Of course not,if it's something that serious,but other than that,if she "loves"me,and know how much I love football,then why would she try and deprive me off it?But at the end of the day,I'm going to have my dvR,to record all that if there be something like that,but something serious no lol!

I would totally get that if I were smoking and she didn't object, but then after we married and the partner suddenly can't tolerate something about you, then that's their bad I guess. There is always room for self improvement, and if it's more important for you to do something you like that your partner does not, and understandably so, don't you think it's a bit selfish to continue doing it rather than make a change to benefit the relationship?

But in a case like that,you can make the argument that maybe the other party should or can change as well!!

let me underline IMPORTANT ASPECTS. As in my opening comment, there are somethings I will not give up.

Actually, when you marry, you belong to each other. Hopefully you both give to the relationship to make life more pleasant for your partner. Sometimes that means giving up something that is not as IMPORTANT as your relationship.

Caring for yourself is your primary goal in life. Period. That's not selfish, it's not sociopathic, it's not a negative in any form whatsoever. It's only HOW you choose to do so that can be pathological.

Again, partner. You must be you. If you give control to another, you will be controlled. Compromise is how we temper that so that it doesn't become a negative. Quid pro quo. I give, you give. We both win.

Your past, our past, everyone's past exerts control. Don't give in to it. If your approach worked, this discussion wouldn't exist. Don't fear change. Don't hold to ideals that don't fit. Don't EVER stop trying to grow and learn.

You got this, dude. You're pretty bright. Hang on and don't stop tryin'.

exactly, someone would have to give or give up to come to a compromise. Hopefully both of you are willing to do that for the other

totes

Good example of the basics. lol those are things we give up, some are good things

As long as the decision is completely your choice to change (whatever it is)...and NOT because the other person insisted...because that really isn't a compromise.

Here's what is true,in order for some relationships to move forward or just be successful,changes are the key,example,husband has a gambling problem,has responsibilities at home,rent,kids bills ECT,but he has a gambling problem,next example,wife have a family home,wife goes out with friends every night,get drunk,comes home late,husband works hard in the day and have to come do wife's house work,so op has a point as well!

op you talk about relocating some on here are just waiting for that to happen and some have already moved to the other and what I have seen of them ...very happy to be with each other ... but if someone was going to relocate for me they would have to visit me a lot before they do that ... because I would not want them to be hurt if for some reason I or them did not believe we where right for each other ... + not sure what I would give up for them ...seems been tested on every thing they wanted me to stop ...
and now I have the choice with a few things I have not had before ... an would hope the man except me and I him with all my love ... if meant to be ...

oh, is this a "What NEGATIVE HABIT am I going to give up" thread?:

I'll give up swearing.

there ya go

I'm pretty sure no one is saying Needsum doesn't have a point. The overall gist of responses is it may be a point that warrants adjustments.

One simply cannot succumb. It's not healthy to bow your head and say 'Ok, you win.' It's not fair to themselves and can only lead to resentment.

If that's an INTEREST, that changes things. Submissiveness is not, in and of itself, a horrible thing. It's only when submission is in an effort to subtly control - 'Love me! See what I have given up for you?' that it becomes something else.

Honestly if the person had something they did that offended me to the degree I would ask them to give it up. I would move on for you begin a relationship learning what that person is like and what they enjoy.

You found them that way and well aware if not then you really did not get to know them enough to begin with.. And one would need to take a look at how fast they jump into a relationship.

For those that think they must give up something to enjoy someone else company then so be it. I will move on and find someone that can take me as I'm flaws and all...

Oh, Teal...**** THAT!

Giving up something for someone you love doesn't always work out for the best, and it changes the dynamic of the relationship , sometimes to the good, sometimes to the bad .. and for me it was bad .

I was married 19 yrs to a man I knew did not like at of things..He was simple..didn't like jewelry, flowers, being romantic.. but I did , and I wanted to be with him..so I gave all that up for him...we wanted children , so for the sake of having healthy children , I had quit drinking and smoking ..also to keep our budget... bad move.. He drank more , smoked more,, and He claimed I was boring , because he lost a drinking partner, smoking partner.. a driver to drive him home from bars..

my hands were tied till my kids were old enough to understand why I left him ..I was the bad guy for yrs till they finally understood what I gave up for them .. my freedom for 15yrs .

So all I can say sure its ok to give something up, compromise to be with someone you love.. but be careful of hidden agendas they might be have for letting you give these up so easily.

no, no, ...no, phuck me?