you really feel strongly about a person online ... and you are following them ... and remark as to what they post on that day ...
but have your ever felt like you should not have contact with them daily and stay away ... so you don't fall head over heels in love with them ... and let your emotions take over where you should not go in your head with them... and it has been very hard to stay away ... becouse you feel you don't want to have them think you are stoking them on line ... any suggestions... becouse I am really trying to keep my emotions in tack with this one ... an how do you just love as a friend ... an not get caught up in thinking that's all it is ...an will not go into a romantic relationship... and just be happy with the friendship ...

Are you saying you are falling in love with someone..?. Maybe you are just infatuated. ?!.. but whatever the whole point on being online.. is to feel the way you feel right now isn't it..
. Otherwise we're just a bunch of people on here talking to each other....
The whole point is to fall in love with someone..... does this somebody know that you are stalking them oops I mean in love with them..lol.wink

Ohh.. and that person you're in love with its not me is it? Because I know I am pretty irresistible.. I'm kind of a big deal..lol..wink wink..

Do you know how that person feels about you?

Have you thought of bringing up the topic with them after all you are on a dating site.

Ask them out for coffee in a casual way and go from there or if to far away Skype date.


Everyone loves you No1
Look at those big brown eyes and the wet nose. How can they not?.
sorry it's Milo. Come here boy your so cute

See how easy it is?

Try it on him. I mean the guy you like.
What do you have to lose?

darn straight its you ... how could I not fall for a mug like that ...

I understand the infatuation part ... do they know ...maybe but don't know how strongly my feelings have been toward them ... like enough to stay away... so I don't get hurt ... or think other wise of him in my own mind... he is and has been loved by many all his life ... so that kind of love as friendships is constant in his life ... like I said I just stay away most of the time so I don't get hurt ... now that might sound weird ... but I don't know any other way to hold back my feelings for him ...so they don't go deeper then a friendship love ...
has this worked ...not really I still feel the same

Well..op.. you only have one option.. grab him and screw his brains out....yup..lol.. . Just get it out of your system...lol... at least this way he'll know how you feel about him ..ohhh yha. .lol

You don't have strong feelings towards them.
You have worked yourself up to have strong emotions, and then chose to associate them with your perception of them.

This is no different than someone watching a soap opera and believing the character they watch is the true personality of the actor, or the actor is no different morally, intellectually, spiritually, whateverally, than the character they portray.

It's not real. It's in your head.

The sad thing is it's common online.
And sometimes it works for a while.
Simply because both people are the delusional seeking the actor to fall in fake love with.
Sometimes neither is the actor saying "here's a restraining order, psycho."

So sometimes it works. Sometimes people build up the fantasy.
Sometimes they then meet and continue the delusional fantasy.

Unfortunately, reality always wins.
The weaker the personality, the more the need for the fantasy, the longer it lasts, the more it hurts when reality wins.

Those are my thoughts.

And what I would do if I saw myself falling into this, is get out of it as fast as possible.
Slap myself a couple of times and try to remove the vaseline of desperation, loneliness, and delusional emotional connection from the lenses of my perception.
Or go to the search feature, find everyone and anyone close to me, then set up dates that keep me busy and away from the internet for as long as possible.

Well ... actually in a relationship thing for a woman it's about how she feels when she's around him, about how he makes her feel.
From what I understand, there's no contact between you and him, you are just chasing after him to try and get his attention.
By chasing him you cannot get to that stage of feeling good around him, because that (should) come from what he does for you. And he does nothing.
So how can you be in love? Aren't you just in love with an image?
If you feel like "No Crystal, you're talking crap", fair enough. I sometimes am wrong, I admit, LOL. Sorry, taking the mickey out of myself here.
But then I'd choose to send him a private message. Send him something flirty and playful, and then leave it up to him.
FFS STOP chasing after this bloke!

I'm having troubles understanding...for now it's friendly interactions...?
Maybe the person feels the same about you and with you running away to "not get hurt" maybe you "hurt" or "confuse" the person...
I think you can have strong feelings online...but it can only seriously evolve one way or the other once you meet.

Once you meet all that can be like : OMG - No ! or
OMG -yes..

(the online thing can only be a "foreplay", build trust, etc.. I think)

Are you saying that when a person likes to add a little fantasy, a little zest, it's a weak personality ?

I think it's creative...or else let's just go back to the cave...(which can be fun too...maybe, sometimes...

thanks for the starting point maxisu

mystical if you don't communicate and plainly with them then like ciretom says it is nothing. so have a private chat and see if the two of you are on the same page. if you are then slowly get to know each other. because right now you truly don't even have a friendship.

so my answer to your op is no i don't think i would have no contact with someone who interests me and could maybe be either a friend or romantic match.

thanks to all of you ... someone said to me one time ...this just could be your way of not getting involved with anyone since he is online and safe and a person of stature...I thought they meant ... there really could not be a meet or even a relationship ... so I felt safe with that ... and now with trying to get over a attachment for him feeling a strong love in my head ... then just is all in my head ... message him ... well I might have and he may not have even received it ... meaning he gets so many ... and the one time I thought when I asked him something his answer did not really seem like him or even what I asked him about ... really did not except he would even do that... becouse he is kinda that kind of person... least I think would even need to get that kind of tattoo... he knows who he is and does not need to be reminded of that ...feel it was someone else answering me ... but I know the feeling of when you would meet either your going to know right then ... how you both feel about each other and know if u can move forward... and sure I can day dream all I want ... which may get me know where ... and of course being around him online makes me feel good ... but I just don't want to feel safe ... I want a loving relationship ... an can't say he does not love all of those he is around on line ... just in a friendship kinda way ... just wondering for myself how to separate the two and still be around him ... now if I new he was in a strong relationship with someone that might help ... but as of right now I don't think he is ... and that may have changed for him ... since I have been staying away ... and I don't know ... something will have to click or not sooner or later ... that's all I can think now ...

I have no problem staying off the internet ... and some of what you say I can understand but this Slap myself a couple of times and try to remove the vaseline of desperation, loneliness, and delusional emotional connection from the lenses of my perception.
.... I don't believe I am all of that part ... and know I am not a weaker personality ... but thanks for your thoughts ...

I'm intrigued, the only way I can think of someone having someone else answer (if you are certain he's got "many" is that it's either a spam or a public personality...on fb or twitter for instance and in which case..."being fun", "showing your love" is part of the job....?

I think it might have been someone else in his family ...that would do something like that ... becouse he felt insecure about him self ... their would be really no reason to show love as a job... I believe it is just him and his manner that's why I feel the way I do about him ... ok let me explain if I can ... their is someone that has a family and is in the lets say lime light ... and I can say besides being a fan ...I love him ... I love the kind of person he is ... like others have said maybe different being alone with them ... but that's why the love is not the same ... he has a family where the other person has a family but a different kind of closeness of family ... he has no children and has no wife... that is why the love feels different ... and no S/O right now that I know of ...

Talk to him until then you will never know how he feels.
Talking about this sort of thing is not easy.
It takes a brave step and can go either way.
Take your time and do it when you know it's the right time.

All the best

I have been thinking about this ...
lets see if I can explain this ...
have you every tried to stay away from someone becouse
you felt like you have to protect them ...

sure you can say ...
well they are big boys they can take care of them selves ...
but it is complicated... and feel it always might be ... so better to not get so close ... and protect my own feelings ... and is still very very hard to explain ...

Holy Moly ! Way to complicated for me. If only sheep could cook?