If you have your site taken away you very quickly learn that physical attractiveness has very little meaning.

If you are one of the people who seem to make others pant over you when you are just trying to fit in the world like everyone else it is generally the same experience.

Does anyone ever completely give up what combination of features that attract them to another? I don't think so.

Are they paramount over personality and values; not for me.

The looks I prefer might get someone noticed but he has to hold my attention and I have to want to do more than stick a pin through him and post him on my bullentin board.

Everything matters much in picking a lifetime partner.

And what do you mean by "much?"
If looks were 50.5% of the equation and personality was 49.5% would you see that as "much" and personality not really mattering "much?"


I disagree with this.
Just like looks "awesome person" is in the eye of the beholder.

Joan Crawford Mommy Dearest?
To tons of people she was an "awesome person," to others she was a tyrant.

How about Obama? He was an awesome person when first elected...after that everything kind of went down hill...he's not seen as very awesome anymore.

When I was a kid I thought some friends were awesome, only by today's standards they'd be considered bully's, even as adults.

Your interpretation of what's awesome in terms of personality changes.
A persons personality changes over time (unless you're still saying "poo poo, pee pee" in late night calls to your parents? Or at 40, 50, 30, you're still going to nightclubs getting absolutely trashed for fun, the same as when you're 21?)

Looks change, personality's change, over time your interpretation of their personality will change.

Everything changes.

To hold "personality" as some sort of deep paragon of truth that is "better" than looks, that overcoming "looks" to concentrate on personality, is facile at best. Which makes it ironic.

look matter first and foremost

Nah.....Ive met some sure enough 10s that turned into 2s as soon as they opened their mouth.

PERFECTLY STATED,,,

Of course looks matter. You have to have an attraction to someone that will lead you to want to get to know them. I mean....it's been that way since like the Old Testament times. In fact, I believe it is in the Ten Commandments....like 10B.....Thou shalt be with someone who looketh attractive to you.

I agree more with ciretorn and Goof. I think when people carry on about how personality is all and looks should be irrelevant, they have a very specific scenario in their head. The choice is between a total A-hole who is movie star hot, and Joe(Jane) Average with a heart of gold. The intelligent choice is clear.
But the world is not peopled with characters from central casting. There is no absolute inverse relationship between looks and personality.

Let's say instead that your choice is between Joe quirky cute Average(see Goofball's profile for illustration) with a basically decent personality, and a steady job -vs- Jabba the Hutt's human analog who, it turns out, is the nicest guy you'd ever want to meet. The customers at the supermarket where he bags groceries think he's a riot.

You try to tell me Jabba's your man, and you're a damn liar. Because if that were true, you wouldn't be here. Change your approach to dating. Pick out the least attractive man in any situation and start chatting him up, you'll find your prince charming in no time.

I like this.