changed. I stuck to being independent, I tried to parent him and my step-mom and their children. I wouldn't let myself be a kid. He forced me to and I fought him every step of the way. I liked having control over my life because I was so used to living day by day and trusting adults (even one's that knew what they were doing and were successful and had a happy family) didn't phase me. I thought to myself..."this is too good to be true and eventually will come crashing down like everything else." Almost 5 years later, guess who was right? They think I hate them because I still don't act like a part of the family. I tell them, I don't know how. I can't. I refuse their help. I enjoy my independence. **** a man taking care of me. I can take care of myself. I always have and always will, until I can't anymore. I'm 19 years old, a black belt in tae kwon do, getting my Bachelor's Degree. Am I not proof that I can be independent and take care of myself?

Don't get me wrong I wouldn't mind having a man by my side as my partner in life and eventually I might warm down to letting him have most of the control and say so. But, i'm never going to count on relying on a man because sh** happens and what if he dies or leaves me or turns out to be a raging alcoholic who beats me and the kids? Then, what the **** am I going to do if i'm dependent upon him to provide for me and the children? Drown in my misery? Sell my body for money? I don't think so.

What a life you have had to live, hrdawson..

I agree with your thoughts, and although it is wonderful for a parent to encourage a child to believe they are worthy of the best...the best needs to be defined...respect, acceptance, trust, and an understanding of what a team is....


The article which was cut and pasted was interesting, however the personal slant by the OP was not balanced, nor open to discussion..

hey there HR...it's almost like hitting the streets at a young age and finding safety among the thugs and.... because it's safer where the rules of engagement are clear and being more dangerous than the wicked can be very comforting!!! But unwinding all the twists takes years. The Lord, Jesus Christ himself took it upon himself to ring my bell 20 years ago and walked and talked with me long enough and strong enough until my experiences with Him brought me to a place where I could see all that he had changed, and come to peace with the hardships that dull and numb the heart and soul . I'm sure you will have all of your dreams and hopes come alive when you meet someone that recognizes what reflections in one another can do for making love real and vibrant. Truth....it's always about TRUTH!! much love and best wishes to you!!

how can anyone be happy when they are that bitter about the hand they was delt in life?