Community > Posts By > Nocturnaeus

 
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Fri 02/06/15 07:24 AM


You can't really change them and there will be huge problems . Someone ends up saying something stupid and you find the need to carve your own brain out with a spoon for being dumb enough to have positive expectations from the delusional. I have no problems interacting with the moderately religious but when it comes to relationships it's just too much of a compromise .
If necessary you can make them watch "inherit the wind" and similar material for a few months before you take the plunge .
Or pretend to be religious and consider it a social experiment.

it's a nice coincidence to find a Syrian Atheist fellow in Mingle2 drinker

Cheers man , you'd be happy to know there are many Atheists here in Syria . Great to find people with similar mentalities anywhere drinker

Nocturnaeus's photo
Mon 02/02/15 12:30 PM
Edited by Nocturnaeus on Mon 02/02/15 12:31 PM



and sometimes we think with our genitals ... I am sure sigmund has something to contribute .. Lmao . Trust is interesting .. As a behaviour and an emotion ... The two are interrelated and perhaps that is where paranoia and delusions creep in and override our ability to learn and evolve .. If it was purely a behaviour then pavlovs reward system would encourage us to be more trusting and develop less dysfunctional coping mechanisms .


I did think of pavlov training to introduce her to the world of trust .But was unable to get sponsorship for this project .It seems hard for people to understand the importance of this kind of experiment . And you can't slip electrodes onto anyone without their consent , that's not nice at all .




I did think of pavlov training to introduce her to the world of trust

"her" ????? who ????

Not anyone you were/ are personally involved with, right ?



I base all my relationships on a certain amount of experimentation with a cocktail of shock therapy , interrogation , torture and most importantly unconditional love . It doesn't work if you don't give unconditional love.happy happy happy

Nocturnaeus's photo
Mon 02/02/15 12:26 PM



Y'all DO realize that alot of relationships still work when there's hardly any respect in it right? You see,for example,I've seen people with low self esteem ECT,get disrespected on a daily basis and still stay in relationship,oh,and actually lasts too,surprised ,by all means it's not Good for relationship,so some actually work,obviously not most ,but some,so some times, it boils down to who you're dealing with !!


That's more like an emotional dependency situation than a relationship .A relationship being only functional is a compromise compared to a relationship built on strength . You have to be very insecure to depend on humiliation of the person in the relationship with you for it to function . I can say this is not for everyone and different people have different opinions on how they want to live their lives.
It's hard choosing to give strength to others if you feel weak yourself.

Well maybe in some cases it is,but I know what a relationship is,I wasn't born yesterday lol,first of all I know alot of folk here like twist things what you say,the question was,how important is respect in a relationship to you?",it's very,ver,important,for me,we ain't going to get far without it,but my argument is,some people say it can't work without it,and i beg to differ,cause I've been seeing it work from I was a kid,so don't tell that it can't work when I've SEEN it work,say it won't work for YOU or in mst relationship,now I DO agree that there has to be SOME respect at least,but the tolerance level differs with everyone,example again,would you tolerate your "husband or wife",not girl friend or boyfriend,disrespect you in public constantly?That is lack of respect right?Alot of folks won't stand for that,so umm ,it still works,with SOME people,some relationships are really complex ,bottom line!!!


Nobody said you were born yesterday dude chill , just stating my opinion and I did say that different people have different opinions somewhere up there. It does work for some people I've seen it work as well . I myself believe that not having the respect you deserve in a relationship is a compromise and no relationship is worth having without mutual respect . I'm no expert on the matter and don't claim to be . :smile:

Nocturnaeus's photo
Mon 02/02/15 08:43 AM

Y'all DO realize that alot of relationships still work when there's hardly any respect in it right? You see,for example,I've seen people with low self esteem ECT,get disrespected on a daily basis and still stay in relationship,oh,and actually lasts too,surprised ,by all means it's not Good for relationship,so some actually work,obviously not most ,but some,so some times, it boils down to who you're dealing with !!


That's more like an emotional dependency situation than a relationship .A relationship being only functional is a compromise compared to a relationship built on strength . You have to be very insecure to depend on humiliation of the person in the relationship with you for it to function . I can say this is not for everyone and different people have different opinions on how they want to live their lives.
It's hard choosing to give strength to others if you feel weak yourself.

Nocturnaeus's photo
Mon 02/02/15 08:28 AM
Edited by Nocturnaeus on Mon 02/02/15 08:29 AM







and sometimes we think with our genitals ... I am sure sigmund has something to contribute .. Lmao . Trust is interesting .. As a behaviour and an emotion ... The two are interrelated and perhaps that is where paranoia and delusions creep in and override our ability to learn and evolve .. If it was purely a behaviour then pavlovs reward system would encourage us to be more trusting and develop less dysfunctional coping mechanisms .



I did think of pavlov training to introduce her to the world of trust .But was unable to get sponsorship for this project .It seems hard for people to understand the importance of this kind of experiment . And you can't slip electrodes onto anyone without their consent , that's not nice at all .

