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Topic: What does unconditional love ...
mysticalview21's photo
Tue 09/15/15 06:01 AM
mean to you... and do you have that with anyone ...

unicornish's photo
Tue 09/15/15 06:12 AM
I double that question... I mean after 2 failed marriages... and couple serious long very intimate romantic deep strong relationships, one would think you know what that is. Truth is, there's nothing called unconditional love... there is always "sooner or later" expectations and taking for granted and and and too many spoilers.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Tue 09/15/15 06:13 AM

mean to you... and do you have that with anyone ...

To me that means that you love the other as is, regardless. Doesn't mean to say you have to accept everything someone else does, cause you should also love yourself unconditionally (which most of us find even more difficult to do).
I think unconditional love is mostly -if not only- between parent and child.
For most it's impossible to love another than a child (and maybe parents) unconditionally cos we all still have our own pasts, traumas, insecurities etc etc etc
That is my view, not a judgement. To me it's the energy of Mother Mary and Jesus. Pure, from the heart, no judgement.

Apart from my children, I have moments that I can feel that, for everything and everyone. Not easy to hold on to that vibe though. Basically you gotta let go of your ego...

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Tue 09/15/15 06:15 AM
Edited by SparklingCrystal 💖💎 on Tue 09/15/15 06:16 AM
Oh... concerning relationships ... I find it easier to come close to feeling unconditional love for my ex-partners AFTER the relationships than during ...
Because now, after, I have no expectations, desires, needs etc. anymore. So again, ego isn't involved.
.
.

no photo
Tue 09/15/15 12:31 PM
What does unconditional love mean to you

It means someone is being silly and childish.

do you have that with anyone

Thank god no, if I thought I did it would mean I was silly and childish.

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Tue 09/15/15 01:06 PM
Being a fairly literal person as well as literate, U.L. means to me exactly what the words say it means.

From my life experience, I have concluded that it isn't something anyone chooses to feel or to give, it is something that a person recognizes they already obey.

I now separate it from intentional commitment. That is a DECISION a person can make.

I suspect that the reason why some people say as someone did above, that U.L. is "childish," or otherwise nonsense or fantasy, is due to their experiencing the large number of people who don't actually know what it is, and instead substitute some fable-sourced imitation for it. Lots of people, especially when younger, think all there is to happily ever after, is to say some lust-engorged phrases to each other, and then dive in. When they discover that there's more to it than that, they often get bitter and/or get caught up in rebuilding their sense of being "cool," by loudly proclaiming all things romantic to be BS.

But love is real, deep love is real, and unconditional love is real. It's just that it's more complicated than just sitting around feeling wonderful all the time. Actually, because it IS real, and IS unconditional, those who experience it often suffer a great deal because of it.

Only those who swear by CONDITIONAL "love," manage to have a good time all the time.

prashant01's photo
Tue 09/15/15 01:18 PM

What does unconditional love mean to you

It means someone is being silly and childish.

do you have that with anyone

Thank god no, if I thought I did it would mean I was silly and childish.



laugh laugh laugh

The world is full of such philosophers...:smile:

Rock's photo
Tue 09/15/15 06:03 PM
In theory, unconditional love can be an awesome thing.

However,
due to expectations, unconditional love can become a condition, in and of itself.

Kevin's photo
Wed 09/16/15 09:38 AM
If someone asks for unconditional love, I'll run. I think they want someone who will love them and be nice to them even if they are neglectful and/or abusive. If you want unconditional love, get a dog - but even then it can turn on you if abused enough.

no photo
Wed 09/16/15 10:17 AM
I think unconditional love is an affection for someone with no reservations,limitations, expectations, qualifications, conditions , only total abandonment of oneself in loving someone, absolutely selfless, not thinking of what you can get from the other person but only what you can give with nothing in return. A life giving emotion that aims to fully satisfy and make someone happy and secured, can be exhilarating, painful and draining sometimes but you don't really mind coz u have more patience to bear it all and always ready to make a sacrifice of your own happiness for the sake of a valuable person to you.......remembering the love I had before , yeah I think I have that one. Thankful enough that I have learned so much from it keeping me steadfast with my faith that God will give me the desires of my heart. I may have lost that love but I still keep on hoping one day I will find that kind of love again , in God's will:smile: :angel: love

MelMaxx's photo
Wed 09/16/15 11:55 AM
Edited by MelMaxx on Wed 09/16/15 11:57 AM

Being a fairly literal person as well as literate, U.L. means to me exactly what the words say it means.

From my life experience, I have concluded that it isn't something anyone chooses to feel or to give, it is something that a person recognizes they already obey.

