Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: How important is respect in a relationship to you .
Awatersign Joined Wed 01/22/14 Posts: 3185	Mon 02/02/15 10:19 AM Edited by Awatersign on Mon 02/02/15 10:27 AM
Y'all DO realize that alot of relationships still work when there's hardly any respect in it right? You see,for example,I've seen people with low self esteem ECT,get disrespected on a daily basis and still stay in relationship,oh,and actually lasts too, ,by all means it's not Good for relationship,so some actually work,obviously not most ,but some,so some times, it boils down to who you're dealing with !! That's more like an emotional dependency situation than a relationship .A relationship being only functional is a compromise compared to a relationship built on strength . You have to be very insecure to depend on humiliation of the person in the relationship with you for it to function . I can say this is not for everyone and different people have different opinions on how they want to live their lives. It's hard choosing to give strength to others if you feel weak yourself. Well maybe in some cases it is,but I know what a relationship is,I wasn't born yesterday lol,first of all I know alot of folk here like twist things what you say,the question was,how important is respect in a relationship to you?",it's very,ver,important,for me,we ain't going to get far without it,but my argument is,some people say it can't work without it,and i beg to differ,cause I've been seeing it work from I was a kid,so don't tell that it can't work when I've SEEN it work,say it won't work for YOU or in mst relationship,now I DO agree that there has to be SOME respect at least,but the tolerance level differs with everyone,example again,would you tolerate your "husband or wife",not girl friend or boyfriend,disrespect you in public constantly?That is lack of respect right?Alot of folks won't stand for that,so umm ,it still works,with SOME people,some relationships are really complex ,bottom line!!!

Maxisu Joined Wed 07/16/14 Posts: 1212	Mon 02/02/15 11:55 AM
I'm not sure if there's an actual difference of opinion in any of these posts. Respect is necessary. Getting your own needs met is priority number one. If someone does something to hurt you then discuss it. If someone demands too much of you and never gives back then get it resolved. If all that fails then leave. alright...seriously ...I agree 100 percent...

luvmeforlife Joined Wed 11/06/13 Posts: 700	Mon 02/02/15 11:59 AM
Respect is top priority!

Maxisu Joined Wed 07/16/14 Posts: 1212	Mon 02/02/15 12:06 PM Edited by Maxisu on Mon 02/02/15 12:08 PM
and sometimes we think with our genitals ... I am sure sigmund has something to contribute .. Lmao . Trust is interesting .. As a behaviour and an emotion ... The two are interrelated and perhaps that is where paranoia and delusions creep in and override our ability to learn and evolve .. If it was purely a behaviour then pavlovs reward system would encourage us to be more trusting and develop less dysfunctional coping mechanisms . I did think of pavlov training to introduce her to the world of trust .But was unable to get sponsorship for this project .It seems hard for people to understand the importance of this kind of experiment . And you can't slip electrodes onto anyone without their consent , that's not nice at all . I did think of pavlov training to introduce her to the world of trust "her" ????? who ???? Not anyone you were/ are personally involved with, right ?

dnewnew Joined Fri 05/30/14 Posts: 243	Mon 02/02/15 12:11 PM
You can't love someone if you don"t respect them.....as simple as that Not quite: lots of men & women "fall in love" with someone based on a combination of good looks, finances, same background & culture. Or even fall in love with someone based on sexual chemistry alone...you would be surprised how few people actually ask themselves "do I respect my SO" (what they do for a living, their character etc.) before committing to an RS. Especially if the person is a combination of good looking, charming, well off & attentive. That's how sociopaths are able to succeed & thrive in this world. It's all good until one of the surface attractions breaks down - then comes the realization that they don't respect their SO AND they were never respected to start with either. Whether it's cheating, abuse (physical or emotional), or that famous one "we just grew apart", the respect was never there to start with.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Mon 02/02/15 12:13 PM
respect is a human given, for me I give it to everyone, until they show they refuse to reciprocate than, for better or worse, I usually give back what they dish out

silver14344 Joined Mon 02/02/15 Posts: 143	Mon 02/02/15 12:21 PM
No respect No relationship Next.... I second this... I third the motion Next is communication..... ...yes!its true--

