Yawn,
"Sorry, you are so boring.”

"Do you have any drugs or money? I am coming down fast?”

"I dont like the way that person is looking at me.... When we leave, I am gonna shoot him right between his eyes!!"

Did you see me on "American's Most Wanted?"

" who was that on phone? just my therapist...he wanted me to let ya know that if my personality seems to change during dinner..not to worry this one will come around again"

Do I have blood on my clothes as you ask if the cops followed....

Ahhh.. can we hurry this up!! I still have to pick up my wife from her Weight Watchers..Class

I know I said I would spring for a really nice dinner... But all I had in my piggy bank.. Was this elastic band and 78 cents.. so I will order the soup and you can have the crackers ok

... hi my moms waiting outside in the car.. she was wondering if you wouldn't mind pitching in for gas money..

When you get into the restaurant !..order a glass of water quickly.. pull a aspirin out of your pocket.... pop it in your mouth and drink the water..
. and just tell your date.... oh that was nothing .. the doctor says I need to take one before eating... I have a rash down there and burning discharge... But the doctor says it should clear up in about a week....


. of course you don't let her know it was a Aspirin.. lol

I have to leave in an hour, my ex is gonna be calling me. "We are just friends"

Oh look!
There's a La Quinta.

That's classy enough for ya, ain't it?

I am looking for a dad for my 8 kids

I have to text my man to see if we need anything special from the pharmacy

Do you think getting married in a month will be too soon?

Can we go to the doctors for a check up? I need to make sure you have the all clear.

Are you good with kids cause I am pregnant?

Sorry I don't want sex but do you have money?

This is interview to see if you are suitable for the position.

This posting has my mates laughing and great ideas.

So...
Have you always been a chick?

Sure. It's not that hard.
It's extremely easy with body language and a certain expression on your face.

Really, you may not even need the sentence.


Oh.
What "would" I say?
Nothing.
I'd just enjoy what I could of the date until the end of the meal or whatever and take my leave.

After getting someone to go out with me, if I couldn't sit across from them for a meal or whatever for an hour or two, but have to "book it to the nearest exit," or even feel the urge, then that doesn't say anything positive about me.


What "could" or "can" I say in a sentence to ruin a date as a hypothetical and for fun, more in line with the thread title?

I could say:
- "State law mandates that I inform you as to my status as a registered sex offender before I attempt any kind of physical contact."
- "I remember when rolling a piggy blonde off the internet was easier."
- "Thanks for meeting me, pumping n dumping milfs off the internet was getting boring."
- "Speaking of abusive spouses, and before I forget, do you know anyone that's hiring felons?"
- "I wuv my 12 cuddwy cats!"
- "It may be our first day but I think I really am falling in let's make a baby love with you."
- "My jock itch is acting up, can you ask the waitress for another fork?"
- "eh, you're more attractive in your profile pictures."
- "I've got another one of these internet date things in 20 minutes, so no dessert."
- "I really don't think you're pretty enough for me to pay."
- "Do you hate minorities as much as I do?"

.. I collect marbles and Stamps..
... and I have a very interesting Beetle Bug collection... would you like to come back to my mobile home
. and see my collection ..

"I'm starving, let's go to McDonalds."

I had a big lunch !but honestly I don't mind watching you eat...

I have invited my parents to join us, my moms only been out of prison a week and needs to get out of the house. Is that good for you?

Was that you daughter in the background of your profile pic? (as you leer at her)

Might go to hell for that one lol.

Look nervously around the room and then ask "do you watch Americas most wanted"?

The doctor said I should not date until the infection clears but you seem so nice that I thought the hell with it I'll take the chance.