While I appreciate being looked upon by youthful beauty it is a waste of your time to expect anything from me but a thank you.

I am looking for real beauty. That only comes when youth has been tempered by life...

Am I the only one that feels this?

Actually I think in our youth we look for the outer beauty more than we do the inner, as we age we begin to realize the outer is going to go at some point in time and well we had better have been working in the inner.

You have the right of it I reckon. In my youth I had not yet been tempered by life either.

No; a lot of us feel this and not all of us have to be all that old before we grasp the concept.

It isn't necessary that real beauty only comes when youth is tempered by life, actually it is psychological process. Real beauty has nothing to do with materialism, as I think....

Reality has a tendency to rub away the materialism leaving but the beauty.

True...

I need to find a woman attractive, I agree there is a lot more attraction by personality and character, which is discovered in time, but those are not necessarily age related in my opinion. Without some initial physical attraction for me it's doubtful there would be any progress, that's not to say they would need to look like a beauty queen.

I don't quite understand what ure saying here adventure
Are u saying youth isn't beauty?
And what do u define as beauty?
And what do u mean by tempered with life?
Or is it simply mean ure looking for a more matured person?

Yes ... that's why older men break their necks and start drooling when a gorgeous 18 year old walks past, regardless if they're with a real beauty that's was tempered by life.
Probably thinking "Dang! If only I'd been younger, I could have that!"

I've had both and there's something to be said for both of them. Had a relationship with a middle aged woman and then dated another one because I had come around to the "age appropriate" thing by doing it and spending years trying to keep a relationship with her going.

I thought that I would be getting the same sort of thing with that next woman but if anything what that woman had been through had made her ugly and she was damaged goods for sure. I couldn't see past her physical imperfections like I could with my ex and it's not far from the truth to say that my ex was just like a comfortable pair of old slippers that I had become used to.

I went back to dating younger again after that. I don't know if I have the patience to deal through a woman's years of baggage again just to find her so-called "real beauty". I've done it once and it was no walk in the park. And yes, if you start off with them already looking beautiful to you it's easier to overlook and come to love their non-physical imperfections.

if all you are interested in is the skin that someone comes wrapped in? then yes I could see why a younger package would be appealing to some even though they realize the package they are in is not so young anymore

if you are only interested in how good a woman looks on your arm or how long her legs are or her hair, eye color then you will never look beyond that

like buying a car just because "it's perty"

I hear that statement quite a bit ya know
older women have too much baggage
as if somehow, older men have escaped being influenced by circumstances they have lived thru in life

if all you are looking for is a superficial surface level 'relationship' with someone..ya know someone to go out to dinner with, take home for holidays and show off to family, someone you can gripe to on phone about your day and someone good in bed..

you are 'fond' of this person for all that she may provide for you as long as she continues to do these things but..if she opens her mouth and actually becomes human and speaks of wants, needs, good days, bad days, worries and concerns well now she got waaaaaaaaaay too much baggage

well I forgot where I was going with this..whew must need more coffee
oh then I would argue there was no real love in first place
if you love someone..really love them you accept that whole package
good and bad of who they really are as a person

I certainly don't just look for that in a woman and personality is at least as important. A man is just as entitled to want "the full package" as a woman is and if he likes her as a person and also finds her hot that's ideal.

If men are just shallow and concerned with looks it's the women that spend all that time and money that they do to try to enhance or maintain their appearance. It's possibly the number one thing that women are insecure about. It's a major hassle having to continually reassure them that they're not ugly. At least with the younger ones you can avoid all that drama. They'll believe you if you tell them that they look beautiful. They probably assume that you're interested in them because of that. I tell a twenty five year old that it's fine that she's got a fat arse because that's what I like and if I say the same thing to a forty five year old she'll throw a fit.

You are not the only one. Many of us have truly experienced life and understand that concept.

Yes.

Okie dokie

I would agree 100% as long as they maintain a fit body also, beauty and fitness go hand in hand in my eyes, if they care so little for their body to smoke or not exercise, they can go sit on a couch with someone else!

Just my opinion and we all know what opinions are like

I don't think you are the only one who feels that way....I am sure there are still people who appreciates inner beauty more than just the superficial. Beauty fades as time goes by but the real beauty that lies within the center of one's core being is a golden heart ; polished through times of hardships , pains, struggles and have gained wisdom and true compassion that had been gathered from life's journey is the real essence of a beautiful person shining from within.

There are many gems around, attractive ones but rarely you can find a real gem , priceless and valuable .

Yes. I've got plenty of baggage too and maybe more than most. My point is that I've already had the experience with discovering this "real beauty" that only comes with a crapload of baggage and now that I've seen it it's my turn and I've been dating younger ladies that maybe decide that a man with a past and "experience" is interesting.

I'm not looking for that in a woman. Mature women are only better in bed if you don't know what you're doing yourself and I already know what it was like in the eighties. It was bloody awful and the music was crap. It's not my idea of a fun date arguing with a woman about the miners strike and rubbish pop groups. I'm not going to fall out with a twenty five year old because I say that The Smiths or Bon Jovi are shite. She's not going to care if I don't even know who One direction are.

That they have a more enlightened or inspired idea or definition of beauty, that their idea is more visceral and real and evolved, ultimately making them better than others, more justified in their judgments and valuations of others?

No, everyone seems to feel the same way as that but come to it from different directions sometimes.

Other than that my experience with what's in the OP is most bring up the whole subject of what's "really" beauty (on a dating website, when it comes to people) in an attempt to have their subjective dating standards validated.

Or "I'm not settling because I can't make a relationship work with a young hottie due to my insecurities, no! I...uh...like 'matured' and 'older' and 'tempered by life,' yeah, that's it...because...uh...they know what they want, yeah, and um, they're more mature, and, uh, they're tempered by life."

People tend to throw the rationalizing Vaseline on the lens of their perspective to make their realistic dating pool more palatable and and proof of what "good" and "mature" and "desirable" people they are.

So many threads with "I'm not shallow and a bad person because of my preferences! I'm secure in what I want to get!" are made.

Still numerous, but less so, the thread of "My preferences prove I'm a good and better person! I'm not insecure about what I can't get!"

It's all the same.