Love this guys consistent sense of logic in the spank vs abuse debate.


The spanking = abuse formulation can only be understood if you erase from your mind any sense of nuance. But if we're basing our conclusions on the '��Y involves X so therefore all things that involve X are automatically identical to Y'�� calculation, then why don't we apply it to other things parents do to their kids?

For example, in my household growing up, it wasn't uncommon to hear my parents say, in a commanding and unequivocal tone, things like "Don't interrupt me when I'm speaking" and "�Watch your attitude."�� In contrast, I knew kids who lived in homes where it wasn't uncommon to hear the parents say, in a somewhat harsher tone, things like "�Shut the f**k up"�� and "I can't f**king stand you."

�� Both involve words spoken at an elevated volume, but one is clearly not abusive and the other clearly is. If we can do this math with verbal discipline, why do we act like it's so difficult on the physical side?

2) Maybe you respond by saying that there's nothing inherently wrong with speaking, but there is something inherently wrong with physically touching your kid in a disciplinary and corrective manner. Fine. If that's your argument then, I ask you, WHAT precisely makes it inherently wrong? You can't answer "�violence,"�� because that only restates your original premise.

Besides, to call spanking "�violence"�� is intentionally misleading. Even deceitful. It prejudices the jury in the court of public opinion by using a term that Webster defines as 'exertion of physical force so as to injure or abuse'�� to describe smacking a child's posterior a few times. Spanking as opposed to beating or assaulting doesn't injure and it isn't intended to abuse.


read more :http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/09/18/spanking/

Until people are educated about non-violent parenting they will continue to make the same statements out of ignorance.

It is not possible for me to explain or justify the argument about treating our children with equality instead of power and control.

(Repeat as necessary)

and for thousands of years, happy healthy people have grown up with the occasional spanking

so I suppose teaching about disicipline without spanking is about as necessary as teaching about diets without meat

they are personal choices, with the same intent, and for the same purpose,, and when met are indeed then 'equal

I will repeat my thoughts on spanking from my post on the Scolding in Public thread...

"My children are grown and have children of their own and yes, I did on occasion spank them. When my younger son asked me about this when his first child was misbehaving, I responded with,
"Yes I did spank you sometimes, but I wish I hadn't. Because the spanking had less to do with teaching you good behaviour and more to do with my own frustration."
And that folks is just not a good enough reason to raise a hand to anyone...Peace..." flowerforyou

I agree, raising it because of frustration is not a good reason

disciplining as a way of TEACHING,, is,, and it taught me and millions like me,,,

Following the arguments made on this issue here in this thread and the thread on scolding is akin to engaging an abusive partner. The solution is to no loner to engage them as they only seek drama and a reason to justify their behavior.

My point being...Disipline is teaching, spanking is frustration. If the first reaction is spanking...that is abusive parenting...if the spanking comes after first trying other methods it is the result of frustration... The spank may stop the behavior but doesn't teach anything on how to change the behavior. Simple IMHO.

I don't believe parents want to be owning up to that.

In my view, this is the most sensible answer we have had in these hitting your kids threads. Call it spanking or call it what you like, you are still hitting your kids.

Also in my view, if you do hit your kids then you have done something wrong somewhere along the line and therefore you are to blame for your kids behaviour.

spanking does teach, boundaries and consequence

if its only a 'reaction' its ineffective

if its a 'consequence' in which the young person is aware ahead of time when they make a choice in their actions, it is proof of consistency, boundaries, and consequences

and how does one stop a behavior without changing it?

there is no difference

when children test boundaries, it isnt because they dont know HOW to not do it, its because they are testing whether they will have any consequence

when they learn the consequences are consistent , they adapt and stop the behavior(if the consequence is truly a consequence that is not worth the choice of behavior)


the few times I Tried to 'get away' with what I knew was not right, and what I knew held a consequence of spanking,, I didnt try it again after actually facing the consequence,,,,, on top of it not being right, it wasnt worth the consequence

it stopped the behavior that I Was already full aware of how to
change

I can't help myself. I just have to say this.. I need to be disciplined.. I need to be spanked.... ..

Back to the kitchen with you....

nuance: a subtle difference in or shade of meaning, expression, or sound.

that word is escaping many

NUANCE

sticking a kid for the sake of sticking them, would be abusive

sticking them with a vaccine, is STILL STICKING A KID,, but it has a subtle difference which eliminates it being considered 'abusive'

NUANCE

Yelling obscenities at a kid would be abusive
Yelling to cheer on a kid in a game would not, although it is still YELLING AT A KID




'abuse' has an intent to hurt,,, discipline has an intent to teach




perhaps accepting that difference, instead of just emotionally lumping everything together would make things less controversial

ya know,, if it wasnt for that latex bodysuit,,,,,,,

..ohhh.. so we are baking something then !.are we..?

... sugar let me tell you..
. you slap my *** while I'm wearing that... I am definitely going to feel it...lol..... remember when you were a kid and you'd windup the kitchen drying towel... and whip somebody with it...lol.... sometimes it would make a loud snapping sound...lol... when you heard that you knew you got them good...lmao

Who's emotionally lumping anything together.
I don't agree with hitting kids, end of.

so far, in this thread, the assertion has been made that (Being a parent who has spanked) I Have abused my kids and that my discipline is no more than an act of 'frustration' that cant possbily teach anything

I consider that pretty insulting, even 'opinions' can insult,,

I respond to those who wish to continue berating how I Raise my children as I would expect them to respond to anyone who berated how they raise theirs...

I agree with MS on this subject.

I was spanked and scolded, as were my kids, as are their kids. None for the worse.

None are seeking counseling.. none have ever even mentioned it. And all love each other. All grew ( or are growing up) healthy, respectful and happy. they also know the difference between right and wrong.

taught by loving parents.

It worked for us.. it may not be " your cup of tea" and that's fine.. that's your right.

but it worked for us..