ok folks what do u think they are.

what are u willing to not live with what crimes will u forgive for the sake of working on a marriage. what would be your "straw" that breaks the camels back in a marriage for u. what about the kids, should a man or woman sacrifice their happiness for the rest of their young adult lives for the sake of the children not being raised in a broken home? should a woman "tolerate" a neglectful husband for the sake of the children. is it selfish to want more?

My deal breaker....a cubic zirconia in lieu of a real diamond.

Lying. Hands down. It breaks down all the levels of trust.

I agree w/ Fade.....Lieing is the reason I am single today! I will NOT put up w/ another liar!!

dishonesty,cheaters,players are reasons to say hit the road

lying, cheating, abuse, laziness, meaness,

drug abuse

my divorce was because I was replaced while I was in iraq.

neglectful husband........she should want more......why the hell is she married if the guy is neglecting her? Get counselling.

what if hubby refuses to do counseling cus he says there's nothing wrong with him

mine said the same thing.......well then you go to counselling, and when the divorce papers are signed then maybe the husband will realize......doh!!! maybe I should have paid attention.....of course then its too late and she already has moved on.....

Lying about important things (not 'no, I didn't get you flowers), cheating, drug abuse without accepting rehab, murder.
Lying can be in varied degrees of severity, and of course the really hard part is trusting someone who lies at all. But we all lie at times. So, I'm kind of moderate on that one. It's obvious when lying becomes a problem....

I don't believe in living half a life. That's why I'm not married anymore. Commitment, honesty, and trust are big issues with me. If you can't commit to each other, just have one night stands. If the problem can be worked out with counseling -- and you both still love each other go for it. If not, you need to move forward with your life. I don't believe in staying together for the kids. Unforturnately/fortunately, I didn't have children with my husband, and it made my decision alot easier. It's never easy to work away from a relationship.

heatherrae,

When a man is approached agressively, they respond in kind. If a man is made to feel like it's "Me vs You", it will become a contest to him. Not consciencely, but subconsciencely. It can be very difficult talking to a man who doesn't realize this about himself. The best thing a woman can do is what they are best at, share her feelings. Don't put up a wall, don't try to reason, don't say what he's doing wrong, simply explaining how she feels is the best thing a woman can do in that situation. The moment the guys brain senses an argument or fault finding, he will become defensive and she will not get through to him. I think if a woman said "I'm sad and lonely, could you give me more attention?" a guy would be moved to make her happy. If a woman says "You are neglicting me", the husband will most likely become defensive, effectively ending the conversation.

what i asked tho are what the dealbreakers are, obviously if u attack someone theyre gonna get defensive. its at what point does one give up that i'm curious about

What a man thinks is agressive and what a woman thinks is aggressive are two totally different things. Many men react in an aggresive manner if their judgement or behavior is questioned. Saying "You don't spend enough time with me" could instantly put a man on defensive. I'm not talking about physical aggression, but rather hostility to conversation and ideas.

But to answer your question, I would put up with just about anything to be part of my children's lives. If children weren't involved, then I would have to agree with everyone else.

Well, for me, it was years of being the only one committed to our relationship. After a while, I stopped caring too. When I realized I didn't care anymore, I left. I deserved better.

For Me I will not marry someone who I had any doubts about... Commitment is very important to me but a deal breaker would be when my husband stops trying and shows he no longer cares if we work things out or not. I understand that people change it is a huge part of how we grow, but growing apart to a level where he won't talk, have sex or show he still wants to be married then i will set him free.

I would have done anything to save my marriage...the only thing I did not put up with is cheating. I refuse to live with someone who has no respect for our marriage.
I would never stay with someone for our children. My parents did that and they lived miserable lives...was it fair to them or us kids? Absolutely not!! We knew they didn't love each other and what it taught us was how to live in a loveless relationship. What it did to them was ruin their youth...they could have found someone else when they were younger and maybe been happy again.

hi heather. if one spouse wants to do counseling then both need it.

not a matter of pointing blame. there is a problem and a caring spouse will understand that every time. if they are unwilling to work on it jointly it is very serious and an accident waiting to happen.

dangerous situations where someone is possibly going to be physically or mentally harmed would be deal breakers for me. and i do not believe in staying together for the kids. i have a close friend who came from a home where his parents did that. said it made for an extremely unpleasant and painful childhood full of rancor and apathy. how horrible that would be.

everyone makes mistakes and everyone needs the assistance of friends and counselors to get past stumbling blocks or even unsuspected torpedos which could sink their marraige. but both parties have to act as a team for their own benefit and the benefit and harmony of their kids and family.

united we stand divided we fall. apart.