so here's the issue, i may be overly analytical..lord knows i'm too obsessed with accumulating information and i love literature to an unhealthy degree. I love learning and I love exploring new ways to look at things. The problem is, most girls I have dated aren't all that interested. they either just want to have fun, which is cool, i like having fun, or they simply don't care about exploring ideas. anyway i feel like i want someone who is more compatible with the rest of my personality. perhaps i'm wrong about what i need though; maybe its that I need to change my point of view or perspective. so I'm asking for thoughts, do you have any suggestions?..and as always anyone interested in literature, liberal arts topics, science topics, or who are interested in a guy who is, feel free to post or message me. thanks in advance.

Hmm, all I am gonna say is you should never chage yourself to impress someone. Unless of course you have bad habits that you NEED to change. I'm sure you don't but if I did't say that someone would come in here and play the BUT IF game so, there ya go. I'm sure there are plenty of women that would be interested in the things you are.

Yeah man,do not be something you're not.If you are interested in the Arts,be interested. Be patient and someone will wander along looking for the same and that wants to have fun.

So you want a woman who is into all the things you listed, thats understandable need to have common grounds...don't want the flighty fluff heads..totally understand that..try looking in the places you go to feed your need for intelligence and substance..libraries, museums etc...

Keep going back to the places you find the flighty fluff heads and thats what you'll keep getting.

Curious ,

Join the club, Sir.

Like you, I consider myself a deep thinker. It's a shame that the last few dates I've been on, my date's favorite subject of choice includes such riveting topics as Brittney's custody troubles, Lindsey Lothan's rehab, and who's going to win Survivor.

In other words, I'd love to have a Filet Mignon conversation, but all I get is bologna talk .

YOu will find the right one for you..dont worry..

Curious, I feel your pain....I just don't meet anybody (with one exception, but WHAT an exception) who has any interest in literature or science or much of anything intellectual.

One of my ex-gfs, who I am still close friends with, recently loaned me a Kaye Gibbons book and said, "Would you read this for me and tell me if it's something I should read?" So I read it, and it was good, and I told her she should read it, but I'm not sure if she ever did.

But I had ONE girlfriend who was equally at home with Nietzsche and Ayn Rand as she was with Douglas Adams or the Simpsons. She was a musician and a painter and a photographer and a writer and....So I KNOW they are out there. Or at least one of them was. I'm skeptical about finding another ubercreative girl with a 160 IQ, but if she shows up at the door, I won't push her away.

lol she doesn't need to make the mark of genius to be happy i don't think lex...though i greatly appreciate your support, and everyone elses...its comforting to know you aren't alone in feeling something. chubby cherub, that's a great suggestion about locations, i will try to be mindful of it. and hawaii girl..thanks for the vote of confidence.

Curious...

You are young and smart... wish I could be young again... hmmm... maybe not!

One thing you should never do... settle for anything less than what you want when it comes to relationships. Keep looking and be patient. She is probably wondering the same thing, about meeting a guy just like yourself, right now. Be yourself and possibly look in areas where you hang out or would find common interests. Ex: if you are a book worm or a knowledge buff... heck I've seen some wonderful ladies at the library. If you are a techie, online is good. Just an idea...

Best of luck and have fun in your quest for love and adventure.

Curious22,
my first thought "good heaven, no" You should not change the way you are, nor your particular interests. Do you want to get to 40 and realize you cannot talk to your partner? I did not think so.

In that case, start checking out the libraries, can you find a book club, poetry club (I am working on the premise, if they like poetry - they could well enjoy literature).
Put your exploration skills to work and have fun :)

don't ever change your opinions on things or compromise your intelligents for a girl! be completely yourself. your better and more sure of yourself that way! :)

If they arent interested in any books????Is that possible? You need to stay true and if you stop looking it will come to you! Have you ever read Misfortune by Wesley Stace? - Great book!
Dawn
X

thanks britty and others who said that i shouldn't change myself..i happen to agree...i think partners who change core values or desires end up resenting each other's presence. (you can change little things like putting too much mayonaise in chicken salad, some compromise should be made, in my view, to remind us that we value the other person and the relationship, but never those things which are vital to us). I failed to communicate that belief before, what I was going for was that maybe I was misinterpreting my feelings, experiences, or needs. but thank you again, i really appreciate your advice..

Never change yourself, trust me, doesn't work. You'll find someone who has similar interests. Think of this, do you want to look at your wife/partner/whatever in 20 years and realize you have absolutely nothing to talk about except the mundane day-to-day business of life? No, didn't think so.

She's out there somewhere, you'll find her.

Suz

"13061977" I did read that..I felt the subject was similar on some levels to middlesex by jeffrey euginides though handled in an emotionally and stylistically different way. it encouraged me to reread middlesex to compare the two.

I agree with everyone above me who said do not change or compromise what you're looing for. It might work to initially attract someone, but eventually one or both of you will find the relationship unfulfilling.

An intellectual man? WOW! Yet again, too damn far away!

Is there no one that like to explore those thoughts in your college or university? Or do you want them to look beautiful too?

*whimpers* cute, smart, and too far away

I'm pretty, like intellectual men, blah blah blah... why all ya'll gotta be so damn far away?

Maybe there 's nothing wrong with the Woman You have been dating??

looking on the flip side maybe having your nose buried in a book 24/7 or reading literature may? give a Woman the impression that Your not really interested in them?

close the book and come up for some air once in a while smell the roses...

"Life" it's whats passing you by when you don't take the time to stop and look around.