It is so sad. Majority of the women i have spoken to here have been through a series of bad relationships. Their hearts are broken, they are suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. I think some of them need professional help. They are so scared to give up the ***** because they don't want another hit and run. Some are struggling economically and they want a relationship with the man who will help out with the bills. Some have built a strong brick wall around them and it will be very hard for them to let anyone in

Thats all i ever hear from woman your damaged goods and why just because a relationship didnt work out and either still has thoughts about the other people need to trust and form a friendship so trust can be built on a new relationship it takes time to trust again but with the right lady behind you it gets easier ive been there with stress,depression and anxiety a nice lady saw through all this and is helping me through it by being friends and building something worth while so come on people yes there are people out there that are DAMAGED GOODS but give them a chance be a human being show a bit of compassion ...

You are right Cystal some dwell in the past and just because someone treated them one way in the past, does not mean the next one will treat them the same way.

I have heard guys say they will never do this or that for another woman same with women.. Myself when I hear that I back away really fast. Why? because I was not the one that did them that way and I feel that each relationship, one should give their all and do for them as they did for others in the past.. We all deserve to be given the chance they gave another.. And yes as soon as I hear that I do let them know that the word never within a relationship should not be said to the other.. I will never marry again or I will never do this for another woman/man. And many times I have had them look at it in a different way and say you know you are right.. I should not close my heart off and not be willing to give all if the moment arises..

I feel trust should be given till they give you a reason not too.. Just the way I feel.. Now once that trust is broken sure it is hard to regain.

I absolutely totally and wholeheartedly agree with you!

sloppy seconds?

ewwwww hehe

a whiner?

maybe...

damaged goods
could be many things Kitty dear
it all depends on who is saying it
and in which context

some would say it means "unvirgin state" or second hand
some might say it means such an emotional state, it can't be corrected or in simple terms, they say "they got issues"

it sure could mean many other things

hope that explains a bit for u

With Love,
LIFE

When I got divorced back in 2007, it took me about a year before I was ready to date. So I did....and after two relationships that ended I kept wondering if I was damaged. I thought something was wrong with me. It wasn't long after this that I ran into my ex-wife (this was about four years after our divorce). When I saw her I took one look at her and did not see the person that I once knew. All I saw was a fake smile, her attitude had changed, and in that moment I realized that I had been lucky.....lucky that I was no longer with her. When I drove off I realized that I had finally reached closure on her and what we had. It was like a weight lifted off of me and I moved along knowing that what had been holding me back was my inability to find that closure. I wasn't damaged....I just didn't want to end something I had worked so hard for.

To me, we can all make ourselves feel damaged. Life has a funny way of doing that....especially when we have had failed relationships. I dated a girl once who had never had a good, solid relationship with a man....until me. When we ended things I told her that I had hoped that at the very least I had shown her that there are good men out there...even better than me for her. Sometimes all we need is for someone to just believe in us that we can be more than we think we can be. So in conclusion....damaged is all a state of mind....IMHO.

after my divorce I went thru a kind of mourning period
even though I was the one who filed
I was the one who chose after 20 years to walk away

I was the one that was a big ole hot mess
for quite awhile

one minute sad, the next hostile, the next confident in my choice

topsy turvy for awhile


it would have been bad, bad, bad if I had run out and latched on to some poor guy at that time

Ohh.. could I tell you stories about women that are completely damaged goods..omg... if I have to listen to one more story about how their husband did this or he did that.. I swear I'm going to jump off a bridge..lol.. well maybe just push them off the bridge

TMommy. I agree with all your posts in this thread.

I think damaged goods is a horrible term. We are people, not goods. We also are all at different places in our journeys. Some are broken. Some are whole. Most are somewhere in the middle.

Many expect a healthy relationship, yet are not willing to be patient and work on themselves to be healthy before they jump into a relationship. I think out of respect for others, you need to take a long hard look at yourself and what you have to offer in a relationship. If you are honest with yourself and discover things that may need 'fixing' in you. Do the work, see a counselor or whatever is needed.
Sabotage is a great word for fear btw

Personally if I did any more work on myself I would be freaking Frankenstein...lol.. I'm a monster

Physician...know thyself.

I think it is heal thyself... but yes I know myself as well.. boy oh boy do I know myself..lol.wink

Damaged goods implies bent, twisted, or quite a few cracks, but not FUBAR.

Socrates, I was doing a spin on PHD (doctorate)lol

My ex might have been all kinds of crazy but I never really saw her as damaged goods. Sure, she had been through some stuff but she came through it. I was the one that was stuck in the past and kept going on about it and she was a good listner to a point but she said to me that she didn't want to talk about that and she wanted to think of now and the future. She just couldn't see a future with me and she just saw a guy that was broken that she tried to help. That's what she kept telling me anyway.

? why would you do that?
hard to go into the future when you can't forgive and forget about the past.
Your ex is quite right, and apparently, You are the 'damaged goods' of which you've spoken about in your life.. You need to move on.
No one likes to be around a 'Debbie Downer'..
good luck in your search, you are not the droid I am looking for..

well i think damaged could be when people are closed minded like hating all men or women because 1 or more screwed them over maybe damaged could be an addiction issue that someone can't seem to overcome some people could feel like they are damaged but in time things are good again I wouldn't refer to anyone as damaged goods

All I know is I'm damaged beyond repair.. but I'm okay with that!! ..

this reminds me of the story about bullying where a teacher asked the class to crumple a piece of paper and then unfold it.

she them said see thise wrinkles apologize to the paper until they go away, but the students realized that no matter how hard they tried the 'scars' remained.

personally I think the lesson was cut short.

I think life is like that piece of paper, we will get stomped, crumpled, crinkled, etc....

but the actual reason for paper is so we can write on it, even crumpled paper is still useful, it still serves it's primary purpose.

just because something appears damaged at first, doesn't mean it is necessarily garbage

Oh well. I'll try to get over that then darling.

It's not really your business what my ex and I talked about but I was still trying to deal with some issues from my childhood. It was stuff that I had never really had someone that I felt that I could talk about to before I met her.