Today I have been here for a year, I was going to write a poem about this but the words have formed into something more.I came here last October 6, I signed up, sat back and watched for a few days, to get the feel of things.I was a dark,angry,bitter and fu*cked up gurl, full of pain and rage.Seriously doubting that I would find any one much less find friends here. It took me some time to post my first piece of poetry here, and I was so terrified that it would not be received well, I was so very wrong. I came here expecting nothing but disappointment what I have gotten is so much more than any one can possibly imagine.

I have grown in this past year, I have changed. I am and always will be dark, its my nature but I am no longer angry, bitter, no longer filled with pain and rage.Through therapy, friends and family found here, and through out every thread here I healed, I grew, I became who I am.

Terrified I would not be accepted when I came here because of my darkness, oh boy how wrong I was...I have found friends that will last my life time, and I found a family, a family who loves me no matter what, who is here for me each and every time I am in need and in turn I love them no matter what and I am there every time one of them is in need.This is a true family.

I have watched people come and go, I even left my self a few times, we all need time a way from here every once in awhile so we take it.I've watched people fall in and out of love, watched them become friends,watched people fight, watched every bit of life that pulses through this site.

I've looked for love and when I stopped looking it found me, it reached out and hollered for me and grabbed hold of me. I'm not letting go.

I have grown and healed with the help of all of you here, all of my experiences, the good and bad, have taught me in some small way to just be who I am and for this I thank every one of you here and the ones that have moved on.

love it sis!

Happy 1st. JSH Anniversery Friend!

a good one

Poet
I hope you're around for many more years

And in her time she has inspired many.

For a child of darkness, you are indeed a very bright light!

Poet, in your darkness there has always ben a light that wanted to come out, shouted for release. You just needed to show it was there in your words. In showing us what was in you you have brought light to all of us.

Awwwww my sweet g/f I myself had only arrived a month before. At first very seldom did I post as you in fear of rejection. I had no ideal at times why I was even here. Slowly but surely I tried one post than another. Then who knows why like I was stepping off into a deep hole I came into the poetry threads.

For me that was a bit out of par you see poetry was never for me. Had wrote maybe 3-4 pieces before which no one had ever read.

But then............. as I started to read there was one that keep catching my eye. I waited each day till they would post and as I opened each poem with anticipation of what was yet to come. Even tho the words at times were filed with rage upon the page. Stories of blood and gore that were filled with so much hurt. It was as if I was memorized by the words that I read.

For you see I could read those deep dark secrets that slowly was revealed but wihin my heart I knew there layed so much more behind this goth girl. Her pic of one all dressed in black looking so stern with her lips the color of blood. She had built a wall around her vowed not to let anyone in.

But........then she stepped into JSH started posting her poetry thinking no one would ever understand her how could they? They had no ideal of the hardships she had lived or the things life threw her way. Awwww in some ways she was right but in so many she was wrong.

The more I read of these poems farther into a trance I came I felt her words and the hurt as if they came out of the pages and grabbed my heart weaving her words through my soul. We begin to talk through responses about her words upon the page. To me she reminded me of a Dark Deep Black Rose so sweet and soft but to far back in the shadows she stayed.

It was not long before I told her what she reminded me of for to me she was A ROSE IN BLOOM. She smiled her smile and wrote more upon the pages. Before long several were reading her words all memorize by what they read. Then I started to notice something was differnt at first I did not realize what it was then it hit me. Were was the gloom and doom in her words oh there was still some but... not like before. I started to tease her about being this ROSE IN BLOOM she soaked it up and showed me wrote a poem aboout a garden her the Rose and we were the ones that tended to the garden giving our words of encourement as food as we plucked out the weeds that tried to take the Rose down. Slowly chasing away the demons that held the sunlight at bay. Letting the rays of sunlight trickle in on this flower that soon started to reach for those rays of sunlight and slowly before our eyes Started To BLOOM.

You my dear are truly a ROSE IN BLOOM, at times your words of gloom and doom peak in but....now you swat them away and tell them no longer do they hold you in fear. For no matter what you have found out all you have to do is reach out your hand and no matter what there will be someone that will take your hand and there they will be until the fear subsides and once again the calm will take over.

I can say I have truly been blessed by the words upon the page you write. In the past year my self have grown in so many ways. But no matter were in life we may go you my dear I will always keep close for we are connected in more ways than one. I wait in anticipation for one day I know I will see upon a page in a book that will say I love ya gurly signed by Your ROSE IN BLOOM!!



SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG, BUT I THOUGHT THIS STORY WAS WELL WORTH TELLING.

There are some special people to me that I want to say Thank You too...Gurly,Mom,Z,Wego,Karma,Sissy,,TheShadow,Baby_Gurl,Lionsbrew(though though gone he still remains my brother),LG,DaBad,Will06,Jimi366,PublicAnimal,KingBreeze,Shadowdog,Lee,Andrea,Sherrie
Miguel,AdventureBegins,MG1959,BonnyMiss,Jonathon(TransientMind),James(Abracadabra)
EscapedLunatic,Lonelyteardrop(though gone now from this realm you are not forgotten, you will never know the effect you had on my life dear sweet Becca,I miss you),Ontario,Purple Cat,Whispertoascream, Lex,Nus,TTO,Jen36,SalvationJane,Lily38,Gryphyn,ObscureLight,No_Psychos_Please, Snuggles(Pam),pkh(Pam),MzTeddy,DKW and last but not least..Jimz

Thank you...it seems that those 2 words alone cannot express all that I feel but there are no other words that come to mind.You all have no idea what you have done for this lil dark poet gurl in this past year, you opened the door and have given me the world,,given me life.