Oh, and justification=horseshyte. I have the right to bear arms. I may be justified in using lethal force. No one ever has the "right" to kill.

Anyone out there been cheated on by a man who then had a baby as a result. Not together now. It was devastating

Well there are as you call it "dogs" everywhere..

On here I know of several that are in relationships and are very upfront and honest about it. Hell I have it all over my profile I have his pictures in my profile and I am still hit on, on a daily basis.

So not everyone that is married or in a relationship out here cheating we have been here for a long time have met some wonderful friends and we are still active forum users.


Now IMHO there are two kinds of cheaters...

The" physical" cheaters which will have sex with another while they are in a relationship...That type of cheater in my opinion is bad enough and yet an "Emotional cheater" is way worse. That is when someone is in a relationship and instead of sharing, and giving to their partner they are to another. When you start being intimate in the emotional sense you are taking from your partner and that is cheating in my book and not going to go there.

I have dated separated that one is dicey and well can lead to heartache. So I tend to stay away from it if at all possible.All depends on the details

there will be a million opinions

religiously speaking there should be 'divorce' papers before moving on

however, practically speaking,, there are 'open' marriages where both partners are ok with and have full knowledge that it is not monogamous relationship

there are also abandoned spouses who don't know where their partner went and haven't divorced but indeed do live single and alone


there are also those couples who have went separate ways, maintain separate homes and lives but just have never PAID for the documentation

there are also couples who are actually friends, and remain 'married' because they don't desire to put their partner through financial issues or interrupt their health care,,,etce,,etc,,


peoples comfort levels about these situations will vary,,

for me, realistically ANY body in ANY relationship who has broken up can decide to come back and try to make a go of it again, so I wouldn't be bothered by that as much as by my spiritual belief that its best to have the documentation,,, to put any potential new partners mind at ease and to live according to the word,,,

I would be open to 'dating' someone in some of these situations, where 'dating' has nothing to do with sex but only with developing a friendship and getting to know each other

I would never date those in ANY type of relationship where they have someone but they just don't feel 'satisfied' with them,,,

that relationship has to have separated on mutual terms, and not just one sided,,,

To me marriage and divorce are a state right, not to be confused with what you promised before God. In the case of Rusty Kitty, yes, I'm sure you promised in sickness and in health, until death. But to me, death can also include the soul leaving the body, and unfortunately, it seems god has called your husband's soul home, but left him breathing. So I can see, how you feel that you are a widow and after serving your husband's needs it's time for you to cater to yours.

I'm sorry if I offend anybody, but due to the US Supreme Court ruling concerning marriage, I now feel that marriage and divorce are a joke. It just opened the door to polygamy, then what animals? And if you are smart, you wouldn't just leave it up to the state to determine what to do with your assets when you pass concerning your widow and children. So what, here in Ohio, your widow gets first crack at the house and two cars. Really, as in my brother's case when he passed, his wife got the house and two of his cars, before his kids from his first wife got anything. So what, he had a mortgage and two car payments, and life insurance that went to his kids. She was able to stay in the house for less than six months before being forced to sell it. The cars? what do you think, the bank took them.

So married, separated, single, divorced or widowed, don't worry about these so called State laws and rights, but do what you feel is right knowing that you might have to justify your actions in front of the pearly gates.

So True

Totally agree 100 %

Yes. Marriage and divorce laws both vary state to state. Each state sets it's own age of consent, it's own definition of legal separation, it's own rules of "common law" marriage, and on and on.

In many states (other than mine, unfortunately), after you've spent thousands of dollars on lawyers and court costs to perform the required Legal Separation agreements, and then remained apart the required amount of time (which varies state to state), then you can, for a VERY small fee, have the divorce finalized and be done with it.

In Virginia, although my VERY expensive legal separation spells out directly that we can proceed with our lives as though we are completely divorced, without it affecting our liabilities in any way...

...converting it to a full divorce will cost even MORE thousands of dollars and more lawyers, and more court time, none of which I have (no need to say why here). In fact the laws in Virginia seem to be written specifically to make sure that lawyers make a ton of money, because they say we can file for divorce without a lawyer, but that the entire Court system full of people are PROHIBITED from telling us how to do it. And if we so much as forget to dot an I, or put a period in the wrong place, our forms will be rejected, our court fees confiscated, and additional penalties attached for wasting the courts time.

If I lived in my birth state (Oregon), I would have been divorced a long time ago. Since I live in Virginia, I'm still officially scum in the OP's thinking, because I'm still only Legally Separated.

Oh well.

But I don't mind a bit that many people have personal rules such that they treat me like a Leper. I've had more than one friend burned by getting involved with someone who either claimed to be separated but was not even that, or who was separated, but ended up using the people they dated while separated, to help them figure out that they really wanted to stay with their original mate.

The only thing I do point out to those who rant about such things, is that they aren't as safe as they think they are. I've also had plenty of friends and acquaintances get burned in exactly the same way with fully divorced people, and with never-married people.

It's the individual person who is or isn't self-knowledgeable and honorable. The labels they have or are allowed to claim, don't mean a darn thing.

In general, I tend to recommend against going to the trouble of pointing at others who you DON'T want to risk time with, and coming up with nasty names to call them.

Quite aside from the fact that you will often be wrong, it doesn't actually ACCOMPLISH anything for you. You aren't safer from being emotionally ripped off by a separated person because you called them out as a "cheater" or as a "dog."

Name-calling usually stains the soul the person calling the names, more than the people they are shouting at.

im single but still married. Been separated 4yrs now. Not divorced yet. I live by myself. The ex lives with her man. We don't even talk to each other unless it's about the kids. There's no drama or whatever. And she's the one that was cheating and walked out on me and the kids. We're still married due to having a house and cars and kids ... she doesn't want child support. Neither do i. And neither of us want a court to decide on visitation and all that ****... so we just parted ways and that's it... so many ppl focus on the fact of being married... but hey, they don't care if they're sleeping with a married person and destroying a family!! So every situation is different... don't be so judgmental... i value the sanctity of marriage. It hurt me to the core when my ex left,.. but it's over and it's all good now... i don't fell like i should not be able to move on just because i'm still legally married.... anyways. Just my two cents worth...

Good on ya. 2 cents well spent. I'll have no truck with cheaters tho'. Judge me as you will.

AGREE 100%