Nocturnaeus's photo
Sun 02/01/15 08:53 PM

without a doubt low self confidence can be a factor in mistrust...Irrational thought processes.. Previous lived experiences and exposure to an environment where trusting is a challenge. As a baby trust is implicit . . We trust that those who care for us will love feed and nurture . Until we are shown otherwise . .in that regard it is a learned response . As our brain develops so does our cognition ... as adults we assign our own ideals of trust .. And boundaries that have meaning to us as individuals .


That reminds me of the beginning of one of the zeitgeist movies .Can't remember which one . Also part of Kymatica.
I have dealt with a case of chronic lack of trust that lasted more than a few years . It's very hard to teach people who have this to be shown another way , I have learned . Sometimes as adults we can assign the wrong ideals and become delusional , even paranoid .




Nocturnaeus's photo
Sun 02/01/15 07:54 PM

respect in a relationship a must. however some disrespect in the bedroom can be fun lol


Have you seen " Bitter Moon " .The whole fun thing is referred to in the movie . If you watch it there's a scene where the main characters are both wearing masks .Your comment reminded me of that scene .
I wont spoil it for you , check it out .
:smile:

Nocturnaeus's photo
Sun 02/01/15 07:50 PM



if i didn't respect the lady , i wouldn't be in a relationship with them

once i loose respect its more or less a game ender

and i really don't care what others think about what a relationship should be like
only the 2 in it can answer that

its like a movie critic , if you don't like there taste for movies ... does that mean you are wrong ? ?
: )

Outside opinions shouldn't affect a relationship agreed , one of the fundamentals of respect is making mutual decisions without the influence of others in my opinion .
Don't understand the movie critic thing though :)


came from this part of your sentance
We live in a world full of false idols and intense media brainwashing .Television talk show hosts telling you how to live your life and how to manage your relationships

just a failed attempt to clarify the outside influence

oh, well so and so says we shouldn't be together and that it wont work etc etc etc


Oh I see , the so and so's influence is usually negative . Relatives and friends can mess up a relationship so fast . Not the nice ones though .Those are good to have around .

Nocturnaeus's photo
Sun 02/01/15 07:29 PM

I feel like we have met before .laughing. Hi u :-)

In my world .dignity respect..congruence and positive regard are the four cornerstones of therapeutic communication ..necessary to build trust in a relationship . Without respect . Trust will be difficult to achieve . Without trust even the strongest relationship will be unlikely to thrive :-)



Hi yourself :smile: Mistrust plays a heavy role in disrespect . It seems people who are not trustworthy always assume the other person is doing the same thing . People who cheat also usually assume the other person is unfaithful . So lack of trust according to my experience can sometimes be a reflection of low self confidence .

Nocturnaeus's photo
Sun 02/01/15 07:21 PM

if i didn't respect the lady , i wouldn't be in a relationship with them

once i loose respect its more or less a game ender

and i really don't care what others think about what a relationship should be like
only the 2 in it can answer that

its like a movie critic , if you don't like there taste for movies ... does that mean you are wrong ? ?
: )

Outside opinions shouldn't affect a relationship agreed , one of the fundamentals of respect is making mutual decisions without the influence of others in my opinion .
Don't understand the movie critic thing though :)

Nocturnaeus's photo
Sun 02/01/15 06:52 PM
I refuse to condescend flowerforyou

Nocturnaeus's photo
Sun 02/01/15 06:49 PM
Under The Skin (2013)
It's a fairly good movie provided you stay clear of spoilers . I believe one word could kill this movie .

Phenomenon (1996)
Excellent movie , highly recommended .

Whiplash (2014)
Good movie, very intense .Highly recommended for people with interest in music performance.

Nocturnaeus's photo
Sun 02/01/15 06:39 PM
We live in a world full of false idols and intense media brainwashing .Television talk show hosts telling you how to live your life and how to manage your relationships .The issue of respect is often neglected.
How important is respect in a relationship to you ?

Nocturnaeus's photo
Sun 02/01/15 05:42 PM
You can't really change them and there will be huge problems . Someone ends up saying something stupid and you find the need to carve your own brain out with a spoon for being dumb enough to have positive expectations from the delusional. I have no problems interacting with the moderately religious but when it comes to relationships it's just too much of a compromise .
If necessary you can make them watch "inherit the wind" and similar material for a few months before you take the plunge .
Or pretend to be religious and consider it a social experiment.

Nocturnaeus's photo
Sun 02/01/15 05:17 PM
Opeth fan for ten years . Actually did an Opeth tribute event a while back . Still Life is my favorite , even named a kitten Melinda recently :D

Nocturnaeus's photo
Tue 01/27/15 08:06 AM
Thanks , will do . happy

Nocturnaeus's photo
Mon 01/26/15 06:30 PM
It's far better than women not knowing what they want, being forward. However there is such a thing as too forward. Some know what they want and persist in getting what they want even when the other person doesn't necessarily want what they want and has made it clear that they want the opposite of what they want ( for example restraining order) .