Let me make this clear from the start: God hates divorce. God desires that we work out our problems in marriage, seek redemption and reconciliation, even in the face of abuse or adultery. A Christian is called to live out the New Creation in the broken Creation, so it is a duty if nothing else. Clear?

What many Christians fail to realize is that the Exile of the Jews is the opposite of what happens on Mt. Sinai. What does that mean? It means that the covenant is broken in an irreparable way. It means YHWH and Israel are "separated"...even "divorced," if you will. Don't jump ahead! It's important to understand that the Exile doesn't end when they come back to Jerusalem. It doesn't end when Herod rebuilds the Temple. Why? Because YHWH never comes back to the Temple. He brings Israel back to the land, but only as tenants...and he does that for his own name's sake. This angst cannot be undersold for the Jews for the last four centuries BCE. They abandoned YHWH and YHWH allowed such an act of divorce.

I need to pause the story there, because we Christians seem to get so caught up in this religiousity where because someone is divorced they are untouchables. We seem to think that a divorced person is incapable of respecting marriage for everything it should be. We are self-righteously, Pharisaic as we pass hurting and broken people on the road to do whatever it is we believe is somehow more important. We seem to forget that Hosea's wife doesn't have to come back to him in our culture. We seem to forget that marriage is mutual and so is redemption and reconciliation.

That's why Jesus comes. He represents Isreal as her fulfillment of the covenant, so that a new covenant might be forged. That's why Jesus tells people to change their minds and accept the story he is telling. Because Jesus doesn't make that choice for us. He offers a new way of living and telling our story. He waits for our response.

As I allow my ex-wife to leave me for a lesser man, a corrupt, evil, and false man, I have tried in every way to plead with her, but I am powerless to make that decision for her. I know the sanctity of marriage and what it means for me to become divorced. I am well aware that I contributed to my present state. I am constantly aware of the brokenness my family, my daughter, my future spouse will have to deal with, and I will go through it with them. I can only trust that Jesus will fulfill the covenant as I failed to do.

So to those who turn away from the divorced, seeing them as corrupted and devaluing the sanctity of marriage, I must challenge you to be more Christ-like in your search for a mate. Jesus will redeem my situation, along with the rest of this broken world, so who are you, his servant, to contradict the work of your Master? I'm not saying you should only marry divorced people! I'm simply saying that "divorced" isn't a deal breaker for a Jesus-follower. If it is, then you must deal with a God who allowed his people to divorce him.

Hi. I think you have misunderstood the entire discourse that people have participated in here about marriage and divorce.

I do not think anybody wrote with an intention to 'label' or 'condemn' or 'discriminate' or whatever.

People have simply made reference to what the Bible says about the subject in scripture (the Bible).

The duty here is not to write to please anyone in particular or to say only what a particular person wants to read. Ultimately, as the Bible says, each one of us will give account of himself to God. Individual choices and decisions are things that God will never take away from us as human beings - because HE did not make us to be robots. But at the end of everything, we must account back to him for every decision ...fro every action...and even for ..every non-action; vis aviz our acceptance of JESUS CHRIST as LORD and Savior and also vis aviz our having abided in His word or not.

God bless you.

I know I have not misunderstood what has been said in this forum because I have not read other threads in the forum. What I have experienced is a subtle and sometimes blatant refusal to see past the label of "divorced."

I am proposing and defending a position on divorce that will not only take the text of the Bible seriously, but the overall narrative as we see YHWH act. Single verses and passages are misused and abused all around us by people unwilling to wrestle with the original language, let alone the alternate conjugations that are present in the thousands of scrolls we have...even then, a "literalist interpretation" is simply a way of covering up biases that are inevitably present.

So when I point to self-righteousness and judgment, I'm not accusing anyone in particular. My position is simply that refusing to get to know someone you would otherwise be interested in simply because they wear the label of "divorced" is clearly an anti-gospel tendency.

Matthew 19

8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

I know I got e personal email on this site criticizing my profile for including in it that I do not want to get involved with a married, separated or divorced man.

But this about me and my faith in JESUS CHRIST. Nobody else is going to account for me when I have to face God in judgment. So, I must take decisions for which I am certain there can be no possibilities of disobedience to God's word.

And by the way, this is not just about marriage and divorce - it is also about not having to face God with lies or pride or self-centeredness or theft or arrogance or hard heartedness.....!

So, when I set my heart to avoid any possibilities of offending God or going against His word, it is about my soul. It is not about discriminating against anyone!

Not getting involved does not mean I can't be friends (pure friendship)or something.

If you read the scriptures that people have cited here, you will understand that it is about what God has to say - NOT what people have to say.

God bless you.

You both have very good and sound points.
As a woman I can't tell you how many countless times I have been judged because I was divorced as If I was the sole cause of failure. I have been asked how many times I have been married by men that were married 3 or 4 times? Never asking if I raised all my children alone and without financial support and was successful as a mother and mentor.

It isn't unusual for some Christian folks to take Bible verses out of context.
Some divorced people are victims of wrongdoing on the part of their EXs.
Yet, the former are treated like villains.

Thanks for weigh-ins from fellow broken people.

