So, I find myself (and always have) attracted to strong men,, but a strong man to me is one who puts family first

my favorite male celebs were my favorite because they seemed so devoted to family, to the excitement and satisfaction of loving someone

Robin thicke, whom I loved for his seemingly flawless expression of being 'in love' and not just lust,,,has disappointed in the general crossover decision to be about 'blurred lines' and having young women with their behind in his crotch and ,,,infidelity against a woman he professed so often to be his muse

Ben Affleck, whom I loved to hear speak , due to his devotion to 'human' issues and his down to earth self projection, and loyalty to old fashioned family,,,,,,,,has now lost his marriage, allegedly although it may be, to infidelity



I know these are people whose lives I can only imagine , who live in an environment of the kind of constant and overwhelming temptation most men do not,,,,,,,but how closely does their inability to commit to fidelity the way they do to their careers or their friends,,,, reflect the attitude of the average man?



are faithful men really becoming the rarity and men who have to have it however and whenever with whomever becoming the norm,,?

infidelity does not just occur with the husband in a marriage

equal rights and woman going out and getting their own has had its effect in this arena as well..what's good for the gander also good for the goose so to speak

unfair to judge and entire gender based on a few celebrity examples in my opinion.for every man you read about that is out running around on his wife? there is a man who is doing right by her every day and night ..a man that works hard at this job, takes care of his family and lives his vows.

IM just picking a topic,,,,

since I choose not to date women, and dont know of any that were unfaithful to the men I care about

or, men in general

...IM more curious about cheating men,,

My goodness i can't believe what i am reading.
There are just as many women if not more women than men cheating.
Its so much easier for them. If they are good looking they are married. Poor joe is out busting his butt 8,10, 12 hrs a day. Supporting her and his family I have a friend and his wife is doing just that. To further disturb the situation. She had an add on BackPage and was selling what she had promised to the man that married her. Damn hows that for infidelity.

older brother caught my sister in law up against side of garage with neighbor guy one night at about 2 am when she did not come home from the neighbor's pool party..

friend I know found his wife's dirty emails she was sending back and forth to her college professor so he followed her one day and caught the two of them in a motel room

I kind of see where you are going with this, and yet I am going to not put my response to just one gender.. Sorry...IMO that would be man bashing and I don't go there.

I agree that it sometimes appears that we as a society has lost our morals, in reality the above people you mentioned that you admired for their so called morals and values were most like in fact part of a facade.

I prefer to think of the average person doing the best they can that doesn't live their lives in a fishbowl that we don't hear about. Yes, there are some that are cheaters, for whatever the reason, I am not even going to try to guess them. What I will state is for every cheater out there IMO there are at least 2 individuals that have the upstanding ethic's and morals that we all want in a partner.

I think it would be easier to look at some celebrities and think wow, I believed you to be this way...Now I am so disheartened by finding out that you were as fallible as the rest of us. The problem lies not in the celebrity being caught so much as the not having the everyday hard working individuals that have the ethics and morals not be recognized. Til we start not looking at the famous or the infamous take your pick, and turn out eyes to the everyday person, we will always be disappointed...

If any relationship gets to the infidelity level, it's usually preceded by other fundamental damage.

Infidelity is the cure to end the diseased relationship.

yuppers cheating worked for ending my marriage caught her cheating and next day asked for a devorce

infidelity is not a cure

it is the ultimate form of what the young-ins refer to as monkey branching..

setting up something new before deciding to leave the old

or its the ole having your cake and eating it too..when someone is cocky or dumb enough to think they will never get caught because the spouse is too dumb


but as with anything..the ones who do it justify their behavior
say things like

" she did not give me what I wanted in bedroom"
or
" he did not give me the attention I deserved"

Infidelity is not a male thing, it is a cheating thing. it does not stop at the gender boarder.

I personally know men who have cheated on their wives. And I know wives that have cheated on their husbands as well. and I know single women who knowingly went after (and go after) married men.

On another aspect of this, something to take into account about famous people.

That is, that to this day, what you think you know and admire about them, often as not, is written by professional publicists who design the star's personality specifically to appeal to people like you.

So leading men are always said to be devoted husbands and fathers, if they are married, and women are said to be paragons of virtue and/or serious contenders for Woman Of the Year.

One small standard storyline that is my favorite, because it's ALWAYS proved to be a signal that the person it's told about is the opposite of what's described, is the one where they take a hot male or female star, and claim that the reason they aren't regularly seen in the company of hot members of the opposite sex, is because their heart was broken long before they became famous, and that they are still pining away for their lost love. They used the exact same story on both Elton John, and more recently on Ricky Martin.

A somewhat esoteric observation I've made over the years might help too, if you can get through my quirky way of thinking about things.

Vectors. In math, vectors are "direction with force."