I now separate it from intentional commitment. That is a DECISION a person can make.

I suspect that the reason why some people say as someone did above, that U.L. is "childish," or otherwise nonsense or fantasy, is due to their experiencing the large number of people who don't actually know what it is, and instead substitute some fable-sourced imitation for it. Lots of people, especially when younger, think all there is to happily ever after, is to say some lust-engorged phrases to each other, and then dive in. When they discover that there's more to it than that, they often get bitter and/or get caught up in rebuilding their sense of being "cool," by loudly proclaiming all things romantic to be BS.

But love is real, deep love is real, and unconditional love is real. It's just that it's more complicated than just sitting around feeling wonderful all the time. Actually, because it IS real, and IS unconditional, those who experience it often suffer a great deal because of it.

Only those who swear by CONDITIONAL "love," manage to have a good time all the time.



:thumbsup:
I have thought about this thread and trying to say what I mean...Eyegore seemed to say it correctly in my opinion.

And YES, I have unconditional love for a few peeps in my life, which DOES include an ex that I dated for 3 years. Like quoted above, I sometimes "suffer" because of that love.

456tessa's photo
Wed 09/16/15 12:07 PM
I have just recently heard this:
Old Greeks had a few expressions for love, two of them are PHILIA and AGAPE. PHILIA is often translated as "affection" or "brotherly love", while AGAPE is often associated with "Christian love" or "the highest form of love". However, what really differs them is that PHILIA means that we love somebody because of the things we like about them, while AGAPE means we love somebody even though we don't like everything about them (we accept all).
According to this, AGAPE is then closest to the so called UNCONDITIONAL LOVE in my opinion, but i don't think that means that we have to put up with the abuse or such, but that we accept the other person's different tastes or ways of life, their virtues and vices..... which is still hard sometimes...ohwell

mysticalview21's photo
Sun 10/18/15 04:09 PM
Edited by mysticalview21 on Sun 10/18/15 04:10 PM

If someone asks for unconditional love, I'll run. I think they want someone who will love them and be nice to them even if they are neglectful and/or abusive. If you want unconditional love, get a dog - but even then it can turn on you if abused enough.





I don't believe I have known anyone who has asked for unconditioned love except maybe preachers ... I believe it is feelings you can have with someone... that is in a perfect world would not hurt each other ... and you have had to have the feeling in life at one time to understand what that kind of love is ...

1onlyaname's photo
Sun 10/18/15 04:38 PM
I met a woman who captured my heart. Everytime I turned around this woman was doing random acts of kindness. We have been friends n lovers for 5 years. It seems all the kindness I've seen outwieghs any mistakes she makes. I will always love her.

Tomishereagain's photo
Sun 10/18/15 05:20 PM


mean to you... and do you have that with anyone ...

To me that means that you love the other as is, regardless. Doesn't mean to say you have to accept everything someone else does, cause you should also love yourself unconditionally (which most of us find even more difficult to do).
I think unconditional love is mostly -if not only- between parent and child.
For most it's impossible to love another than a child (and maybe parents) unconditionally cos we all still have our own pasts, traumas, insecurities etc etc etc
That is my view, not a judgement. To me it's the energy of Mother Mary and Jesus. Pure, from the heart, no judgement.

Apart from my children, I have moments that I can feel that, for everything and everyone. Not easy to hold on to that vibe though. Basically you gotta let go of your ego...


As always ~ Well Said!

I thought I loved my X unconditionally. She made it a point to break that love. And...It did Break.

I love my children unconditionally, of that, I have no doubt.

I TRY to love unconditionally. But, being still on this dating site and single I have fouund that its just not possible with any new relationship.

I WANT to love someone unconditionally. I do strive for that. See, I can handle the bad with the good. What I can't handle is the LIES.
If she will lie to me about something she will lie to me about anything. Including her proclaimed love for me. I don't go out of my way to catch anyone in a lie. I am, however, intelligent enough and attentive enough that the lies seem to present themselves.

Do I lie? Yes. I lie about things that don't really matter to the relationship. I might colorfully expand a story about my military service or add extras to an accounting of my high school years.

I NEVER claim my love for any woman unless I feel it. I just don't work that way. I ALWAYS try to keep my word. If I am asked to attend a function and I cannot say yes and mean it I will not say yes. I say "I will Try". Life gets in the way of commitments, I understand that. I would rather hear her say "I might love you" and be sincere than have her tell me she loves me and not really mean it.

