Neo nazi fem bot always had a nice ring to it

hahahaha

Except for the last paragraph, this chit is pretty funny....How come you put it in the dating and relationship section Dandy?....

First OP, it's a bit dishonest to cut and paste someone else's jokes without attribution. That's to start.

As for the list of jokes itself, as with many jokes, there are a few good points made in them.

In no particular order:

* The "five minutes" bit actually works well with another often stolen quote about how men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

The length of a day on Mars, is almost identical to Earth. Just a little shorter, which explains why Martian men get impatient.

The length of a day on Venus, is five-thousand, eight hundred and thirty two hours. Do the math, it's self explanatory that way.

* the best way to answer the "does this dress make me look fat" question, entirely by luck, is to be 100% factual, logical, and honest. Here's why: whether she actually IS overweight or not, it is not the DRESS which causes that to be true. Therefore, from a completely factual AND honest, AND logical point of view, the answer to give is always a very firm

"No, Absolutely NOT."

* jokes 1, 3-8 and 10, are 100% identical for males as well as females. The only difference which causes some males who don't think things through to become confused, is due to the different tonalities in male and female voices, and the socially generated prejudices associated with vocal qualities.

* joke 9 doesn't work for both genders, owing to the cultural designation of males as "tough guys," as "leaders," or as "insufferable but uncriticizeable know-it-alls."

When women say "don't worry about it, I got it," it either means "I decided to dump you and selected your replacement six months ago," or it means "don't worry about it, I got it."

When men say it, it usually means "please don't look too closely as I try to fake this for the sake of maintaining the universal masculine image, and as soon as you look away, I'm going to call someone who can actually do it for me, but not tell you."

Hahahahahahaha

A lot of things you mentioned in your post may be true when it comes to many women, but most of these things have to do with communication, and many couples have poor communication.
We may want an honest man, that doesn't mean we want to have him say "You look bloody horrible! Please put on your corset and jeans and a wide top!"

Catch my drift?
If you ask your woman what she thinks of your outfit/hairdo or whatever, and she'd start slagging you, you wouldn't be chuffed either. Respect is the keyword.

If instead you'd say "Sweetheart, I had hoped you'd wear .... because you look so good in it!"
Or something along those lines, it's still being honest and no one's feelings get hurt. What's wrong with that? If you can't be bothered to be respectful and decent toward your woman, then don't get involved!

I think a lot of ppl need to develop a more mature attitude in life, and that goes for both genders.

Igor taking credit for source or just not bothering to include it seems to happen quite often

Here, let me try to fix it for you.
This

Should be

WOMEN - PLEASE CONFIRM THE INTERPRETATIONS -ARE THEY TRUE OR FALSE? - AT LEAST TO HELP THE MEN FOLK.



10 Words Women Use

1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. No Not me..When I say fine I mean I am not wasting my time dealing with this


2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. No...I have waited for more men to get ready than they have ever waited on me

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine" Nothing is a danger word that usually precludes the word fine.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
means I wanna watch your stupidity

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, though a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about "nothing". (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of "nothing".) NOPE... I am a sigh'r by nature so therefore my sighs have a whole language of their own

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. No actually Okay means Ok with me

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say 'you're welcome'. bingo!!!

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F**K YOU'!
Not always...But bless your heart usually does when said in this vein

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now having to do it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3. Not sure, since I haven't had a man around long enough to give him a honey do list

10) AND THE LAST ONE: When a woman says "Answer me" in response to her question no matter how subtle it is, just know that you are in trouble. If you respond, and it is not in line with her thinking, you are a dead meat. If you don't say anything you are still in trouble.
Depends on the context

Example, if a woman asks:

"Do you think I look fat in this dress?",

swallow hard and think long about your answer. If indeed she looks fat, don't choose option #4. If she doesn't look fat, but you think the dress is ill-fitting on her, if you mention it, watch out for #8.

Nope I happen to believe if a woman puts on clothing that shows she is fat and is stupid enough to ask this question she gets what ever answer is given

And you had better believe it, they crave for a man with honesty. WOMEN: Never try to outsmart them. They'll beat you at it, collect the change and spend it.


Thanks for the laugh...
I remember reading this long ago..
What should have been number 1...
There are exceptions to the rules..

Wise saying ma'am..... Thanks for the supplement... I'm greatful...

I pray that people will learn from that...

Thanks once again...

I have used almost every one of these.
But the one that is definitely true is the "whatever ". I use that word for exactly that meaning.

It's nice to see most ladies taking it in jest as I'm sure it was meant to be.

I agree with Keegan above.

To me when a woman say's 'whatever' I know it's time to keep my gob shut

Oh Dear you know you have been on line too long when you can know the words to this before you even read it.

Humor is a good way to learn how people really feel but sometimes this gets tired. Will give a newbie points for trying to find a post subject.

I took it in jest until the last part

Whatever



























I know you did Miss Yellowrose

Whatever is the new code

Alright..already a part of my vocabulanilito..uh..vocababiltatio..uh

I already say it