Nocturnaeus Joined Mon 01/26/15 Posts: 17	Mon 02/02/15 12:26 PM
Y'all DO realize that alot of relationships still work when there's hardly any respect in it right? You see,for example,I've seen people with low self esteem ECT,get disrespected on a daily basis and still stay in relationship,oh,and actually lasts too, ,by all means it's not Good for relationship,so some actually work,obviously not most ,but some,so some times, it boils down to who you're dealing with !! That's more like an emotional dependency situation than a relationship .A relationship being only functional is a compromise compared to a relationship built on strength . You have to be very insecure to depend on humiliation of the person in the relationship with you for it to function . I can say this is not for everyone and different people have different opinions on how they want to live their lives. It's hard choosing to give strength to others if you feel weak yourself. Well maybe in some cases it is,but I know what a relationship is,I wasn't born yesterday lol,first of all I know alot of folk here like twist things what you say,the question was,how important is respect in a relationship to you?",it's very,ver,important,for me,we ain't going to get far without it,but my argument is,some people say it can't work without it,and i beg to differ,cause I've been seeing it work from I was a kid,so don't tell that it can't work when I've SEEN it work,say it won't work for YOU or in mst relationship,now I DO agree that there has to be SOME respect at least,but the tolerance level differs with everyone,example again,would you tolerate your "husband or wife",not girl friend or boyfriend,disrespect you in public constantly?That is lack of respect right?Alot of folks won't stand for that,so umm ,it still works,with SOME people,some relationships are really complex ,bottom line!!! Nobody said you were born yesterday dude chill , just stating my opinion and I did say that different people have different opinions somewhere up there. It does work for some people I've seen it work as well . I myself believe that not having the respect you deserve in a relationship is a compromise and no relationship is worth having without mutual respect . I'm no expert on the matter and don't claim to be .

Nocturnaeus Joined Mon 01/26/15 Posts: 17	Mon 02/02/15 12:30 PM Edited by Nocturnaeus on Mon 02/02/15 12:31 PM
and sometimes we think with our genitals ... I am sure sigmund has something to contribute .. Lmao . Trust is interesting .. As a behaviour and an emotion ... The two are interrelated and perhaps that is where paranoia and delusions creep in and override our ability to learn and evolve .. If it was purely a behaviour then pavlovs reward system would encourage us to be more trusting and develop less dysfunctional coping mechanisms . I did think of pavlov training to introduce her to the world of trust .But was unable to get sponsorship for this project .It seems hard for people to understand the importance of this kind of experiment . And you can't slip electrodes onto anyone without their consent , that's not nice at all . I did think of pavlov training to introduce her to the world of trust "her" ????? who ???? Not anyone you were/ are personally involved with, right ? I base all my relationships on a certain amount of experimentation with a cocktail of shock therapy , interrogation , torture and most importantly unconditional love . It doesn't work if you don't give unconditional love.

Awatersign Joined Wed 01/22/14 Posts: 3185	Mon 02/02/15 02:02 PM
Y'all DO realize that alot of relationships still work when there's hardly any respect in it right? You see,for example,I've seen people with low self esteem ECT,get disrespected on a daily basis and still stay in relationship,oh,and actually lasts too, ,by all means it's not Good for relationship,so some actually work,obviously not most ,but some,so some times, it boils down to who you're dealing with !! That's more like an emotional dependency situation than a relationship .A relationship being only functional is a compromise compared to a relationship built on strength . You have to be very insecure to depend on humiliation of the person in the relationship with you for it to function . I can say this is not for everyone and different people have different opinions on how they want to live their lives. It's hard choosing to give strength to others if you feel weak yourself. Well maybe in some cases it is,but I know what a relationship is,I wasn't born yesterday lol,first of all I know alot of folk here like twist things what you say,the question was,how important is respect in a relationship to you?",it's very,ver,important,for me,we ain't going to get far without it,but my argument is,some people say it can't work without it,and i beg to differ,cause I've been seeing it work from I was a kid,so don't tell that it can't work when I've SEEN it work,say it won't work for YOU or in mst relationship,now I DO agree that there has to be SOME respect at least,but the tolerance level differs with everyone,example again,would you tolerate your "husband or wife",not girl friend or boyfriend,disrespect you in public constantly?That is lack of respect right?Alot of folks won't stand for that,so umm ,it still works,with SOME people,some relationships are really complex ,bottom line!!! Nobody said you were born yesterday dude chill , just stating my opinion and I did say that different people have different opinions somewhere up there. It does work for some people I've seen it work as well . I myself believe that not having the respect you deserve in a relationship is a compromise and no relationship is worth having without mutual respect . I'm no expert on the matter and don't claim to be . Well dude,well said,I understand you clearly now,and respect your opinion as well!