I view people as having "vectors" to them as well. If you can separate what they SAY, from what they actually DO, especially in the smaller things in life, you can learn to identify a person's "vector," and know that whatever direction they are headed in, they are likely to continue towards. The "direction" aspect of human behavior is found in WHAT they like to do, and the "force" aspect of human behavior vectors is found in WHY they do whatever they do.

Restless go-getters are prone to continuing to "go get," even after they "have." So it pays to try to figure out WHY they go and get, before you sign up to be their targets.

In the same way, some people who seem to be all about loyalty and devotion, might really be all about holding still, instead.

Maybe what Ben Affleck and Robin Thicke were actually all about, wasn't being MARRIED. It was about being ADMIRED. Hence the results.

I'm going to respond with the same views of some of the other women on here...not necessarily my own



If a guy cheats on his women, she probably deserved it, she most likely didn't appreciate him and what he provided, she wasn't there for him when he needed her, and another women was so you can't really blame him it was her fault....

after all if he can do better than why should he have to settle?

*gets on soap box* marital infidelity seems to be much more common now days than it was back when I was younger. Most marriages, and this is my opinion, seem to be based on what a person sees on the outside. Sad it is, but that is what I am seeing, or it is because a young couple get married because the woman got pregnant and the mans family insist they get married.

I am sure that there are other reasons why it happens, but it all boils down to trust and communication between the two. It takes two to make any relationship work or to destroy it. *gets off soapbox*

that sucks, I dont know of such women,, I know plenty such men

Does this mean you only date married men or "momma's boys," those that are in their 30's, and 40's, that are living in their mom's basement to "take care of" them?
How else could you determine if someone would really put their family first...until they were actually in a family and could prove it?

Or do you date a lot of men that just immediately want to marry you and start a family?
Implied in the idea of "a strong man to me is one who puts family first" is the idea that is the main source of their strength...so, without family they'd be less strong. People that are weak in an area tend to want to fill that area as quickly as possible, so they no longer feel weak.


Those terms are extremely important to what you're basing your perceptions on.


I could only use terms like "seem" or "imagine" or "guess."

Might as well ask "how closely does the life of Superman compare to the life of Beetle Bailey?"
Your speculation and guess work regarding personalities that can only be speculated as to their reality is as good as mine.


No more so than they ever have been.

What drives faithfulness is only partially personal choice.
The way the human body works, whenever you see someone that fulfills your built in, DNA determined, concept of attraction, your body prepares you for sex, releasing chemicals telling you to have sex with someone.
That never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever changes (barring freak accidents that damage your brain) due to relationship status changes. Doesn't matter if you're married, single, dating, FWB, whatever. See someone attractive, chemicals released. Like hunger. You smell food, you produce more saliva. Can't turn it off. It just is.

If you're in a healthy relationship, you are either around the person you are in "love" with all the time, or you have tokens and reminders of the person you are in love with.
When a person is reminded of the person they are bonded with, it releases chemicals that inhibit things like testosterone (why a lot of guys are called "pssy whipped" because they start acting less masculine when they're in long term relationships).

If you aren't physically around the other person a lot, and aren't constantly reminded of them, you don't produce anything to offset the natural build up of hormones, you've told your body that you're "moving on" and it's time to start mating.

Faithful men are no more rare today than any other time.
Some men produce more hormones than others.

Here's some websites that are informative or interesting.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3183515/
http://www.youramazingbrain.org/lovesex/sciencelove.htm
http://www.psychotherapynetworker.org/populartopics/sex/493-what-is-this-thing-called-love
http://www.dana.org/Cerebrum/Default.aspx?id=39351
http://www.brainpickings.org/2010/06/11/your-brain-on-love/

every women i have ever dated, even my ex-wife cheated on me, with the exception of the one I'm dating now.


Almost EVERY wife i knew in the military was cheating on the man, while only SOME of the husbands were cheating.

Point is i've known WAY more women to cheat than men, the interesting thing i found though was that most women were not as sorry as the men were when they finally admitted it.

wow, its amazing how opposite experiences can be

I was a military wife, and I didnt know of any of the women messing about as most were taking care of kids while the husbands were 'on call', or 'on a tour',,,,

but there were plenty of the men getting side pieces,,,

yeah I knew a lot that took care of kids too, saddest ones were the ones that didnt find out until YEARS later that the kids weren't actually theirs.....

but I do think that also had something to do with perception and who the wives are friends with, many of the wives were constantly told that ALL men cheat and that their man wasn't the exception, but the rule. Unfortunately once the wives started to believe this the relationship is already over, they can't guarantee their man wasn't cheating so they assume he was, and trust is gone and their is nothing he can do ti change the months of distrust that her friends planted, sad but true

And you would necessarily know if the other woman on base were having a affair? Because you didn't know of it.. it wasn't happening?