The Matt 19 verses serve to illustrate my point precisely: nothing was said! No interpretation given. Verses taken out of textual and (I infer) cultural context.

Being fearful of God's judgment is problematic for those who take Paul seriously. You will never gain that righteousness and Jesus seems to have come simply to impose a more strict law! If that's how you are convicted, that's your business, but there's a very clear line of thought and belief in the New Testament that contradicts that approach and actually makes it a key issue for what it means to follow Jesus.

All of this being said: My plea remains the same. Please Christians, allow for the grace and mercy of Jesus, whose name you claim, to permeate even the most personal decisions, even when looking for a mate.

The irony being that we're talking about those who were victims of others...the challenge to us, the victims, becomes forgiveness, for those who hurt us and those who have perpetrated similar offenses.

I have been on the recieving end of judgement too, it does not feel good or make one feel like they want to sit in any church with grumbles or those who "know" why so and so left them. Sometimes our best is not good enough for our spouses and it is not our fault if they choose others and not us. Time to heal and move on and let go of the pain.

True, also it talks of if one is abandoned a brother or sister is not in bondage in such a case... if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or sister is not under bondage in such a case.

At the end of the road, the ultimate MOST IMPORTANT thing is making heaven.

If we understand that making heaven is more important than ANYTHING ELSE - including marriage, sex, power, etc, we would not take many things the way we take them.

Making heaven is so important that Jesus said it is better to enter heaven with one eye or one hand than to enter hell with both eyes or both hands.

It is also so important that HE compared it to a situation in which a man, after finding out that a field had precious items hidden in it, went and sold everything he had and bought the field.

God bless us all and may HE give us the deepest understanding about how important our souls are.

I'm sorry...that's just not what the Judeo/Christian faith is about according to Scripture. Jesus talks about the kingdom of heaven (aka the kingdom of God) as near. The disembodied hope of heaven is a fallacy of mixing Platonism, pagan beliefs, and Christianity. We are created and meant to be embodied. The final hope is a New Creation where heaven and earth are one. And none of it, none of us, are the point...God is the point and the ultimate; yet he pours himself out continually, showing us that worrying about me, mine, and my making it is a misunderstood Gospel. There is more than our relationships...but Jesus says that loving God and neighbor are intrinsically intertwined. Outward focussed, self-sacrificial, unfair taking on of what will never benefit me, is what it looks like to love and serve others. If I've learned anything from my divorce it is this: that relationships are work and self-sacrifice...and like those two things, they are easier said that practiced. "Unfair" and "foolish" are simply worldly ways of describing "love like Christ." What I experience when I am judged for a label I did not choose is not love. When I am told I am not good enough to be considered as a potential mate because of that label, I am not seeing a love that pours out as God does. Once again, anyone can believe what they will, but there is something specific Jesus proclaims and it's not about us making it to heaven at all costs...

I think it is just fine if you stick to what you believe in and I stick to what I believe in. At the end of the road, you will account for you and I will account for me.

All the best.

I hope you find your someone special and heal. Remember Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted....

I agree with definition that divorce is a sin for both parties. Even when you didn't want it and didn't cause it. I was /am divorced (my ex died 18 years later) I believed I would remain single because God says to marry someone is to cause them to commit adultery. (Mat 5:32, 19:9, Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18) But I met a man who loved God first. He was also divorced (innocently). After 8.5 years of friendship we both believed God gave us permission to marry. We had a wonderful 5 years 2 months and 19 days before God took him home. I don't know if I am widowed or divorced. Probably both. I DO know that God loves me, He forgives my sin. Divorce is a sin but not the unforgivable one.

Perfectly said Cowboy. Fornication is the only way you can Remarry under God's Law. That is the Word, and the Word is the TRUTH. Peace to you ALL.

Kurt from Rice Lake.

If you wanna see hypocrisy to it's fullest? Just visit a Christian thread on here? Some of you don't have a clue and take the moral high ground because you think that you are Gods vicars here on Earth? Gonna get a surprise one day though when you pop it and all you get is haunting an old house you used to stay in?

If you have to make an account to God then you are not in Christ. Christ died for your sins before you committed them. Your accounting was done on the cross 2000 years ago. If you are in Christ you are as close to God as you will ever be WE ARE FORGIVEN. We are not required to "work through our salvation." It was a gift that we are only required to accept. Get out of RELIGION and into CHRIST.

Today's churches are more interested in building and committees than in Christ and Him Crucified. We don't need sermons on titheing since that was an Old Covenant rule. Not in the New Covenant. Doesn't mean we shouldn't give, but it changes the impetous. I give because I want to not because I am commanded to.

There are some devorce people who doesn't know the law of God before remarrying for the 2nd time. God might be an exemption of this. But for those who already know the bible and disobey....... I have nothing to say but it's only God who put us into to judgement.

What I mean they remarry before they come to know the Lord as there personal savior.

I am speechless.Both the proponents and opposers have equal points,valid points.I used to be strict about bible authority on divorce until i saw a victim of a very bad wife who later deserted him.He was willing to endure the hell of behaviors from the so called sister,thats the wife.But she deserted him! Would you be right to tell such a young brother not to remarry?