A RedNeck If......................

you go to your family reunions looking for a date

your uncle is your dad...b

you drive across town to see a car wreck.

You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

you ride your bike across town to the church food pantry...

if you mow your lawn and find a car!

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If your idea of fun is to sit on the front porch and watch lulu the bar dog eat bugs.

if your house needs wheels

The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors

if you're on jerry springer???

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws

... your daddy won't let you marry the town virgin under the reasoning that "if she ain't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours!"

Ok....here is a confession. My ex-boyfriend dated his niece. He tried to explain it away because she was the daughter of a sister in law and there was no blood relations and he had never met her before and the family set it up...yada yada yada. I should have left right there but instead I stuck around a few months so I could make fun of him where appropriate. Does that make me a bad person? Or worse...does that make me a redneck?

You might be a Red neck if?

Your Ex spouses are still teenagers.....

Your dog has fleas and so does the LazyBoy....

The clerk as Child Support Enforcement knows you by your nickname.....

You live with off your Grandparents....

You still wear clothes older than your children......

You have books holding up the box springs...

You have two kinds of beer in the house; the one you drink and the ones the kids drink....

You loan your new partner your ex's pajama's...

You keep a cat in the house to keep the mice down....

You know the shelter addresses by heart....

lol you can tell Redneck jokes Love ya

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.

You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took.

You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

You ever cut your grass and found a car.


Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.

You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.

You own a homemade fur coat.

The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You can get dog hair from out of your belly button.

The beer can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction.

People hear your car a long time before they see it.

your garage is full of junk and your good car sits outside.....woah sh1t I must be a red neck, lol

too long too put on here
http://users.cis.net/sammy/grandpa.htm

Your favorite phrase is.....

....Hey, Y'all, watch this!