I think unconditional love is an affection for someone with no reservations,limitations, expectations, qualifications, conditions , only total abandonment of oneself in loving someone, absolutely selfless, not thinking of what you can get from the other person but only what you can give with nothing in return. A life giving emotion that aims to fully satisfy and make someone happy and secured, can be exhilarating, painful and draining sometimes but you don't really mind coz u have more patience to bear it all and always ready to make a sacrifice of your own happiness for the sake of a valuable person to you.......remembering the love I had before , yeah I think I have that one. Thankful enough that I have learned so much from it keeping me steadfast with my faith that God will give me the desires of my heart. I may have lost that love but I still keep on hoping one day I will find that kind of love again , in God's will

Unconditional Love is very much like that.
I feel that way about God and my Children.

To expect that kind of love from your someone special is extremely demanding. It taxes your faith in the other person just trying to maintain that ideal.
For a life partner, Adoring Love is much more appropriate. There is always going to be a line that cannot be crossed. I think it is foolish to think otherwise. People are flawed. Nobody can be as pure as Christ. Forgiveness is flawed if you have to keep forgiving someone for their discretions. My x stepped out on me three times during our marriage and I forgave her every time. She went to jail for being a horrible human being many times and I forgave her. One day ~ After learning of her drug use and activities while I was working I finally said enough is enough.
Could I have forgiven her again...probably. Problem was, I do love myself unconditionally and this relationship was detrimental to my well-being.
After it was over - my friends came to me and let me in on all the little secrets she had been keeping from me. Problem was, I knew about most of it. I tolerated it for love.

AdventureBegins's photo
Sun 10/18/15 06:03 PM
Before you can love another unconditionally you must first love yourself, unconditionally. :)

no photo
Sun 10/18/15 06:19 PM
Unconditional Love/Behaviour- Oct 15, 2015

8 Ways You're Giving Other People Control Of Your Life (Without Even Realizing It) | Bustle

http://www.bustle.com/articles/76530-8-ways-youre-giving-other-people-control-of-your-life-without-even-realizing-it/

Why We Need to Resurrect Our Souls - The Chronicle of Higher Education

http://chronicle.com/article/Why-We-Need-to-Resurrect-Our/232369?cid=trend_right_wc/

Goofball73's photo
Sun 10/18/15 08:26 PM
To me it's the moment when you decide that being selfish isn't making you happy. I'm not talking about forgetting your own dreams, or submitting yourself to someone who won't give in as well. I'm talking about meeting someone and realizing that you share a different kind of love with that person. You wake and decide that being with that person means more to you than being alone. They become a reason for you to submit your feelings into their own and thus you decide to work together to find a way to make a life with one another. You act them for all that they are but most of all you love every little flaw that that person has. You don't demand that they conform to you....you simply talk to them and find a way to make every little disagreement work. Basically....if two people are truly in love then they will move Heaven and Earth to be with each other for a long time. That's unconditional love.

Kindlightheart's photo
Sun 10/18/15 09:43 PM

mean to you... and do you have that with anyone ...

Unconditional love...total acceptance of who they are...and I have that for my children... I couldn't love a man like that...just my kids..flowerforyou

Tomishereagain's photo
Sun 10/18/15 11:16 PM


mean to you... and do you have that with anyone ...

Unconditional love...total acceptance of who they are...and I have that for my children... I couldn't love a man like that...just my kids..flowerforyou


A nice honest answer - thank you!

To me it's the moment when you decide that being selfish isn't making you happy. I'm not talking about forgetting your own dreams, or submitting yourself to someone who won't give in as well. I'm talking about meeting someone and realizing that you share a different kind of love with that person. You wake and decide that being with that person means more to you than being alone. They become a reason for you to submit your feelings into their own and thus you decide to work together to find a way to make a life with one another. You act them for all that they are but most of all you love every little flaw that that person has. You don't demand that they conform to you....you simply talk to them and find a way to make every little disagreement work. Basically....if two people are truly in love then they will move Heaven and Earth to be with each other for a long time. That's unconditional love.


Thats nice. Its wonderful if it only worked that way.
I ask though, Could you love someone unconditionally if they were to turn against you? If they slept around, stole, lied, or were hateful and viscious toward you? Remember the keyword here is Unconditional.

One thing that is a certainlty is that people change. All people change. Anyone that tells you differently is a Liar.
We change and we change the people that we interact with. Sometimes the change is for the better, sometimes its not. But change we do.

Unconditional is an extreme. Its like always and never.

If someone I love says they will always love me I will tell them to love me for the moment and be happy.

The best source for unconditional love would be your pet dog. That...Is Unconditional Love...until you attack it.

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