One cant underestimate the benefits of getting married to a real spiritual girl.The spiritual support she 'll give her husband and family is priceless.But sometimes,I kinda wonder if her very spiritual side wont end up creating less affection for her husband and make the marriage less fun(romantic less) in the long run,which could be part of reasons why some guys are not very comfortable with marrying born again christian girls.We just finished resolving a family problem that came up two months after the wedding of a sister in our church.The husband came to marriage commitee to complain that they were yet to consummate their marriage because the wife refused to undress in his presence and she normally wear tight when going to bed.Pls,note that she has no problem physically! Your thoughts will be very much appreciated

It seems like that is more of a self conscious thing or 'body image' thing than a romance issue. My husband is extremely romantic.
Sex for christians is no different than non christians. In fact, my opinion is it is better, as there is an understanding of body, soul and spirit being joined as one.
What was the outcome of the meeting and really I think that was selfish of him to take such a personal issue to any more than one mentor.

Our church lay emphasis on holiness both inwardly and outwardly.In addition,there is dress code for all members,no occasion for the flesh and its vanities.But i think the sister got it all twisted.It wasnt selfish of the brother.The brother resorted to informing us because ALL entreaties failed.She was counselled by the pastor's wife and i hope there is no more problem.We have not got further complaint

Then what is this topic about? It seems to me you want affirmation that when you are married you are going to have sex? I dont get it?

Her spirituality obviously beclouded her romantic life. Hence the thread.Should it be so and is it same experience with all genuine prayerful christians,both men and women?

I think it how people are raised by their parents. Girls especially are given a' list of do's & don't s'.
And what constitutes ' a. good girl or bad girl" .
I think the husband should have more patience and not expect her to change, so quickly to what he wants...
In her mind she is probably still hearing her parents,with 'the list'

Christian spirituality didn't cause this bride's problem. Something else did.

Please,what could possibly be the cause? I really want to know because this is the second case we heard on this issue.The other one was almost two years ago

Perhaps it is a cultural issue.

I doubt its cultural issue.Why is it always the sisters who are too holy and shy to undress before their husbands.We frown at that and have warned them.Such people can never be romantic,i suspect.

Those brides aren't being "too Holy". They are being foolish.

Possible!!!

Other possibilities-

1- she could have been sexually or emotionaly abused
3- if the husband does not treat her well, talk to her, show her love & respect... but expects sex.
4- it could be the husband wants her to dress & undress & she knows this will excite him... so she doesn't.
* as a newlywed, I didn't, he would have wanted even more sex, & I would never get out of house*
5- if your raised with men in the house.* father, brothers etc.* then you learn to cover up & be modest.
6- they are not emotionally bonded & need more time.
7- she is naive, young or afraid.

I have never been to marriage but i attended many times to woman's joint fellowship. And most of there topics are about marriage life.

What is the most common misunderstanding of the husband and wife aside from financial needs? It is a sex.....right? What is a reason for you to be a shy from your husband? Remember that the rule of a woman is to gave his husbands need not only sex but all.smile:

For me..... I prefer a dress than wearing a tight clothes during bed time.smile

Not to mis understood from what i say all. With sweetness and romantic smile

I know the Holy Bible says a woman is ' the helper' to her husband.
And he is ' to love her as he loves himself ' & they are to ' threat each other as King & Queen & ' forsake all others', that 'the husband is the head & God is the head of the husband' . So ' the husband must answer to God for the wife (even in divorce, if she does not remarry).
Other than that, it may be cultural & up to the individuals (what the agreement is).

Edited of posts admonishing other posters.
Every opinion is valid.
Do NOT target other members!

soufie
Site Moderator

Hi, Uche9aa.
In the lighter mood, really, I have been wondering at your choice of profile photo...is this also part of the spirituality -inside and out? Please don't get offended...I have really wondered for a long time!

Now...to the topic; spirituality does not stop married people from being Romantic. Many factors could be responsible for this sister's case...hopefully, confidential counseling fished out the reasons and helped out.

I also think going out rightly to a church committee was not the wisest as a first external step...would have been best to first confide in any good Christian that the couple feel free with.

I'm wondering if the husband, even asked his wife ' what is wrong?'

And the wife did not seek help or advice? Perhaps she had her reasons. So what are they? Has an elder church WOMAN asked her?

And two men confiding to a committee about a simuar situation...
I can't help but wonder, if there is a pattern?
The community ? views on roles of women?, marriage & sex. ?
Is the marriage committee ALL married men?

Lol hhahahahaha!!!!!!!!! Looks like you dont like that white monkey man? Well, your opinion is noted