I disagree with this statement. Until and unless there is not harm involved to any one, we can't say it's cheating. In addition, we gotto learn a lot from other people.

huh weird divorce laws must vary from state to state then..

I know we were told by attorneys not to even contemplate dating til the divorce was final

why? because that can be used as evidence of infidelity when deciding custody and which parent the kid lives with


the problem with being separated but not divorced is that they can decide to return to the spouse and make another go of the marriage..kinda risky dating one

oh and as far was what constitutes cheating..


depends on your definition
does it mean the actual act of having sex or does it mean the intimacy, conversation, flirting that would go along with talking to someone new?



to me? it is that moment..when it goes from a passing fancy of
" oh isn't she attractive"
to
" I wonder if I got a shot with her"

that is called monkey branching by the way

setting up something new while still in old relationship
so when you want to
you can just jump to that new one that is already been established

lot of people do not like to be alone

What you like,what you want, may be very different from what is right

awwwww sure bring morals into it

Lets drop the morals then.Is it cheating ?

hmmmm..

then it becomes two people who have decided to commit to a contract with one another either spoken or written and signed in legal jargon


this contract has certain 'rules' or boundaries/guidelines on behavior
that have either been explicitly drawn out by the ones involved or they have left it rather vague and have assumed that each partner going into this contractual relationship understands the boundaries

There are some cases in which cheating is justified. I have a friend who works hard and takes care of his family. He told me he is a high libido guy but his wife only give him sex every six month. He ended up cheating with another woman. In my opinion he did the right thing. It is better to release the sexual tension than to burn and be unhappy. Sometimes women attitudes turn men into cheaters

people often have a great deal of justifications, excuses for choosing to do what they do in this life


by pointing that finger of blame at someone or something outside of themselves they never have to accept responsibility for their own choices or behaviors



which takes me back to unwritten expectations and assumptions in a relationship..that people feel they are 'entitled' to and if those expectations are not met then they some how feel justified in stepping outside of that contract

i have a question , inspite of knowing someone is in a relationship, girls still fall for them ... why is it so ? Like one lady posted ... why cant the others be like that. i think that is what gives a chance to cheaters anyway.

I was told by my "spouse" even before filing to go to find a someone who will give what she wasn't for several years. Ok. I haven't done anything like that although was encouraged to do so. So to me cheating is not before the legal law of marriage. But rather for the intimate or not so intimate relationship between two pple. And what about an open marriages? So they must be prosecuted too as they have sex with whoever they want? So it is not the law nor the church states of what is cheating but only two pple engaged in the relationship. So I will not agree with the original thread author on the topic about cheating. That's my view.

We've dropped the moral,now lets drop the legal and talk common sense or have you got another diversionary tactic

what is it you are asking me? do I believe it is ever justified? no I do not but then again I was a faithful wife for 20 years


hhahahaa..thought ya knew me didn't ya

never diversionary tactics with me

but in order to argue for or against something
you should at least be aware of the opposing point of view yes?

I don't believe there are any circumstances when cheating is justified.Two wrongs never made a right.Your friends solution may be expedient but it is still cheating.There are upfront ways of dealing with his situation.Cheating by definition is wrong.There is no defence as long as you define his actions as cheating.

what is it you are asking me? do I believe it is ever justified? no I do not but then again I was a faithful wife for 20 years


hhahahaa..thought ya knew me didn't ya

never diversionary tactics with me

but in order to argue for or against something
you should at least be aware of the opposing point of view yes?


No I knew very little about you.I know a little more now.But I do like what I see.And yes.

wait
when i filed for my divorce
my ex hubby was with another girl
they had a child together, he cheated
on her with his 2nd wife
he told her we were already divorced
he lied to her.. they got together in the summer
our divorce was not finalized untill september 1989-90
and i was in a relationship as well ( about 4months before my divorce was final.
when we went to our divorce hearing
if the judge would had ask
why i wanted a divorce
i would had said his gf is right behind me
yes he was a idiot he brought
his gf in our divorce hearing

/quote]

I don't believe there are any circumstances when cheating is justified.Two wrongs never made a right.Your friends solution may be expedient but it is still cheating.There are upfront ways of dealing with his situation.Cheating by definition is wrong.There is no defence as long as you define his actions as cheating.

Am I a cheater??
I have a husband who is in stage 6 of alzheimers (almost last stage). He hasn't known who I am for years, and its only through my grace that he's still living at home and not in a facility. His brain is broken and he doesn't know his family. I love him to bits, but..
I feel like a widow - have had no affection for years.. I have decided to start to live a more single lifestyle.. and yea, if that includes a hookup and a chance for some lovin'.. I'm in! Am I a cheater? I don't feel like one.

RustyKitty
Am I a cheater??
I have a husband who is in stage 6 of alzheimers (almost last stage). He hasn't known who I am for years, and its only through my grace that he's still living at home and not in a facility. His brain is broken and he doesn't know his family. I love him to bits, but..
I feel like a widow - have had no affection for years.. I have decided to start to live a more single lifestyle.. and yea, if that includes a hookup and a chance for some lovin'.. I'm in! Am I a cheater? I don't feel like one.


Emphatically no, you are not a cheater
Cheating is deceiving or defrauding For all intents and purposes your marriage ceased some years ago.I would guess that you would be entitled to a divorce on some grounds (not familiar with US law).You have remained faithful to your partner in a most admirable manner.I assume you made an agreement " in sickness and in health til death us do part".You have a right to terminate that agreement.You have chosen to terminate,you are not deceiving anybody.I believe you will continue to honor other parts of that agreement because of your own sense of honor.I and most reasonable people will admire you for the way you have handled this situation.You are the one who has been cheated by lifes vagaries.I wish you happiness,

Am I a cheater??
I have a husband who is in stage 6 of alzheimers (almost last stage). He hasn't known who I am for years, and its only through my grace that he's still living at home and not in a facility. His brain is broken and he doesn't know his family. I love him to bits, but..
I feel like a widow - have had no affection for years.. I have decided to start to live a more single lifestyle.. and yea, if that includes a hookup and a chance for some lovin'.. I'm in! Am I a cheater? I don't feel like one.
If i were your husband I would have wanted you to get some sweet loving on the side

^^^^not^^^^
If I were your husband I would prefer the old pillow to the puss before knowing that you cheated on me (that's why so many suicides involved in infidelity cases). In previous posts, DIVORCE is the operative word.