Awatersign Joined Wed 01/22/14 Posts: 3185	Mon 02/02/15 02:04 PM
You can't love someone if you don"t respect them.....as simple as that Not quite: lots of men & women "fall in love" with someone based on a combination of good looks, finances, same background & culture. Or even fall in love with someone based on sexual chemistry alone...you would be surprised how few people actually ask themselves "do I respect my SO" (what they do for a living, their character etc.) before committing to an RS. Especially if the person is a combination of good looking, charming, well off & attentive. That's how sociopaths are able to succeed & thrive in this world. It's all good until one of the surface attractions breaks down - then comes the realization that they don't respect their SO AND they were never respected to start with either. Whether it's cheating, abuse (physical or emotional), or that famous one "we just grew apart", the respect was never there to start with. I totally agree with you!

Maxisu Joined Wed 07/16/14 Posts: 1212	Mon 02/02/15 02:16 PM
and sometimes we think with our genitals ... I am sure sigmund has something to contribute .. Lmao . Trust is interesting .. As a behaviour and an emotion ... The two are interrelated and perhaps that is where paranoia and delusions creep in and override our ability to learn and evolve .. If it was purely a behaviour then pavlovs reward system would encourage us to be more trusting and develop less dysfunctional coping mechanisms . I did think of pavlov training to introduce her to the world of trust .But was unable to get sponsorship for this project .It seems hard for people to understand the importance of this kind of experiment . And you can't slip electrodes onto anyone without their consent , that's not nice at all . I did think of pavlov training to introduce her to the world of trust "her" ????? who ???? Not anyone you were/ are personally involved with, right ? I base all my relationships on a certain amount of experimentation with a cocktail of shock therapy , interrogation , torture and most importantly unconditional love . It doesn't work if you don't give unconditional love. Sounds like a prerequisite to SM to me... so you admit to relationships....obviously including emotional dependency situations

Jtevans Joined Fri 08/10/07 Posts: 30654	Mon 02/02/15 02:18 PM
depends on how well she can make a sammich

Maxisu Joined Wed 07/16/14 Posts: 1212	Mon 02/02/15 02:20 PM
You can't love someone if you don"t respect them.....as simple as that Not quite: lots of men & women "fall in love" with someone based on a combination of good looks, finances, same background & culture. Or even fall in love with someone based on sexual chemistry alone...you would be surprised how few people actually ask themselves "do I respect my SO" (what they do for a living, their character etc.) before committing to an RS. Especially if the person is a combination of good looking, charming, well off & attentive. That's how sociopaths are able to succeed & thrive in this world. It's all good until one of the surface attractions breaks down - then comes the realization that they don't respect their SO AND they were never respected to start with either. Whether it's cheating, abuse (physical or emotional), or that famous one "we just grew apart", the respect was never there to start with. I totally agree with you! I am not sure about that... in the case you get "fooled"...well obviously someone did play it. but growing apart...that's way harder to judge

1j9b6c5 Joined Wed 11/05/08 Posts: 3954	Mon 02/02/15 03:44 PM
No respect, no relationship. Know respect, know relationship.