I dont know if someone here could help me with this and I doubt.
I know there is a generation gap created in between me and my parents but the fights are increasing with greater intensity. For every single thing, we all are reacting in a repulsive manner. Nothin they say are acknowledged by me and same with them too.
I dont know what to do.

Get a job, get your own place and move out. You see the world as new, they see their baby growing up, as difficult as that is for all concerned. Try to do it before you say or do something you/they will regret.

They love you, want the best for you and want to protect you. They just don't know how to say it in a way that you can accept, they are resisting your ascension into adulthood. Which is normal, you are "spreading your wings" which is also normal.

Eventually, you will all forgive and accept change. You will understand their perspective and maybe they will accept yours.

Until then, clashes will continue, just try not to start World War 3, and no matter how mad they make you, they just don't know the right words to say to get their concerns across.

Hello
I have read about life & culture in West Bengal India. I know it can be very difficult for women. If you would like to message me, let me know on this thread & I will message you.

Right I think it's hard to answer the question not knowing your culture and not knowing why you are arguing. I think in any culture it is important to respect the rules in ones parents' home, such as curfews or chores. And work your social life around those things.

mritticka try to remember this. they have way more years of experience than you. and right or wrong for either side, it has value. just as your fresher new ideas have value. try to remeber that and and think on it some before just rejecting it entirely.

it was amazing to me when i got to be a few years older than you are, just how smart my parents got in those few years.

Respect! You have to have it before you can get it. Most of us are guilty of trying to get out point across rather than listening to the other person. Try listening to them carefully, to see exactly what they mean before answering.

just obey your parents { thats Indian culture}

Never fought any of my parents and wouldn't either! I just fought other Scottish football team supporters while growing up, that's all! Celtic soccer crew #1, ha ha

Cheechaco

Eric

What Eric and Chaco are saying will take a few years before you begin to appreciate the wisdom of experience. I was a 'late bloomer' [no insult intended] and I wish I had such counsel at 18. Anyway I'll share my experience as a father of a 22 year daughter, in some detail.

But before that:
At 18, many teenagers do argue or fight ‘verbally’ with their parents. So you are not alone here and neither is your generation the first.

Now the problem is compounded. Western culture is influencing Indians as never before. The gen gap has widened and socially we seem to have a mix; something like a cultural flux. Indians below middle class are facing difficulties adjusting to the modern fashionable status of young women. I say this with sadness; but it's our unfortunate reality and so we parents are more worried about daughters these days.

Slightly out of topic:
Now take my case. Being in construction field, I travel and speak 4 different languages, all reasonably well. My daughter now 21, is absolutely fluent in English and her mother tongue, that’s 2 languages. She looks down at my ‘stilted’ English and the brogue I bring in (Hindu cultural effect) when I hold forth in a party or function. What does she know; I constantly carry 4 dictionaries in my head; including their synonyms & antonyms.

Back to topic:
So here was a situation where my daughter wanted to be treated as an adult and I being traditional wanted to retain my ‘authority’ status. (Her mother, my ex now; was more flexible). So the little arguments from my most precious were stinging me more (she would win most arguments) than the external stresses I faced at work; with my bosses and clients.

Then one day my daughter played a trick on us. She was suddenly extra nice and whenever her mother entered her room with the morning coffee, she would furiously hide a magazine. This got her mother curious and she nagged it out of her; it was an old edition of the National Geography with a cover page “The Teenage Brain”. Then her mother placed it in my hands, read it she ordered.

It said that the brain does not grow after the age of 8 or so. It is just the skull that thickens and gives us our bigger heads. I was stunned. It further said that the brain is furiously re-organizing itself during teenage years and this goes on till 22 or 25. Now that got me thinking. I realized that young people are extra sensitive although I don’t remember being so (may be outdoors and sports made us thick skinned).

Anyway, after reading that, I started giving her more ‘space’ and so on. There’s an improvement in our relationship now, she’s finishing college; and I worry less about her these days. Her priorities are ok with me now. All this didn't happen overnight.

I think that particular edition of National Geography would help many other parents but that apart I really cannot resist giving one tiny bit of advice. You should not start your mornings with yesterday’s bitter memories. Try a little prayer in the morning. Even if you don’t believe in God, close your eyes and create a space in the mind, of peace and quietness. This ripples into the day.

I don’t think at the core of our being, people are different. What works for me is likely to work for you too.

I hope this helps.
Good luck & God Bless you and your family.

Me : Mama your pasta noodles are watery & taste like chit.

Ma : Shut the f#@$ up and eat it. You will like what I cook. Say no more.

Me : Geeze...its constructive criticism.

Ma : F#@$ you and eat! Go construct something with your pecker & give me grandchildren.

Me : Chit I was only tryna help.

Ma : Ok. Help yourself to shut up & eat & give me grandchildren. Yes?

Where are you my friend? I love meeting late bloomers like myself.
But that sounds more like pre-teen transaction.

Suggest you give it another try.

^

I miss her too.

Dear Mritticka,
Your profile is quite urban and impressive.
An earlier post (chanced on it)is rather unusual.
Suggest you check out the link and scroll down to the imaging.
It sure did sober me up.
http://www.breakingthecycles.com/blog/2011/10/06/national-geographics-october-2011-article-the-new-science-of-the-teenage-brain/

Needless to say, feel free to ask.
Good luck.

Sounds like you are having some serious stress but I would ignore the advice to move out. Distance will not heal the strive and could very well leave you homeless and a social orphan.

Take a step back and think about what your parents are asking, well maybe demanding, of you. Is it for your best interest? The family best interest; which by the way is STILL your best interest?

Like it or not you are very close to the time when your parents have the choice to abandon you; and take it from someone who hit the world alone, it is NOT what it is cracked up to be.

Not much further ahead is the time in your life when you are going to be full throttle in the child bearing years. You think it is tough being your parents kid You have not seen nothing like the pain you will feel if you are saddled with a child and your parents are not there for you. Believe me it is a very humbling experience. For those two reasons alone I would do my best to take a breath and try to stand in their shoes.

I don't know which of your parents you might be closer too but why don't you try writing them a Thank You note. If for no other reason than they brought you into this world an sustained you then as a real adult you owe them that. I am not going to say it will guarantee they will start relating to you as and adult, even a young inexperienced adult being nurtured into the world, but at least maybe it will dial down the drama.

The try to ask for times to talk about just one thing at a time. My guess is they are trying to shotgun stuff down your throat because they are frightened by how fast the time to parent is slipping away and they love you so much that they are afraid. If you commit to speak to them with respect and dignity then I would bet the hysterics would calm down. Maybe it will take finding a neutral trusted third party to have around for these heart to hearts but before you dismiss their feelings and life time of experience give it twenty four hours to sink in. Your culture did not survive for thousands of years because it fell for every new and modern idea that ever came along but it is still standing. Probably because rules still have reasons. It is ok to ask your parents to help you understand why they think the ones you seem to be resisting the most are so dear to them.

I love my culture and freedom but there are many things our society here could learn so do not be so eager to throw out something precious just because it isn't "modern" or promoted by the life you only half see. You could be avoiding great suffering if you do.

If you want to have conversations with me my door is open.

I cannot offer anything that hasn't already been said....everyone who already posted have given you what I think is very good advice. I will offer one simple thing...after getting advice from others, always, ALWAYS be sure to take time to THINK about your situation and apply pieces or all of said advice. The final task is absolutely up to you to make it what you need it to be for YOU. Good luck to you