I haven't been living too long, but I've come to one conclusion in relationships:

The very thing that strongly attracts you to someone, is the very thing that will get on your last nerve after marriage.

Whatcha think?

I dont agree.

Don't agree... the stuff that bothered me in the beginning, bothered me even MORE later.

Hmmmmm...I think when I was younger, what I perceived to be an attractive quality, became annoying, when it was in reality very different to my perception.

I was attracted to my children's father, for his silences, his apparent strength, and his apparent calm demeanour...

In truth his silences were of contempt and disdain, his strengths were arrogance and aloofness, and his calm demeanour, was a mask, to tightly control his temper.

Was he less in my eyes? No, I had just decided for him what he was, and what I wanted him to be.

Now I allow others to be them, to show me their inner qualities.

I have learnt so much more by stepping back and allowing others to be themselves.

ur statement is very broad
what is that very thing that u r talking about

I would tend to say then, that you need to rethink what is attracting you. Basically your perceptions are tainted from the truth?

i can see how somethings that would be attractive at first can become annoying later on but not all things,so i'm kinda indifferent on this.

Thanks for the comments.

I'll give a couple of examples of what I mean:

For me, my ex-wife has always been a very independent woman. It attracted me at first, but then I found that it grew to get on my nerves. I learned to just take her for who she was, but I was constantly adjusting to her more independent Type A personality...

I've seen buddies get attracted to a woman for their beauty and seductive appearance, but then they'd get all upset when the women dressed the same way without them...

Or what about my boy who met his wife while she was flirting and engaged to some other fool. They dated for a years without a problem. Got married and within 6 months, she cheated on him with some other guy...

Very different examples. I'm interested in your thoughts...

Just curious

I'd say there is often both a positive and negative reflection of certain qualities. In the beginning, the positive side attracts us, and in time the negative side bothers us. It is the 2 sides of the same personality trait. For instance, my ex was impulsive and romantic and spontaneous. In the beginning that was fun and passionate...but the flip side was that same passion and impulse also made him to be irresponsible, selfish and insensitive.

Texasrose, I think you hit the nail on the head. That's exactly what I'm talking about.

The Ying and the Yang...

I'll say no.

I have to agree with the OP on this one......some of the things that we are sooooooooo attracted to drives us insane in the end.....like someone that is too personable......it can drive the other crazy because they want a quiet night with you and you have all these friends for example......

Like Johnson, Eric and BOB?

Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

And why is everyone so jealous of my imaginary bf and my heating pad and geeeeeez I dont have a bob but Im gonna get one just you wait!!!!

the best advice right at this point.....hmn.....

get yourself a chucky!

I do have to agree with you!! In the beginning when I first started dating my ex husband..notice I said ex!! He was always a jokester..in the beginning I thought it was funny..but then no matter what, he was always joking around, even at times when he should have been serious.
Now I look back and think geesh that was a sign that I should have picked up on how immature he was. We were not on the same maturity level EVER!!
Plus in the beginning he would go out and buy me flowers once a week for no reason. I thought it was sweet and I loved it. BUT when we got married I was like OK you can stop now....that money can go for other things!! He spent money on flowers that was just going to die, when that money could have went for bills that needed to be paid!! Again, not thinking ahead!!
I do know exactly what you mean by this post...great post

Thanks unsure.

I guess this is a mixed feeling post. But, I'm quite confident that this is true in far more relationships than not. Even in those that don't end up bad...

I've often wondered that very same thing.

it's all relative it depends on what your expectations are and how they change over time, think twice I guess before taking the leap and then finding out ya wanna pull the rip cord on that parachute a few years down the road. for Me it would be selfish to expect these qualities that attracted Me in the first place to change in that other person to cater to my needs as an individual. Accepting that other Person for who they are is what makes a relationship successful long term.

maybe it's an excuse pin pointing something we no longer like about someone , if anything I have learned ....what comes around goes around ...

What ever happened to those vows????? in sickness and in bordom.............I missed that one....

I won't get in to that whole Buyer beware thing........LOL.

nope don't agree. because u look back to remember those first incounters. not to be like ew that's how i fell in love with you